Think you're screwed, hun

Comments

• 0x01@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  If an apple a day keeps em away, what happens if you eat 80% of an apple, maybe the real problem is that most of us don’t eat the core and stem, doctors have a very refined apple consumption detection organ that can detect even slight deviations!

  source

  • toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    What happens if you eat one half each of two separate apples?

    source

    • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      half a doctor for two days

      source

      • -> View More Comments
  • KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Does the apple juice left on your finger count as part of an apple?

    source
• primrosepathspeedrun@anarchist.nexus ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  I ate an apple once. Then i was hit by truck. The medics did their best…

  source

  • idunnololz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Rip

    source
• railway692@piefed.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  When the doctor accidentally eats an apple:

  Image

  source
• individual@toast.ooo ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  she should’ve eaten tylonol instead

  source
• wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Nope, gotta shove it back up in there. Rules are rules.

  source
• don@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Don’t take apples! Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen. But with apples, don’t take it! Don’t take it! And if you can’t live, if your baby is so bad you have to take one because there’s no alternative to that, sadly. First question, what can ya take instead, it’s actually there’s not an alternative to that. And as you know, other of the, other of the apples are absolutely proven bad. I mean they’ve been proven bad with the Galaxy Crisps and the Granny Smiths and others, right? And they’ve been proven bad.

  source
• Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Fortunately apples have no effect on midwives

  source
• BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

  Midwife time!

  source