Does he at least acknowledge something is different or is he insisting sheâs the same as always? Thatâs such a difficult situation, the mood swings would be hard to see, especially being accused of the complete opposite
Comment on Discussion Thread đŽ Tuesday 15 September 2026
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
ughâŚ
Parent issues here too atm.
Couple of days ago Pâs got back from an 8 day trip up north. As expected olâ girl didnât eat much. I fought pretty hard for them to take soup up (only thing substantial she can eat) which they reluctantly did. Chucked her on the scales (with a few arguments along the way) down 4kgs.
Massive meltdown accusing me of trying to âget rid of herâ and âyouâre trying to kill meâ. Wild mood swings.
Anyway so Iâm down the beach atm (theyâre in melbs) and have fired off an email to olâ boy (who is very controlling of health related things) that I wonât be back to help unless she gets a neurological assessment to see what exactly is going on as a lot of this is increasingly uncharacteristic. But for some reason he wonât do it. It should have been done a while ago.
The problem is (as usual with that generation) sheâs expected to cook for him (when Iâm not there). Did a huge batch of soup when they got back so sheâs all good, but she is a shadow of her former self in the kitchen these days and thereâs more risk of something going wrong (hot things etc.).
So Iâve unplugged the homephone and turned off the mobile, day 3 now. Never done this before. Usually there are calls daily. Iâm effectively leaving her âhigh and dryâ which Iâve been accused of too many times to count when Iâm not there.
Thereâll be a lot of resentment.
I am trying to force olâ boys hand in finally getting that assessment so we all have some sort of understanding what this decline (itâs non-amnestic so a bit unusual, and not reversing) is and how to better manage it (which I think is fair). There may be a better way to manage this but just donât know without a neuro assessment.
Gentle suggestion hasnât worked, arguments havenât worked so Iâm choosing complete absence no contact until he pulls his head out of his arse.
Whether Iâm doing this correctly I have no idea.
Theyâre going to see this as very spiteful, and it will create a lot of stress.
But I will have to make a decision in the next few whether to stick to my guns, or head back and resume normal programming.
This might get ugleee đ
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Pilk@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
What a stubborn old coot. Gotta be one of the worst qualities to develop in later life (looking at you, mother). May we all break the cycle.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
stubborn
Yep, both are.
Still donât know if Iâm doing the right thing though as it is adding risk. But getting that assessment could reduce it.
Iâve failed in finding middle ground and this a:
StudChud@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Hey sometimes it has to be done. Canât help someone who doesnât want it (your dad I mean), and sometimes going AWOL/no contact is the only way to force their hand, or at least give you a bit of peace.
I had to do it with my mum, when she developed schizophrenia and refused medication or therapy (apparently tarot cards and crystals are better)
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Youâve done everything you can to keep her safe, but if you have to withdraw for your own sake then youâre right to do so
Seagoon_@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Massive meltdown accusing me of trying to âget rid of herâ and âyouâre trying to kill meâ. Wild mood swings.
before you do or say anything explain exactly what you are doing and why in simple terms. Say it all in your fatherâs presence. Directly ask his opinion and ask why he thinks and does that.
Theyâre going to see this as very spiteful,
this is just sad, Iâm so sorry
You could challenge them publicly, ask them to write a list of all the âhorribleâ things you have done, because they canât
youâve got to get your sibs in on this
even if they do nothing the least they can do is back you up
if she wasnât old I would say itâs anorexia/eating disorder and an act of defiance and trying to control her environment and other people
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Eeep. I think you are right about the potential trajectory. I also think that the assessment really really needs to be done. No âcorrectâ options here. Hang in there.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Iâm sorry youâre stuck in the middle. Thatâs a shitty position to be in. đŤâ¤ď¸
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
First. Hugs.
Second - take or leave this but when I have had all the shit happening itâs been helpful to get some psychology appointment. Not hard to get a mental health plan and rebate from GPâŚand no harm in using them for simple triage of a sounding board with no skin in the game and advice as needed about (a) how to care for you in all this and (b) strategies to relate. Iâve done it more then once and itâs helpful.
Also we are here for you too