That’s tautological. Of course “doing X in relationship model where X isn’t considered cheating” is not considered cheating
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erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
it’s not cheating if I’m poly and my gfs are into it
flying_sheep@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 months ago
this, honestly, monogamy is creepy. Only I’m allowed access to your body!!! My concent overrides my partners concent when it comes to her body.
Tf is that?
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db2@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Quality shitpost reply, I think people forget what community they’re in here.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 months ago
sadly, not a shitpost, I see monogamy as unethical. relationships aren’t sports, aren’t property, you cannot “cheat” to win, it makes no sense.
lying is a problem.
if my partner came from a conference and told me she got railed by half the conference attendants I’ll be glad she enjoyed herself. and if she wouldn’t trust me to tell the truth it means there was no relationship to begin with as there’s no trust.
no idea why most people are obsessed with controlling their partners genitals.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
How is consensual monogamy unethical?
Like really, you seem to genuinely hold the opinion you do, please explain to me how two people mutually agreeing to trust, support, love and fuck just each other … how is that unethical?
Yes, of course historically the concept is full of examples of other practices that get attached to it that are definitely harmful and bad.
Yes, there absolutely are a good deal of people who force monogamy on others as a means of control, who are hypocrites that don’t even follow the same rules or standards they impose on others.
But how is it inherently unethical for a fair and mutual relationship between just two people to exist?
Some people are into open relationships, ENM, polycules, just being a single stud or unicorn, etc.
Some people, arguably most people, either strongly prefer or can only emotionally handle having a single serious romantic relationship with one other person at a time.
The entire thing about cheating in a monogamous relationship is that it is lying, it is a massive breach of trust and respect.
If everyone involved is informed and onboard with expanding the relationship, that’s one thing… cheating is another.
For quite a lot of people, its not primarily that they want to posses or control their partner’s genitals.
Its that they want to be able to very thoroughly trust and relate to a single other person, to be the sole person that their partner also sees that way.
For these kinds of people, if their partner asked to open up the relationship, and they weren’t comfortable with it, they’re totally able to just realize at that point that their partner doesn’t want what they want, and just end the monogamous relationship, let their now former partner go pursue what they want.
So… how is this unethical?
db2@lemmy.world 2 months ago
In that case I rescind my vote. Also 🖕
basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
It doesn’t, but everybody is free to decide whether, how and when they wanna have sex with a person again. For example not having (unprotected penetrative) sex for one to four months could be a response to a partner having (unprotected penetrative) sex with somebody they didn’t know. That’s already a more open minded approach.
You cheat if you have an agreement and you break it. That’s pretty much it. That can also happen with poly.
You can have agreements to make it easier/safer to have unprotected or messy sex.
The main reasons are probably offsprings and STIs. One is how invested a person will or has to be if a pregnancy was to happen. The other is about condoms, prevention, testing and so forth. It’s also easier to judge if you only have to consider one or a low amount of people. (Not that I’ve ever had sex.)
tutter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
It’s interesting you say you dent get why people are so obsessed with other people’s genitals, when you seemingly care very much about he supposed unethicalness of other adults consentual sex lives. You’ve somehow managed to flip the very same ideological structure that has allowed poly people to be prosecuted historically, and just pointed that oppressive structure at monogamous folks instead. It’s in essence the very same mechanism just with the details flipped.
I think you should reflect upon that. It’s obvious from your text that there’s the same sort of disgust mechanism at play as when traditionalists prejudice poly people. It’s a failure to empathize. Some things work best for some people, and that’s okay, let them live in their way, and some other things work best for some other people, and that’s okay too, also let them live in their way.
justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Historically it’s because of heirloom. Therefore it’s often more accepted if men cheat, because you always knew who is the mom, but not who is the dad. That somehow carried on with peoples insecurities. On the other hand I can imagine that in some places the woman are happy if the guy would take care at least about one kid.
I’m also happy with my wife doing whatever, as long as she is doing it responsibly. And I know that she is.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 1 month ago
Because Sex is not like watching a movie, for entertainment.
It is a natural process you do with the mate you choose to generate offspring.
If you do it with others than your mate, it is disloyalty
halfeatenpotato@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Pls dont forget Jesus
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 1 month ago
Huh? Monogamy is remaining loyal to one person. Cheaters are scum
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Are you loyal though? are you still with your first partner ever? or have you switched at some point? do you still have to be loyal to them?
relationships change, thats normal and natural. why stay with someone because of loyalty? did you sweat an oath on your first date?
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 1 month ago
if you are not happy with your mate, inform them and break up