Comment on most perverted men are actually very vanilla and run away when faced with a perverted woman
hansolo@lemmy.today 2 days agoSame. 100% same.
A friend thought she was edgy to throw rimming in a “never have I ever” as if it defined kink. Awww… Sweetie, that’s cute.
pootzapie@lemmy.world 2 days ago
No shade intended but for my own curiosity what’s like a normal kinky thing or a very kinky thing? Ty
VirtigoMommy@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Kink is weird. There are some things that are considered kinky but aren’t super kinky (biting, feet, degradation/praise, ect) that come natural to me and can be done with anyone if the vibe is right. Then there are kinky kinks that are a little less common and require more trust and familiarity.
Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while I’m blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.
ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
I’ve never liked CNC. Feels more like masturbation with a safety officer. Prefer those kinds of tools be operated manually.
punkcoder@lemmy.world 2 days ago
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VirtigoMommy@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
To each their own, masturbation doesn’t do it for me personally
blarghly@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Idk, I feel like these are still pretty vanilla. At least as far as the people in this thread are saying “I’m soooo kinky”.
Of course, this is all the societal hedonic treadmill in kink. All kink becomes vanilla eventually. But at this point I feel like it isn’t “real” kink unless it makes me queasy or say “what the fuck?” Like, furries, pet play, shit, piss, vomit, blood, asphyxiation, and sounding are “real” kink to me. Anything that boils down to basically “you’re in charge of me” or “you inflict pain on me” is pretty vanilla.
And then I’ve heard of being set on fire and sensory deprivation, which seems less like a kink and more like a silly experience / party trick
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
hot
VirtigoMommy@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I think it’s jaded to consider ddlg or cnc vanilla but idk man. I’m not here to gatekeep what is or isn’t kinky enough to be kinky, I’m just positing the model of distinction to be things that could be achieved with with a stranger through simple body language, and things that require more intent / communication/ set up to be achieved.
Being set on fire, feels more fetishistic / excentrism than kink to me but I’m not Mr Webster so idk.
Semester3383@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Shibari is normal for me. That’s just my jam. Not into impact, blood, not super into choking, but can do it more-or-less safely if that’s what my partner enjoys receiving. No shit or piss (technically squirting is mostly pee, but somehow that’s okay). I like tying a partner up, blindfolding them, and then alternating between soft/erotic touch and riding crop/paddle/etc. Or tickling, but that’s one is a bit risky, since I had a partner that nearly dislocated a shoulder straining at the ropes. Feet are meh, biting is okay, wax seems like a pain to clean up.
Had a partner that really wanted to be ‘abducted’ and ‘raped’; never got around to it before we broke up. It would have been risky in a big city, but still…
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Iv seen rape play go about as wrong as it can and now I absolutely fucking hate the idea of any form of power dynamic that can be abused.
To be short, a good friend ended up having a girl convince him to tie her up and “rape” her. She arranged to have a friend show up and call the cops.
Ruined his entirely life. He’s still in jail from it. They had dated for a bit over a year and till then I had thought they were a great couple. She just turned out to be a raging fucking cunt who wanted all his shit.
Fucking stole everything from him basically.
Swear to God it feels like the only reason she got away with it is she was white and he was black.
Chaotic_Altruist@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
Had a girl pull out a full set of knives for “scraping and light cutting”. Never been more scaroused
I’d say three ways are pretty common, but trains and glory holes and the like get pretty kinky imo
Definitely goes much further down the rabbit hole but I’ve not gone that deep
titanicx@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
Fuck I’m using that term from now on. One of my girls loves knife play, and, well so much more.
hansolo@lemmy.today 2 days ago
Normal kinky is whatever you like that’s a step or two beyond vanilla missionary stuff. Intentional, deliberate stuff that requires a bit of trust. Or, at least, willingness to try something. Could be rimming or other butt stuff. Could be dressing up or light role play. Dirty talk. Threesomes. Spanking. Things like that. Things that most couples might try one or twice to satisfy curiosity.
Very kinky requires a lot of trust. Bondage. Knives. Group situations. Hugely demeaning public stunts. Glory holes. It’s consensual teamwork toward a deep, psychological goal.
rapchee@lemmy.world 2 days ago
i really don’t like “knives” in there
hansolo@lemmy.today 2 days ago
And yet, the people into it are all about it. Don’t yuck their yum. And it’s more of a scraping and almost-but-not cutting thing. Usually.
I’ve seen it done in an up close private performance. 100% not for me personally, but seeing it happen, hearing the scraping, seeing the woman go wild for it was amazing. I respect the discipline needed to do it right.