zombie Jesus broke the rules
Even living Jesus broke the rules. According to the fanfic gospel of John, Lazarus was dead for four days before Jesus resurrected him. It’s where the line “Jesus wept” comes from.
Comment on Thought-provoking
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I don’t understand why people are making it such a big deal. Jesus died, yes, but he has risen from the dead after a few days. So basically he only died for a weekend, for the human race. “Oh what a brave man! He gave up his weekend!” There are other people who did much more for the human race, like Fritz Haber for example. Also, necromancy isn’t allowed according to the bible, so zombie Jesus broke the rules.
rtxn@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The entire bible if filled with contradicting stories, with incest, child abuse and murder. Nice book as reference for a better life 👌
rtxn@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Realistically, the Bible is a compilation of cherry-picked stories ranging from historical fiction to high fantasy, written by dudes who weren’t alive at the time, in a language nobody speaks anymore, translated a dozen times, losing important historical and grammatical context each time, with parts added/removed/rewritten at the ruling political and religious leaders’ fancy. I want to read the version where a Bethlehem resident wanted to confirm Mary’s post-natal virginity by hand, but the pope won’t let me.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Damn. It isn’t dope the pope said nope.
Also, the book is interpreted the way people want to interpret as an excuse to support their bad behavior. It’s veeeeeery convenient there are so many versions out there, as a result of loose translations and copying by hand by monks for several hundred years. Just pick the version you like the most and you’re free to abuse kids and be a racist homophobe transphobe piece of shit.
tryagain@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
“fanfic” absolutely sent me. That’s exactly what it is. Stealing!
rtxn@lemmy.world 1 week ago
that’s okay, I stole it too
tryagain@lemmy.ml 1 week ago
Zombie Jesus will surely forgive us
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
If any gospel is least fanfic it’s John. The Synoptics are older
TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Fritz Haber for example
I mean… Haber isn’t exactly a giant of morality and ethics. He did invent most of the chemical weapons utilized in WW1, and expressly defended their use as weapons.
phobiac@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
He tried to kill people and ended up helping feed the world, then he tried to feed people and ended up helping the Holocaust. The guy is a fascinating historical figure but definitely a was a monster.
TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Yeah, and helping feed people wasn’t exactly his original motivation for the haber-bosch process either. During the late 19th century empires were running low on natural sources of nitrates for making gun powder, as the British had held a near monopoly of the guano mines in South America and India.
Judging by this, his time as an artillery man for the prussians, his combustion research after he finished the haber process, and his over all obsession with creating weapons of war… It’s pretty safe to assume fertilizer was an afterthought.
phobiac@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I wasn’t super clear but that’s what I was referring to with the “tried to kill people, and helped feed people instead”.
When he tried to feed people he came up with what eventually was used to make Zyklon-B.
Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Jesus wasn’t a zombie, Jesus was a lich.
Sonor@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m kinda bummed out about necromancy though :/
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah me too, my favorite hobby but instead I’m only allowed to indoctrinate kids.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Fritz Haber… For the Haber-Bosch process or chemical weapons?
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
During WW1 he killed millions by developing chlorine gas, among other poisoness gasses, but he saves billions by discovering how to synthesize fertilizer.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Fossil fuel based fertilizer has also contributed to global inequality - synthetic fertilizer is 3-4 times cheaper in Europe than Africa.
And the cheapness of nitrogen fertilizer has led to massive problems with too much fertilizer ending up in the ocean, sparking algae blooms and subsequent oxygen starvation. Just look at the Baltic Sea.
feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
atmospheric nitrogen is a fossil fuel
the fertiliser made itself more expensive in africa
point three certainly standsLordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah but who cares about Africa and climate, rich white people have stocked up supermarkets with products from around the world. Like New Zealand wine next to Chile wine in stores in France. Like… Ok… Australian mineral water in the Netherlands… With the highest quality tap water ever…
BakerBagel@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
You can lean to scientists like Norman Borlaug who saved billions without becoming a merchant of death.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah but where’s the fun in that. Than Jesus died for nothing haha
HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Dead Friday night and alive by sunrise Sunday morning. 18 hours dead at most.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I don’t know how long days are where you live, but dead Friday night and alive on Sunday morning means he was dead the entire Saturday, which over here means he has been dead for at least 24h plus the hours on Friday night and Sunday morning. Still kinda lame, dead for a few hours for the entire human race, both in the past and future. Is that all it takes?
HelluvaKick@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I meant to say 36 but it was before I had my coffee.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Those are the moments I usually fuck up too. If Jesus would have died for 2 more days, maybe we wouldn’t need our black god juice to function normally. But no, Jesus was a lazy fuck.
belastend@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
Nah, nights dont count, he was asleep.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Fuck no, bunch of hookers and cocain, sleeping is for losers.
inv3r510n@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Capitalists be like “Jesus gave up his weekend, you can too!”
Backlog3231@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
Your dad sent you here to suffer and die? Big deal that’s what the rest of us are doing.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Hahaha and his dad didn’t even beat him or told him he’s a disappointment