Comment on Just reach out
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Reach out and spend wads of money on someone. Its cool he did that but this assumes this is a sustainable means of making friends and it just isn’t.
US society is simply not structured in a way for adults to naturally make friends and it verges on being outright antagonistic to making close friends.
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
lol
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
You can do nice things for people that aren’t expensive.
I think it’s cool this guy thought the theme park was such a great experience he had to share it with a stranger.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You can do nice things for people that aren’t expensive.
It is easy to say this but hard to execute. If you treat people to things that are gratis or cheap a lot of people will think you are a cheapskate or miserly. At best they’ll think you are poor which also isn’t great either, because even good people don’t want to feel like they’re potentially getting into a relationship that expects them to spend more money than the friend to go out and do things with them (unless, again, they’re rich and don’t care about spending a bunch of money).
If you dress nicely go out to hang with people but skimp out on spending money people will definitely think you are a miser or penny pincher. If you go out looking like a pauper or poor schlub people will generally just avoid you. I’ve done both.
bus_factor@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
There are other ways to interact which don’t imply treating people to things. Yes, in this case the person spent money on tickets, but he could have been on his way to any other activity and invited the person to join that. Or he could have offered the person to buy their own ticket and join.
“Hey, I’m on my way to play frisbee in the park, want to come?” – totally free.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Even if you aren’t treating people to stuff you still end up spending money. Just being out and about costs gas in the US because everything is so spread out. You get hungry and need to eat, there’s 10-20 bucks unless you’re lugging around a lunch box with you.
You want to socialize every once and a while it’ll add up. If you want to socialize consistently (which is key to establishing strong friendships or finding a significant other) you honestly need to be touching grass everyday and then it really adds up.
Also, pay attention to my words: Trying to maintain this is unsustainable in the US. I did not say it was impossible to do once in a blue moon, but that’s not really a meaningful social life. Seeing a person for an hour once every few weeks to play frisbee at the park (or equivalent activity, in my case board games) isn’t going to create a meaningful bond. Most people in my area make maybe a little over half what I make in pay at best and I can barely afford to socialize consistently. I do almost all my socializing at work and that shit doesn’t really count.
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
I think that’s a bit extreme.
My grandpa’s go to was just splitting a beer with people and having a chat. I get that beer isn’t free, but a half a can of beer is not a lot.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
In what context? His front porch?
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
He give them the first half or the second half? There’s a big difference even though it’s still half.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Have you been to a them park recently??
Brotha_Jaufrey@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Careful, they’re not ready to hear this one.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Reach out and spend wads of money on someone.
I’ve got a season pass to Six Flags, and part of the deal is getting a certain number of free “bring a friend” tickets.
Unless the guy’s treating his taxi driver to meals in the park, this outing could possibly have been free.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
I wouldn’t read it too literally. The answer isn’t treating someone to a theme park visit every time. The point is they got chatting and went with the flow. That’s what it takes. Doesn’t lead to a friendship every time but eventually it will.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The meme does not only suggest a conversation is needed. It implies money is needed. “Going with the flow” in the US TBH probably will cause the average person to spend an irresponsible amount of money. I know because I’ve done that and burned a number of holes in my wallet in pursuit of friends (and intimacy). Sure it works plenty of times, but its not sustainable unless you’ve got plenty of money to burn. Most people don’t.
bus_factor@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It doesn’t, though. He was going to an activity, met a person on the way there, and invited the person to join. Had he been on his way to a free activity the gesture would be free.
“Going with the flow” doesn’t necessarily mean “blow all your life savings”, and it’s kind of ridiculous to claim that it does. I’m sorry you seem to have been exploited by some people you were trying to connect with, but that’s not what is being encouraged here.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
The taxi driver should have said he never had his dick sucked by a passenger.
HalfSalesman@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Its a good thing that isn’t what I said.
TheSambassador@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It really doesn’t make any claims that you need money to do this. You could do this with a local park or hike.
Money helps broaden your options but isn’t required to chat with people.