Is she unable or refusing? Have either of them spoken to ship staff about making some nice soft foods for her? You said itās a pretty bougie ship, can she even have miso soup? This must be super stressful dude.
Comment on Discussion Thread š« Wednesday 18 March 2026
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ7ā© āØhoursā© ago
Rant
Bugger.
Spoke to the pās on their Japan boat last night. Bit of a worry.
Turns out olā girl hasnāt been having supplements (she has all of them with her) and hasnāt had that much to eat for the first 7days. I told olā boy before they left heās going to have to lean into the food sitchā¦ and he hasnāt.
So thatās 13 days after not being to eat much due to teeth extraction before going + now 7 on the boat. FUCK ME.
If I did 20 days of eating bugger all Iād be ruined.
He honestly thought he could delegate food to the boat and leave the supplements to her. FUCKED.
Her last words on the call āI just canāt eat I donāt know what to doā. I will never forget that tone. She didnāt speak anything else about the trip.
I feel worried, frustrated, angry and just sad.
And theyāve got 10 days left not even half way through
Fuck
Sent off a detailed email to him about what he needs to do food/supplement-wise but Iām half a world away.
If he canāt get on top the food/supps sort ofā¦ todayā¦ I really donāt know what will happen.
___
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ5ā© āØhoursā© ago
Both unable and refusing and I suppose they interelate. They spoke to the head chef about requirements when they boarded so Iām confused why they canāt pull anything off. So we tried miso (i thought thatās the obvious choice too) before they left from a few different places here and that was refusal but able. Tried a whole bunch of sashimi, able for some, refusal for others.
Itās a really bougie ship. 24/7 room service. So speaking to them yesterday I asked if sheād ordered an iced coffee w/ chocolate and icecream (her usual thing she does here daily) and dump some coffee resource in (which is what usually happens here too) and no, didnāt do that. Not refusal, very able, just didnāt do it. What on earth do you do about that. grr.
StudChud@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
Iām so sorry mate. Seriously. Farked up all ways to Sunday.
Youāre doing everything you can, and more, so take some time to try to do something for the mental health.
If thereās anything we can do to help, please let us know. I may not have much but you got my listening ear and support.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ5ā© āØhoursā© ago
Thanks dude. Means a lot :)
I guess here is the only place I can talk about this. And for that have to thank you all sincerely.
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone āØ7ā© āØhoursā© ago
That would be a stress for sure. Sounds like you well informed them of all this prior to the travel. I think it comes down to their right to risk aka independence. People are allowed to make foolish decisions then experience the consequences of that. It sucks for you having to watch it, but itās their choice.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
Canāt disagree. He basically dragged her along knowing full well the difficulties w/ food, but he never took the time or interest in it. Heās done a whole lot else for her health, but some reason, and it baffles me, not food. This is on him not her.
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone āØ5ā© āØhoursā© ago
Iāve occasionally had to point out to my elderly mother - who is pretty capable still - that she needs to advocate for herself in bad situations. Mostly itās been younger people dragging her about with her bung hip then complaining to me. I recommended getting in a taxi and leaving as the solution. I could see it hadnāt even occurred to her as an option.
Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
That sounds incredibly stressful man. Iām sorry itās been so tough dealing with this. Hopefully your old man will be able to help ā¤ļø
Seagoon_@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
If your mum survives the trip and survives the weeks after they need a new way to be handled
they have to be assertively told what to do and when, even supervised
they have shown they are incapable of making choices
and your mum is asking to be told, asking to be looked after,
I suggest a home visit nurse
melbaboutown@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
Maybe this will highlight to him that she needs care. Maybe it will help them think about receiving some assistance with feeding. I have my fingers crossed for her.
More food ideas if you want them
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
I think Iāll definitely need them for when sheās back.
melbaboutown@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
Hereās a pumpkin goat cheese and salmon soup tumblr.com/ā¦/we-made-the-soup-tonight-and-can-conā¦
Buffalo dip is a dip but could be blended and thinned as soup or served over liquidy mashed potatoes www.recipetineats.com/hot-buffalo-chicken-dip/
Salmon mousse is a cream cheese based spread, no idea if sheād eat it on its own but it looks calorific www.simplyrecipes.com/recipes/salmon_mousse/
Also do consider the neutral Ensure powder because it doesnāt have the sweetness or the added prebiotics that could upset her stomach. Thinking of trying that myself.
Iām so sorry youāve been pushed into a labour intensive carer role with people who canāt or wonāt comply
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ2ā© āØhoursā© ago
Thank you so much for sharing all these recipes and the ones before too. Youāve really helped out.
It was actually you who got me on to the neutral ensure a while ago! Itās been a life saver here.
SituationCake@aussie.zone āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
Rough situation. Did your mum say why she canāt eat the supplements? Does she not know how to prepare it, or doesnāt like flavour, or something else? She said she doesnāt know what to do. I think getting her to articulate specific reasons will help you all to find a solution. Sounds like your dad doesnāt really understand (or want to understand?) the seriousness of the issue. This must be a horrible feeling, knowing the one person that could help is not really engaged. Iām so sorry. I hope the call/email helps them.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ5ā© āØhoursā© ago
For her itās a fair few problems. Some of it is neurological. After her head strike 1.5yrs ago, a lot reasoning ability was lost. So asking her why she canāt is met with basically āi donāt want toā. Been happening ever since the strike. Point out that she needs to then the meltdowns begin. Ask why and yea, āstop hassling meā.
Olā boy does understand, but for some reason avoids any interest in food/supps. Heās had her along to see so many specialists over the last however longā¦ I really donāt get it. Is it a āthatā generation thing. In his line of work all of that stuff was delegated so Iām guessing thatās a reason too. But he canāt delegate out of this one. This is awful to watch. All the dude had to do was have a mild interest in it and this wouldnāt have happened or be less severe at least.
SituationCake@aussie.zone āØ4ā© āØhoursā© ago
Damn. Thatās complicated. Perhaps head injury led to some eating disorder issues like ARFID? I donāt know much about it but maybe the kinds of foods that are tolerable to people with this condition might be manageable? Chicken nuggets or ice cream or white bread and butter. I donāt know. Itās not nutritionally complete but something is better than nothing. Sounds like the boat could provide options, could be chopped up to help with teeth issue, but they are having problems asking for whatās needed? Is there a way you could arrange with the boat directly to have room service delivered daily with a selection of tolerable foods? If she doesnāt eat it, youāve done all you can.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ3ā© āØhoursā© ago
ARFID
Heaps of elements there that lineup! Itās just so complex. I feel sorry for them both really. A boat with everything you could ask for and instead of being able to just enjoy itā¦ worrying about food and nutrition. Asked her about the view and she went straight into food :(
Iāve been looking up the boats menus but theyāre sample menus. Maybe I should ask olā boy for a piccy of current ones and see which ones could work blended.
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone āØ5ā© āØhoursā© ago
First, there will be a doctor on board. The cabin crew/concierge can put them in touch. A feeding tube (maybe semi-permanent) is an option. Then liquid food can just go down the hatch and bypass the gag reflex and teeth problems.
Re the dad situation - he may be genuinely unaware of HOW to do the feeding stuff - itās previously been a nurseās job in his professional life with all the status ambiguities involved.
Imo the shipās doctor and nursing staff are the best option rn. Theyāll know what to do and probably have re-hydration supplies on hand anyway. Please tell us of any help we can give. Weāre all here for you.
melbaboutown@aussie.zone āØ5ā© āØhoursā© ago
Parenteral nutrition is also an option if an extreme one