Comment on Anon wipes his ass

Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

• quixotic120@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I gave up on reddit years ago but whenever someone posts about bidets it reminds me of my favorite reddit exchange

  Someone posted asking why americans don’t use bidets. I commented, saying “am american, use bidet. Love it, shits tight”

  Eventually a reply came from a confused esl person asking me if I had a constipation problem because they didn’t understand the colloquialism “shits tight”

  I think about that exchange more often than I should

  source

  • Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I mean a bidet would help with tight shit as well.

    source

    • reev@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      A bidet is a miracle device, helps in any and all situations. Diarrhea? Solved. Constipation? Solved. Regular? Surprisingly, solved. Wanna do the front too? Can be a bit awkward but it’s got you covered (in water, of course). Washing the throne? Solved. Basic calculus? Solved. Advanced calculus? Believe it or not, solved. Taxes? Avoided. Marriage counseling? Ever since I got my bidet my wife says my “stench is less appalling”. Solved, baby. I even use it to water the garden and defend my house from intruders.

      Cannot recommend enough.

      source

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Neti pot? Solved!

        source
      • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Thirsty? Solved!

        source
    • echodot@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Would require good water pressure. Although that’s a careful balancing act because you can go too far the other way. Then that’s an embarrassing hospital visit.

      source

      • Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Doubtful. I have never heard of residential water pressure high enough to do any damage.

        source
      • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Fires up pressure washer with extreme prejudice.

        source
  • shades@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    they didn’t understand the colloquialism “shits tight”

    ¡Duce’s Loose!

    <wavesPinkyAndThumbInTheShaka>

    source
  • Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Someone posted asking why americans don’t use bidets. I commented, saying “am american, use bidet. Love it, shits tight”

    Apparently they didn’t know shit.

    source
• Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Joe Bidet?

  source

  • Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    John Bidet, inventor of the bidet.

    source
• motor_spirit@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  gang 🤞

  source
• Subverb@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  My house has four bathrooms and three bidets. My teenage son just won’t get on board with having a clean ass.

  source

  • Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Maybe he has a sensitive ass.

    source

    • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s gentler than tp

      source

      • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Maybe he thinks touching his butthole would make him gay and a bidet would force him to wipe.

        source