Submitted 1 day ago by silence7@slrpnk.net to nyt_gift_articles@sopuli.xyz
Jury selection started on Monday for Sean C. Dunn, who was charged with misdemeanor assault after hitting a federal agent with a “sub-style sandwich.”
Subway should really just hire this guy as the next spokesperson, he’s already got a better reputation than the last guy charged with a crime.
Plot twist: Trump admin hires Jared instead
Oh shit you’re right. Sshhhhh! Don’t let them figure that out.
America, the land of the free where… Let me check my notes… the police will imprison you over a sandwich.
I’m getting word from the police that the sandwich possibly contained fentanyl. Several officers have already called in experiencing high instances of death and are asking for more long term disability paid leave to recover.
To be fair the immense amount of ludicrously expensive military gear these traitors wear won’t protect them from the deliciousness of a well prepared sub-style sandwich.
I shudder to think what would have happened if he were armed with a Po Boy!
How dare they go against the Hurl of Sandwich?!
This administration hates heroes!
They’re gonna give him a jury of all federal agents
This guy unavailable for comment www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufSQMXLO95w Here comes the pizza
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 1 day ago
What’s the charge? Enjoying a succulent sub sandwich?
snooggums@piefed.world 1 day ago
Sharing a succulent sub sandwich.