Shabana Mahmood puts the signs up: Britain is full. No blacks, no dogs, no Irish

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• unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I was really confused until i understood that this is a satire comedy story.

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  • mannycalavera@feddit.uk ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This is the guardian. They’re deadly serious.

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    • pimento64@sopuli.xyz ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      🫵 DIDN’T READ THE ARTICLE

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    • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No i mean it literally is a stage play script satirizing Shabana Mahmood.

      Shabana Mahmood had been dozing in bed when Shabana Mahmood had burst into her room and pulled back the duvet. Shabana forced her eyes open, trying to make sense of this unexpected intrusion. She reached for her phone. Where was her security detail? Surely this must be a mistake.

      “I need to call Keir Starmer,” Shabana sobbed. “He will vouch for me. There must have been some mistake.”

      “No mistake,” Shabana snarled. “And don’t go bleating to Keir. He’s the one who signed off on all this.

      “Can’t you just give me a few more days? Why don’t you go and deport David Lammy first? I can give you his address.”

      “This can’t be right. I couldn’t be more British if I tried. I’ve integrated so well I’ve even become home secretary. I’m a Labour politician whom Reform are happy to call one of their own. I have a couple of Union Jacks to drape myself in when I appear on GB News. I’ll even sign something to say I hate immigrants.”

      “Not good enough, I’m afraid,” said Shabana. “The thing is you still look foreign. So pack up your things. On second thoughts, don’t bother. Because we’re going to take all your possessions anyway. Everything from your phone, your jewellery to your house. Just so no one comes over here with the idea that they can come over here, contribute and make a life for themselves.”

      Fresh from deporting herself, Shabana appeared in the Commons late on Monday afternoon to give an update on her asylum and deportation policy. The system was broken, she said. There were dark forces at work. Somehow she made this sound as if she thought this was a good thing.

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• lordnikon@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  No Irish wouldn’t that violate the 1953 CTA agreement?

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• Darkness343@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Savannah Mammoth

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• Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I don’t think she’s done any of the sort? Didn’t she just make it harder to get Indefinite Leave to Remain as a refugee?

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  • Denjin@feddit.uk ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Hey, try reading the article before commenting.

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    • Flax_vert@feddit.uk ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s some weird nonsense about the Home Secretary deporting herself written by a decaying white guy

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