I trained mine to roll cigars for both of us!

Comments

• rockerface@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Finally, a healthy and eco-friendly alternative to genAI girlfriend!

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• gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Taught mine to roll a joint, then he took all my weed and sold it, came back acting like he had no idea what happened and was all like idk I just found this new Apple Watch.

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• sam_the_tech@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Unfortunately, you cannot bring the smoking drinking monkey indoors at most establishments these days

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  • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Never drink alone. You aren’t alone in a bar. This is a Pandemic era innovation in monkeybusiness.

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  • Godric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Man, Europe sounds miserable these days!

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    You try and keep the smoking drinking money outside without me, I’ll be inside drinking and smoking with my monkey

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• Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  If it doesn’t smoke is it really a drinking buddy?

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• HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Can I order a smoking monkey? I don’t drink much anymore

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  • Godric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Well, they do drink no matter what, but they dont need much!

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      that monkey better stay the hell out of my rum!

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• CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  $14.99?!?

  I’ll do all of that for free. Just the cost of booze and smokes. I too an not picky about brand and will drink most anything. (I’m ok at pickpocketing)

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  • BurnedDonutHole@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Yeah but you’re not a monkey are you? If I wanted to drink with humans I would have done it friends or strangers at a bar.

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    • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      More of an ape than a monkey, but I’m told I’m fun at parties.

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  • Godric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Have you SEEN the price of whisky these days? The cost of getting that little fucker drunk and lightfingered is negligible, even if he smokes like a chimney

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    • CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      That’s why I agreed to do it for free.

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• Dispassionate@quokk.au ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  The only friend I’ve ever wanted.

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• onlyhalfminotaur@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  Can’t wait to eat that monkey

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• PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  What if I don’t want to share my liquor?

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  • Godric@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    Mibkeys need like a shot of whisky to get hammered you stingy bastard! I’d call you a caveman but they at least would throw a dog a bone

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    • PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      Are you drunk now? If so… MY MAN!

      And no… Joey doesn’t share booze

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