Comment on Twitter

• makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Okay, now that you’ve edited your comment to clarify, it makes sense. The term dead seemed quite literal in your previous and original text, but now I can see it is a term for that part of society, when they change their name and leave the ordinary behind., and it is insulting to that person.

  Since it wasn’t clear at the start, but that’s okay. Now it makes sense.

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  • adespoton@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Here’s a deadnaming example that should resonate with conservative women…

    You get married and take your husband’s name, but your parents insist on continuing to call you by your maiden name.

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    • 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I wouldn’t just say conservative women, since this is a really good explanation for anyone. My cousin and partner changed their last name to something altogether different when they got married. For them, it wasn’t fair to the one for the other take the first’s family name, so they just chose a new one. It was really hard for the rest of the family (there’s a history with that family name that caused the hardship in its change, and the name holds a lot of weight to the entire extended family). Do you know what didn’t happen, though? Absolutely no one, despite how hard it was for them, called the couple by their former name once they announced the name change. Not even our grandmother, whose family name it was and was carried over from her deceased husband. One of their former friends (not even family), however, refused to accept the name change, and kept calling them by their former name. I would consider that dead naming, too.

      Name changes are hard for the people around you. Not always for malicious reasons. For me, for example, when a trans friend changed names, I kept calling them by the name that was ingrained in my head for a decade. I caught myself, and fixed it during the conversations. I apologized the first few times, and was assured that no apologies were needed, since it was clear I was trying. It took a bit, but the new name has now been associated with them, and I no longer stumble. Some people, I’ve noticed, find it offensive, for some stupid reason, when someone changes their own name, and will absolutely not call them by it. I will never understand that part. It’s not your name–i’s their name ffs–just flippin call them by their preferred name.

      I went off on a tangent, but all this to say that you offered a good, generic, applies-to-all-generations explanation.

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  • subignition@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I did not edit my comment. Why are you lying?

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    • makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I guess I hit reply. Started typing.

      You hit edit whilst I was typing. I replied some minutes later.

      Makes perfect sense to me.

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    • makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Look, if you did not, then that’s fine, but I completely read it differently earlier. To me, it read, as though you said, a dead trans person. That made it so niche that it was bizarre and incomprehensible that anybody would even understand it. But as people have commented below, I now fully understand.

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• makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  That is incredibly niche. I’m sure 99.999% of the population would not know what that is, were it happening to them.

  I mean, how many names of dead trans people would the general person on the street know?

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  • Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    It’s not specifically of dead trans people, they meant of all trans people. The term deadname typically refers to the birth name of a trans person that they no longer use.

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    • ieatpillowtags@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Yeah he’s not asking that question in good faith.

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      • Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Oh… I’m not very good at determining if people are, so I tend to treat everyone like they are asking in good faith. Maybe at least someone else will see my comment and find it useful I hope.

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    • Holyginz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      It’s just some edgy troll thinking they are being clever

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    • makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Thank you for the clarification. Yes, I can see that the person I replied to has now edited their comment also be more specific. It literally read as though they meant someone who was literally dead, and was trans, which made absolutely zero sense.

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  • Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    That is incredibly niche.

    No, that’s you thinking you’re funny when you troll so poorly.

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    • makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      No, the person I replied to has simply edited their comment to be clearer. They originally wrote it as though they meant a literal dead person.

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      • subignition@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        The only thing I added was the first parenthetical to clarify that "dead name" was the term for the former name.

        Reading "the former name of a (typically trans) person" as "the name of a deceased trans person" is still on you :/

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  • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Let’s say you knew someone named Bob, who later came out as a trans woman named Sue. If you insisted on calling her Bob instead of Sue, that would be deadnaming.

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    • makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Excellent description. Thank you for the clarity. That makes more sense.

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