Digital Renal Management
…simultaneously rolled out with Digital Rectal Management, of course.
Comment on Remember to 2FA your kidneys.
DivineDev@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
He's joking now but just wait for the inevitable cyberdystopia where HP manufacturers replacement organs.
e0qdk@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
Brings a whole new meaning to the ol’ “drink verification can” meme. The artificial kidney could scan the contents for firmware updates and stuff. Maybe it shuts off if you don’t drink one every week.
For speech readers, not sure if something this long will fit in the alt text.
(This isn’t the original text but it’s close enough to get the joke. The dates and game were different in the original. This was what some copypasta website gave me.)
-2018 -wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games -excited to play some halo 2k19 -“xbox on” -… -“XBOX ON” -"Please verify that you are “annon332” by saying “Doritos™ Dew™ it right!” -“Doritos™ Dew™ it right” -“ERROR! Please drink a verification can” -reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest -only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night -still feeling sick from the 14 -force it down and grumble out “mmmm that really hit the spot” -xbox does nothing -i attempt to smile -“Connecting to verification server” -… -“Verification complete!” -finally -boot up halo 2k19 -finding multiplayer match… -“ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!” -my mother just walked in the room -“Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?” -“NO!” -“Console entering lock state!” -“to unlock drink verification can” -last can -“WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card” -drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick -pour the last half out the window -“PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE” -the mountain dew ad plays -i have to dance for it -feeling so sick -makes me sing along -dancing and singing -“mountain dew is for me and you” -throw up on my self -throw up on my tv and entertainment system -router shorts -“ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF” -“PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE”RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
Digital Rectal Management
Bum finger as the Brits call it
isame@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
I’m going to need y’all both to step away from the lathe.
blackstampede@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Don’t care for musicals in general but this was worth watching for zydrate anatomy alone.
7bicycles@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
don’t have to wait, that’s happened already
isame@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
This should be illegal.
7bicycles@hexbear.net 3 weeks ago
may I interest you in destroying the entire concept of copyright and/or the idea that any such venture should be undertaken by a legal entitity that can just quit existing
T156@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You joke, but there are already protheses which are proprietary, and have shut down. Artificial eyes is a famous example, where the company making one shut down the product line, and blinded people who’d had it installed, due to it just shutting off.
DivineDev@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
In a good world this type of shit would be illegal. We'll need a stop killing games petition but for organs soon
echodot@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
I think that’s alcoholic anonymous
echodot@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
Why would the company shutting down brick the device? Is it calling back home for processing or something.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Cyberpunk really sucks when it’s all corpo and no chop shops.