The Button

Comments

• GooberEar@lemmy.wtf ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I dunno if it is intentional, but there’s a an additional layer of humor in this for me:

  Where I live, there’s a company called Labcorp and they are basically the de facto company for pre-employment and random drug testing. I’m sure they do more than just drug tests, but drug testing is about all non-medical folks know of the place.

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  • FinalRemix@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Yup Yup LabCorp crew represent! They steal a lot of my blood on behalf of my doctors.

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    • thesystemisdown@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Mine has pretty good vampires.

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  • mkwt@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I went to labcorp for a while when I needed monthly blood draws for my doctor.

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  • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I have to get blood drawn every 3 months, and can go to either labcorp or the doctors office.

    Which is technically also labcorp, or at least it’s somewhat affiliated with them. I think it’s the only blood game in town!

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    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Quest Diagnostics.

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• ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I used to hang with some behavioral psychology grad students (the type that follow the practices of B.F. Skinner and operant conditioning) who were researching the effects of various drugs on pigeons. We were drinking in their lab one time and there were about thirty white pitchers sitting on a table; eventually I noticed that they all had little white, twitching tails sticking out of them - each one contained a pigeon face-down waiting to be put into the testing chamber. I asked them how they managed to get the pigeons into the pitchers and keep them there and they just laughed. They took me into the cage room and showed me how they just opened the cage door and held up a pitcher and the bird would fly like a rocket straight into it. Sometimes they went in so hard they would knock themselves unconscious.

  There are some obvious ethical issues with animal experimentation, but as a certified druggie myself their lives didn’t seem all that bad.

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  • drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    They should use seagulls instead of pigeons, fuck seagulls.

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    • shneancy@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      seagulls are spirits of mischief and chaos, i’m pretty sure they’d intentionally fuck with the data

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• lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Any of these cocaine button studies planning on moving to human trials soon? Asking for a friend.

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  • ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    None of the ones I know about. IRB is never going to approve that. Impersonate a masque and you might have a shot.

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    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Impersonate a masque

      Macaque?

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• TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  So, they finally escaped. World domination is imminent!

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  • OlinOfTheHillPeople@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I think so Brain, but if you replace the ‘P’ with an ‘O’, my name would be Oinky, wouldn’t it?

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    • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I think so, Brain, but burlap does chafe me so!

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• m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  And one more time after that.

  And one more time after that…

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• YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  me_irl

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• friendly_ghost@beehaw.org ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  SID

  WHAT ABOUT THE FAREWELL DRUGS

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