Big day today.
Olā girl is going back home after her 3.5 week stay in hospital. Was only supposed to be 3-5 days.
After seeing her everyday, all I can say is that she really shouldnāt be (not in my control). Seeing her last night shook me a bit. Basically sheās been refusing 1/2+ the food when there and also refusing supplements (like ensure, resource etc).
Problem is after her head strike a year ago she had a TBI which has caused what they call non amnestic MCI which is a fancy way of saying impaired mind but memory still there. Problem is the only way to slow it down is food and excersise, both of which are not going to be easy.
So taking off work for a bit heading over to pās to see if this will work. Iām not fazed by doing most of the stuff for them (cooking / cleaning / washing etc), really doesnāt take much time. Olā boy will get a cleaner in probably soon.
What Iām mainly worried about is that shift in personality over the last 3 weeks.
For example last night she asked me to turn the light down because she wanted to watch TV. So I did. She said āthatās greatā, goes around to the other side of the bed and snaps at me āwhy is it so dark in here!ā. That is not her.
Iām hoping getting some food in her after basically being on a hunger strike will ease that sort of thing up, but if it doesnāt then weāre in for a ride.
Guess weāll find out.
Thank you all reading this stuff. Not exactly light and airy.
TheWitchofThornbury@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØmonthā© ago
Feels. You got this, for the moment. Look after yourself too.
personal experience
Hate to say this, but I think itās time you and your Dad got together and worked out a strategy for further cognitive decline management. You just canāt give up work to do the basic care stuff - thatās a non-continuing proposition even though it works well to look at in the short term. Iām talking trigger points for when more care is needed, and strategies to cope. And what happens if your Dad or you gets sick etc. Really really need to be on the same page. Yes this will be embarrassing to discuss. And some of the options will sound pretty cold and clinical but need to be considered. Thereās professional help available for counselling/discussing this sort of thing, and using that might help your Dad and rest of fam take this seriously enough to be useful. Hospitals/doctors/clinics have contact info - and you may need an official letter from your mumās doctor to access it. I found myself doing what I thought would be short term care for my mum, and found out that the rest of my family thought I was doing it all so they didnāt have to, and this went on for months and months. This got old very very fast and I had to really put my foot down to come up with a more equitable arrangement. Some family members still havenāt forgiven me. One siblingās spouse is still snarked that she was asked to participate (minimally) and that was more than 10 years ago. Eventually Mum had to go into full time residential care and she HATED it. But there was no other viable option that permitted the rest of the family to have some kind of a life. End of life can be very distressing to all when its long drawn out and thereās no possibility of major improvement and a return to full independence. Just saying.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØmonthā© ago
Thankyou so much for your personal experience. Really appreciate that advice. i think Iāll get the ball rolling on that fairly soon.
melbaboutown@aussie.zone āØ1ā© āØmonthā© ago
This.
I was in a very similar position except I didnāt have any say around making alternative arrangements.