Comment on Is the "Gen z stare" a real thing?

alekwithak@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

• exist@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Huh maybe it’s cultural but I have totally encountered this with older people. Any time there is a ticket or info booth like at a train station, they are either staring or doing something else and I never know if I’m interrupting something. It’s the best when they fiddle with something looking very busy, and then they look at me annoyed that I’m not saying what I want from them.

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  • Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It appears the same but it’s a different thing entirely. The older people are confused because they’ve been doing $THING the same way for 30 years and now $THING has changed and they’re struggling. I think that’s natural, and also kind of agree with them, because all these “self service kiosks” that are replacing people fucking suck ass by comparison to a live human being that is capable of thinking beyond a few decision trees.

    The thing being talked about here is where people take jobs working customer service, where 50% of their job is to be a resource to the customers coming in that may have questions or need assistance, but are annoyed that they’re being asked to be a resource to the customers coming in because who fuckin knows why, and are displaying their annoyance by not being a resource to the customers coming in and staring at them like somehow they’re at fault for being a customer ruining their day for walking through the door.

    So what if there are signs on the ceiling that say “Restrooms”? If someone in their 70s comes in and asks where the restrooms are, why is that so bothersome? I mean, if that’s the hardest thing you’re dealing with in your day to day count yourself lucky because kid, it ain’t gonna get any easier as you get older, not by a fuckin longshot.

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• Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Thank you! This is the part I cannot stand. If you want to sit and blink at me on the bus when I ask if the seat next to you is taken, hey, fair enough, Ill just sit down then and fuck you, I was just asking to be nice but aint no one sitting in it and you didnt open your mouth so now Im sitting in it and you can process that however you need to, not my problem.

  But when Im at the store and ask where the paper towels are so I dont have to spend 20 minutes walking through a building that covers 40 acres, and get nothing but a dead ass stare, thats fucking ridiculous. Is having to point to an aisle really such a hardship that mentally it causes you to lockup?

  Honestly I think this comes down to a lack of socialization. People arent learning how to function in social situations that arent curated for them ahead of time anymore and simply do not know how to communicate properly with strangers. Which is understandable, of course, but where it falls apart is when you willingly take a job to be in that position and then dont want to do what the job entails.

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• BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Unless you are literally a child there is no reason for the person at the counter to greet you or ask how they can help, put on your big boy pants and just tell them what you need and move on, everyone is busy and no one has time to make you feel special, have your order prepared before getting to the counter, just say Hi can I have xyz and they will get it done, that’s all the conversation that needs to happen.

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  • roscoe@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    First, I’ve never noticed this “Gen z stare” thing, but you do need something when you walk up to a customer service person. Looking up at me, a little nod, something to let me know you’re ready for me to start the interaction and I’m not interrupting.

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    • Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That’s what blows my mind with that specific argument…that people hesitate before just talking because it’s considerate. I appreciate it when Im in the middle of composing an email and the person standing at the door to my office gives me a second to finish the sentence Im writing. Im sure the people that are standing behind the counter have similarly been doing something that requires concentration and appreciated that someone gave them a minute to get to a stopping point before taking their attention away from it.

      How the blue fuck that could ever be interpreted as “stupid” or “annoying” is completely beyond my understanding. Or how we’re just waiting for someone to say “Oh hi” or “Ill be right with you” or “Can I help you with something?” before interrupting their work is somehow, in itself, worthy of being treated the same as if you just came in dropping F bombs screaming at them.

      So I guess that’s the disconnect for me…how they literally cannot see the difference between a bog-standard customer service type of interaction and someone legitimately being an asshole to them. To them, they are both equivalent. Anything that involves them interacting with someone they don’t feel like interacting with is some sort of slight or imposition. It’s totally fine to be that way in your personal life, but not when you’re standing at the fucking information kiosk at the hospital, being paid to work at the information kiosk at the hospital, where your job is…wait for it…providing information to people that come to you at the fucking hospital.

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  • chilicheeselies@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Im sorry but thats just not normal unless you are neurodivergent. We’re not robots. Honestly something is wrong if you dont even have mirror facial expressions.

    I get dissasociating from a rude customer, but i ja e gotten that stare from a simple ass “hey hows it goin”.

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    • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hey how’s it going is just an empty phrase that means Hi, you should not expect any response to that other than a hi back at most, unless you actually want to know how they are doing, and the answer to that is they are tired and miserable, which you would know if you ever worked a customer facing minimum wage retail job before. Just because people don’t have the energy for your bullshit doesn’t mean they are neurodivergent. In many other countries where employees aren’t forced to plaster a smile on their face the interaction won’t be anymore then this either.

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      • Warl0k3@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        you should not expect any response to that other than a hi back

        Yes, exactly. Everyone knows it’s a pointless platitude, the goal is to get an acknowledgement in response that you can further the interaction. When you don’t get that response it’s a problem - you don’t know if they’re busy, and the vast majority of people don’t want to be rude by just launching into your order (or whatever) just expecting them to be ready for it.

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      • Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just because people don’t have the energy for your bullshit doesn’t mean they are neurodivergent.

