Mom disclosure agreements are one-sided.
Betrayal đ„Č
Submitted âšâš2â© âšweeksâ© agoâ© by âšdiffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.comâ© to âšmemes@sopuli.xyzâ©
https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/931fcead-71fa-4851-b1b7-aa280357e9c8.webp
Comments
HowAbt2day@futurology.today âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
hoppolito@mander.xyz âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
My partner tends to do the same and I am not sure how to start this discussion. We recently had a fight about our respective ways of interacting during arguments just before they get heated and talked about it afterwards, coming to a (what I thought) somewhat satisfying conclusion on the areas we could each work on. Fast-forward about a week and by now I have overheard her tell this âstoryâ of our fight to about 5 different friends and family members on the phone, over the various days.
Like I said, Iâm just not sure how to handle it - I donât want to cut off her communication with friends. I realize sometimes you need to bounce off an idea youâre mulling over with a close friend. But I also feel there are certain private affairs I just donât wanted chatted about to all our extended friend circle, and this is a pattern thatâs repeated itself often enough now for me to recognize.
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Maybe tell her ? If you donât communicate they wonât be able to just guess
hoppolito@mander.xyz âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I mean yes, definitely, itâs a topic I want to broach. But since Iâm not even sure myself yet on my exact feelings or wishes I find it harder to open a gentle, full discussion - especially when it may be around adjusting some fundamental relationship assumptions like here.
But I definitely didnât want to make it sound like a one-sided fault, as these things rarely are.
valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Realistically I wanna say that your last paragraph sounds perfectly worded to broach the topic with her.
It tells her that you do not fundamentally want to isolate her, that she should be able to talk about stuff with friends but that you want some things to be private or at least have a say on how or if something gets discussed with friends.
Maybe try to frame what the deciding factor is to make something private for you as well?
I do not feel comfortable if you air out our discussions on weaknesses when those are moments where I feel we can be vulnerable and frank with each other. I just do not want to feel like I share those critical moments with all our friends and family but I want to at least have time to digest it myself. If we improve and/or it feels like we have progressed from the topic I think it is fair game but otherwise it really puts pressure on me.
Maybe something like this, if it fits what you are feeling?
But I think discussing it is the right way forward and I know how hard it can be to talk with a partner about stuff like this.
GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
This is my dad.
I learned in my teens that anything shared with him is going to make it to the family Iâm no-contact with. So, of course Iâm taking lion taming classes while also teaching ESL to native aborigines and doing tattoos on children at Drag Queen Book Club.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Drag Queen Book Club?
Is that where the dude in the dress has all the kids gather around? Oh, no, wait, Iâm thinking of Jesus.
GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
ThatGuyNamedZeus@feddit.org âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Practice better OpSecâŠdonât reveal secrets to people who wonât keep them
squirrel@piefed.zip âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Is that Jim Carrey? Because I donât know anymore.
archonet@lemy.lol âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
no, I believe thatâs Walton Goggins if Iâm not mistaken.
harmbugler@piefed.social âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Walton Goggins
red_tomato@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I had the same reaction
red_tomato@lemmy.world âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
I donât share anything to my mom unless I want it broadcasted to the world
pir8t0x@lemmy.ml âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
If you have an extra old phone you no longer useâŠ
You can convieniently tape it under the living room table⊠(and record conversations)
đ€«
Whoâs the master gossiper now, fam?
U7826391786239@piefed.zip âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
turning around and repeating every damn thing youâre told is a good way to end up never getting told anything
Omnipitaph@reddthat.com âš2â© âšweeksâ© ago
Yup. Learned real quick never to tell my mom anything lol.