Photon < Quantum < RECTUM TORPEDOS (or rectal, if you prefer)
Comment on MEGA FLAG
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 12 hours agowhy there are no toilets on any federation ships
No way, half the time JLP says he’ll be in his ready room he means he’s heading to the porcelain captain’s chair to fire off some earl grey torpedoes.
In the future you can choose to deuce the traditional way or have it beamed directly out of your colon, and Picard loves his photon bombing rituals.
MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 12 hours ago
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
I’ve held that theory for years. that due to teleport tech, people no money need toilets, as urine and fecal matter gets teleported out.
And part of Starfleet training involves potty training, where they have to train on how urinate/defecate during away missions.
mycodesucks@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Image
Why would Picard bother when his ready room has his own private toilet?
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 2 hours ago
He should have a little door that slides open and lets him see the fishes when he’s pooping, and then closed again to hide the head when he’s not using it.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Do teleported urine and feces leave vacuum behind? Because that would mean massive cavitation bubbles in both the bladder and the rectum, immediately collapsing with a loud bang and a momentary increase in temperature over 100°C.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works 8 hours ago
The transported feces is replaced with whatever the crewmember desires. In Picard’s case, Tea Earl Grey Hot! Riker gets a vibrator. Troi, a particular mix of heroin and qualuudes.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Classy and tasty enema.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
maybe instead of teleporting out the entire contents of a full rectum, you teleport a ml at a time, or basically teleport every tiny bit as it enters the rectum, same with the bladder.
Honestly, teleporter tech is criminally underused in that universe.
can you teleport out co2 from the alveoli and replace with oxygen instead of needing a respirator? imagine 99% of surgeries could be done with teleport tech instead of needing to cut anything.
fuck, maybe that is how Hypospray works, and how it can inject drugs into the bloodstream without hurting the skin or the clothes they are wearing.
There is also the transporter buffer, they can put a lot of stuff in the buffer, why not use it for storage? Or maybe a brig?
One of the Abrahams movie casually made spaceships obsolete by having teleporters that can reach across the galaxy.
And those are ideas that I came up in a couple minutes of thinking.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
I’ve just thought of another consequence: if the waste is always teleported out, then the muscles of the bladder and the rectum are gonna become dystrophic, while the anal sphincter forgets how to loosen. In addition, the urinary tract might dry out for want of any moisture from the bladder.
Now imagine that one day your trusty crap teleporter breaks down. You’re stuck with urine and shit filling the bladder and the rectum, while both outlets are plugged from years of disuse and you don’t know anymore how to push the stuff out.
jaennaet@sopuli.xyz 10 hours ago
No wonder McCoy hates transporters