        Uh, actually, it kinda does mean that, because the vast majority of people aren’t so exhausted by responding to “Hey, hows it going?” with a normal, human response that they not only completely opt out of doing it but then go on the internet and complain about how unfair it is that they’re expected to behave in line with what is defined as ‘the norm’.

        Here’s the questions you need to ask yourself: Why do I feel like being asked to engage with a person that is asking a normal question is equivalent to being forced to engage with someone that is treating me poorly? Why am I seemingly unable to separate the two, and conflate participating in social niceties with being abused? Why is the social equivalent of a papercut and a shotgun blast to the face the same in my eyes, and why do both generate a similar response.

        But whatever you do, if you can’t handle being expected to respond to “hey hows it going?” with some variation of “not bad, you?”, for the love of Christ, please don’t willingly seek out employment where a key facet of the job is doing just that, or at the very least if you do, save the blinking and acting like Im inconveniencing you for asking a normal-ass question like “Is this the line to pay?”

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      • alekwithak@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Genuinely what is the proper response to ‘hey, how’s it going?’ Because that is not normal where I grew up but it’s normal where I live now and I always respond with something like “good, you?” Unless I know the person, which is obviously wrong because half the time I get no response lol HELP

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  • traxex@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Lmao what? You are saying the person put specifically in a position to ask me how they can help me, or say hello, or just have a normal human interaction isn’t required to do that if I’m an adult? Wild.

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    • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m not saying there should be no acknowledgement of someone, but a simple hello or hi or even a head nod is enough. Stop expecting people to put on a fake smile and make small talk to make you feel good about yourself

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      • traxex@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I don’t go to the cashier to make small talk and I don’t really think too many people expect that either.

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  • Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    There is a huge reason for the person at the counter to greet you or ask how they can help: *thats the fucking job".

    I find it ironic that you’re throwing out lines like “big boy pants” when you could also do the same and get a job where you dont have to work customer service…you know, put on your big boy pants…and go get a job that doesnt require you to be a human facing.

    “God I cant stand the smell of cooking meat!!”

    “Then why do you work at McDonalds?”

    “Stop being microaggressive!”

    “But there are lots of other jobs out there where they dont cook meat, why not take one of those instead?”

    “NO! Why should I have to change? McDonalds should change! And until they do, im going to bitch and complain every chance I get.”

    “Oh, uh…okay, good luck with that I guess”

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    • BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I stopped working retail a long time ago and the fact that you think people in certain jobs are worth less than you and should suck up and deal with shitty behavior speaks volumes about what kind of a person you are

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      • Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Never said that. I worked retail for twenty years, dude. I went back to college in my mid 30s.

        I know what the job is. I know what the expectations are. You need to examine why you consider both “Hey, can you help me find something?” and “You’re worthless to me and I don’t care about you” are equivalent in your mind, because that is the shit people are complaining about.

        Nobody is telling retail employees they need to take abuse. What we’re telling retail employees is, being asked to assist a customer in itself does not constitute abuse, so please, hold the ire when I come to the customer service desk, the place that exists for that explicit purpose, and ask a simple question. That is literally what you are being paid to do.

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• traxex@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Thank fucking god a normal reply.

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• prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Sounds like poor training maybe

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  • Angrydeuce@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    To a degree, I do agree with you. However, if you are of the legal age where you are even allowed to hold a job, period, you shouldn’t have to be trained on how to interact with human beings. That training should have happened long before you came to us looking for a job. If they’re even hired in the first place, they must have demonstrated that they are capable of having a conversation or else they wouldn’t have been brought on.

    I mean really that’s the whole reason we do the interview…we don’t give a shit about their technical skills really, because that’s all stuff they will be trained on. What we give a shit about is that they’re capable of interacting with other people in a professional manner. If someone is sitting for an interview and just blinks at us whenever we ask them a question about their application, they’re not going to be offered a job. So its pretty clear that for the interview, at least, they demonstrated that they have that base skill or else I wouldn’t be training them in the first place.

    So then why the fuck is it that all those skills they demonstrated they have during the interview evaporate the minute they’re on the payroll? Like do I really have to train someone that if the phone rings at their desk, they need to answer it? That if they receive a direct email from someone, they need to respond to it? That if someone asks them a question, they need to answer, and not just stare at them?

    I can teach people the technical shit all day long, and literally do it all day long. But I should not have to teach them that a ringing telephone needs to be answered, especially if the job they were hired to do was, in part, answering the fucking phone. And there are people out there that still think that I should have to do that, or worse, that Im the jerk for expecting it in the first place. Just such a fuckin clown show all around.

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    • sudoer777@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      However, if you are of the legal age where you are even allowed to hold a job, period, you shouldn’t have to be trained on how to interact with human beings. That training should have happened long before you came to us looking for a job.

      The education system doesn’t teach shit on how to interact with human beings though, and even heavily discourages it by making it about individual skill and competing for the highest scores. Then throws them into the real world that functions completely different than what it teaches and floods people with various things that demand attention but giving attention to all at once isn’t possible and a lot of it is bullshit anyways. Everything becoming a suburban hellscape where you need a car and parental consent to do anything and stuff being increasingly age restricted doesn’t help either. Meanwhile everyone still needs a paycheck whether they have those skills or not.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think it’s that they lack environmental awareness because they are so used to staring into a screen all day.

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