I sacrificed a lot for someone who hurt me for over 8 years, in varying ways. I grew up abused and it set me up for abuse later on because I had no idea what was normal. I almost had a kid with the cunt (thank fuck I made my own money and bought a plan b pill).
But I would never let myself do that again. I know so much more now, about people, the world, and right and wrong. I got extremely lucky my one-night-stand turned out to be my person. Weâre better together than we are separately. But if I hadnât of met my current partner, I think Iâd still be single after leaving my ex. Dating seems so dangerous now for vagina-owners (what with the tater-tots and âalphaâ male shite).
Iâd never change myself ever again for another person. Iâd compromise (like quitting smoking), but not on the big things (buying a house, having kids, etc).
PeelerSheila@aussie.zone â¨4⊠â¨months⊠ago
If this stage in life is not conducive to a relationship, or is pleasant enough without one, then youâre under no obligation to have one, regardless of the opinions of family and friends. I have a lot of regrets over how little time of my younger life Iâve really lived for me.
Otherwise, I think the important thing is to find someone who wants the same as you, no matter what that is. If youâre a âmeet in the middle,â compromising person then itâs important that the person youâre with also has those qualities, or youâll find youâre always the one having to be flexible, and may end up feeling taken advantage of. If youâre an individualist who wants to have a lot of independence and âroom to moveâ within a relationship, and canât bear the thought of âliving in someone elseâs pocketsâ then itâs vital to live true to that while thatâs how your life is. A couple of friends of mine are very career forward people, spend a lot of time separate from each other due to the demands of their careers, but undeniably love and respect each other and arenât clingy. How do you know how itâs going to be with someone? You donât always, or you think you know people but then they change, or you find out things you didnât know. The arrival of children can complicate things that before seemed much simpler and more straightforward.