Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
My body and I have an adversarial relationship
Submitted 7 months ago by voracitude@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/7c632f41-097f-482e-ae4a-95facfdf94c4.png
Comments
xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
NaoPb@eviltoast.org 7 months ago
Aurora Borealis?
threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 7 months ago
At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
andros_rex@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Pain is googling “instant heartburn relief” at 3 am. “Have you tried going back in time to eat less garbage?” as well as the suggestion to literally drink acid (apple cider vinegar).
SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Fuck. Suffered through life for years before getting a solid prescription for Omeprazole. Life changing.
Waking up at 3am breathing fucking fire because my stomach pushed up some of the worst acid is a hell of a thing to try and start understanding when you’re not even awake enough to understand what’s going on
dezvous@lemmy.world 7 months ago
Its shitpost not shit post
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 months ago
You’re a shit post
dezvous@lemmy.world 7 months ago
No u
abbadon420@lemm.ee 7 months ago
I want to seymour stuff like this
boredtortoise@lemm.ee 7 months ago
Suddenly Seymour
BlitzoTheOisSilent@lemmy.world 7 months ago
🎵Standing beside you🎵
raynethackery@lemmy.world 7 months ago
You don’t need no makeup
RGB3x3@lemmy.world 7 months ago
The conversation for me usually goes:
Brain: Hmm, I’m not doing anything, might as well eat.
Stomach: Yeah, I guess I could have a bit.
Brain: I’ve eaten, but there’s more pizza there. Guess I’ll have more.
Stomach: Please no, I’m full.
Brain: Hmm, two more slices isn’t really enough to save, I should eat it.
Stomach: God please, no. Let it end! I can’t take any more!
Brain: Oh! I just remembered we have some ice cream in the freezer!
Stomach: KILL ME! I WANT TO DIE!
Me: Ugh, why the fuck did I eat a whole pizza by myself…
partial_accumen@lemmy.world 7 months ago
When dealing with your stomach its better to treat it like a 5 year old.
“I’m hungry!”
“Okay lets get you some food”
“I want chocolate cake and ice cream!”
“you can have some ice cream, but only after you eat your vegetables”
“I don’t want vegetables! Now I want Pizza!”
“When you eat nothing but cake, ice cream, and pizza you feel really bad. Here’s a steak, some rice, and steamed broccoli”
“FINE!..but I still want the ice cream afterward”
“You cleared the plate! Would you like some ice cream now?”
“No, I don’t want ice cream now. I want to take a nap”
RGB3x3@lemmy.world 7 months ago
It’s over when the Brain and Stomach team up to override you and you end up eating pizza and ice cream anyway.
partial_accumen@lemmy.world 7 months ago
To me thats more of: Brain stepped on a Lego and tripped smacking into the counter edge and is knocked out cold. Now Stomach is running wild and unchecked and pizza and ice cream in excess is consumed by Stomach. Brain wakes up sometime later to deal with the fallout and admonishes Stomach about the bad behavior and makes it promise to never do that again.