I had a friend like you once, if he was into a woman there was guaranteed something dreadfully wrong with her. Like this was an actual conversation:

Friend (excited): I just started seeing her, she’s amazing! The best thing that’s ever happened to me! Me: Dude, the last to girlfriends you said that about ended up in jail. Friend: No it’s different this time, she’s cool! She’s a gamer, we like the same music, she’s super chill. Me: Ok dude, I’m happy for you.

Two weeks later Me: Dude, you ok? You look pretty down. Friend: My girlfriend likes to get into throw down drunken brawls with strangers every weekend.

But this friend was also a weirdness magnet in general.