Comment on Real Facebook ad that doubles as a god-tier shitpost

• usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  anti woke coffee

  Decaf?

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  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Extra slave labor.

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  • CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Buh dum tssss

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• kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’m gonna make some tooth brushes in two marginally different styles and sell one in rainbow and various LGBT flag patterns for the left and sell the other in camo, thin blue line flag and gun metal grey patterns for the right. Market the hell out of both of them based solely on being ideologically polarized to those each side hates. Milk everyone on both sides of their cash. And when they finally inevitably find out that they’re both produced by the same company, I’ll gamify it, posting weekly sales totals for each line and promising 20% of the profits at the end of the year get donated the a non-profit supported by the winning side. Let them fight each other by paying me. Also, no matter how overwhelming one side was actually winning, my posts would always indicate that it is a really close race, so that if just a few more people bought them, it might make a big difference.

  That’s all bullshit, I’d never do that because I’m but a mine. But dozens of Libertarian sociopaths are taking notes right now.

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  • Cryophilia@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I’d never do that because it sounds like a lot of work and you’d probably just get bought out or run out of business by Colgate or the other big companies.

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  • brbposting@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    LOL monster

    …profitable monster… the most cunning ones are

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• Gullible@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  What’s woke coffee? Every coffee joint I can think of, diners and artisanal shops excluded, are the union bustingest, republican donatingest, fair weather friends in the world.

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  • LucasWaffyWaf@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Black Rifle coffee, I’m assuming. The American coffee with guns on the cans.

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    • blindbunny@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Kyle rittenhouse’s coffee of choice!

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      • Asidonhopo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        I actually bought a bag of their beans after they publically distanced themselves from him. It wasn’t bad I guess, nothing spectacular. Although I’m giving up coffee slowly, probably wont buy another bag.

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  • T00l_shed@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Caffienated coffee should be woke 😂

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  • CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Starbucks goes pretty left. Shops generally speaking idk i think you’re right…now the roasters, the bean brokers, the plantations…I’ve seen bits of left ideology here & there. The main thing I care about is: can you make a good bean? Does it taste good? There was one bean out of Africa, had all this FairTrade feel-good stuff behind it. Tasted a cup of the brew & I’m like…pack it up, boys. This isn’t even good coffee. ¯\(°_o)/¯

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    • Gullible@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Starbucks is the poster boy for saying one thing and doing another. Their marketing and damage control cost less than accepting employee demands.

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      • CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Oh idk about all of that. I don’t go to Charbucks unless I have to. I do know this: holy shit they have some good benefits for their employees. I think they pay well for schooling, and I know for a fact a young man quit his job at a lumberyard to become a Starbucks barista. Why? Among other things, to get good healthcare for his entire fucking family. By being a Starbucks barista!

        …it doesn’t really make sense to me, either, but he did what he had to do & seemed generally happy with the arrangement.

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• niktemadur@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  anti-woke coffee made by A.I. on the blockchain

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• T00l_shed@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I knew it wasn’t. But I was holding out for the tiniest sliver of hope.

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