Now the 19 year old part… Yikes.
Yeah imagine an adult woman making decisions about her own life. Truely YIKES! I tap my fedora to your wisdom, dear wholesome reddit stranger.
Comment on [deleted]
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Up until 19-year-old, I am fine with it.
If you are approaching pension anyway and you need to reorganize your life, why not move to somewhere warmer and cheaper, it is not like the job market for 50+yo is amazing. And if you live there anyway, why can’t you love someone local? (Also you are technically giving wealth back to countries that have been exploited)
Now the 19 year old part… Yikes.
Also to be considered financial dependency, you don’t want to chain your partner onto you with the threat of huge quality of life loss.
Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 1 week ago
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
I am sorry that your understanding of the issue is solely limited to the ability to consent of a person and not the nature of the consent and the underlaying dynamics of such a relationship.
and adult or not, at 19yo most people don’t know the chains of adulthood and the dangers of dependencies. A 50+yo certainly does. If I am in an environment that my partner is familiar with, I expect my partner to care for me and look out for my interest. E.g. my gf’s culture has a very different understanding of what spicy means, I can eat real mala but some of their stuff is just way to spicy for me. She warns me. The 50+yo is the person familiar with the environment in the context of dependencies. They carry a responsibility towards their partner if it is real love. engaging in such a relationship could be an indicator that they take advantage of their partner lack of knowledge/experience or that they don’t know any better and at 50+yo, both are yikes.
Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 1 week ago
that they take advantage of their partner lack of knowledge/experience or that they don’t know any better and at 50+yo, both are yikes.
but you know that it usually is neither of those two, right? (if not big mega yikes on you)
mostly those women are only in it for the money, so where’s the problem?
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Oh boy! You serious? I said if it is real love and:
We need to make the difference between what each person thinks.
Let’s say, person A is 50+ yo and person B is 19yo.
If A doesn’t love B and B doesn’t live A, A is just getting a prostitute. And that can be judged for all the reasons, you can judge that for. And personally, I think using the service of a sex worker is yikes.
If A doesn’t love B and B loves A, then it is obvious why it is abusive and yikes.
If A loves B and B doesn’t love A, because B is in it for the money, A is doing what you quoted and B is taking advantage too but without necessarily knowing what that could mean down the line.
If A loves B and B loves A, A is doing what you quoted.
As I said in my comment, if it is real love, meaning of the side of A as I was judging his behavior, what I said remains true.
Thanks for showing us that you aren’t willing to think about the topic in detail. I will take that as a sign to end the conversation. Have a great day and try thinking about it.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
You’re old, single, horny and financially solvent. Why would you not want a 20 year old live in maid / fucktoy? You have no fucks left to give what anyone thinks, the girl is okay with it, so why not enjoy your last years? Transactional relationships are common all around the world.
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 1 week ago
But on the other hand, why wouldn’t I want the person I have sex with to have a similar amount of life experience so we can have more interesting conversations?
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 week ago
Older does not always equal more interesting.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 1 week ago
Personally I’d want a partner more than a 20something fuckservant as well, but I can definitely see the appeal for horny old dudes with too much money. That also somewhat ignorantly precludes the likely possibility that the young woman has more to offer than her body though, which I’d think is quite likely in reality.
FauxLiving@lemmy.world 1 week ago
Social media users love to clutch their pearls.
Treating it like it’s exploitative let’s them get their little dose of outrage, it doesn’t matter if it matches reality or not.
Despite the fact that, as you pointed out, to do so often requires that they assume some pretty offensive things (like, “a 19-20 year old is only good for sex and housework”).
exasperation@lemm.ee 1 week ago
I wonder how much of it is horny old dudes and how much is actually lonely old dudes. These types of arrangements, somewhere in the gray area between transactional paid sex work and companionship between equal partners might not satisfy the loneliness part of the equation.
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
Well, personally I think that working in sex work is totally fine, but using the service is morally questionable. I believe that there are people who want to work in sex work, but I also believe that people who are in it out of desperation. These people will lie about their motivation because people who care to ask don’t want to if the motivation is desperation. And so you can’t know if you are just using a service that someone willing provide, or a service that is motivated by desperation. I don’t want to use a service powered by desperation, especially when it is something like sex work.
krashmo@lemmy.world 1 week ago
My man, almost every worker you have ever interacted with is doing that job out of desperation. That doesn’t stop you in every other case so why choose this issue to start being concerned about their motivations?
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
It is fun how you ignore parts of my message. And i don’t think we talk about the same kind of desperation.
If you are human trafficking and you might get killed if you don’t earn enough money for your pimp, is not the same kind of desperation than what someone feels when they look at their account and see that they only have money for 1 month rent.
i have no interest to discuss what kind of desperation is or is not fine to abuse. Or what kind of desperation could possibly motivate someone to do anything.
In case, you are wondering what you are ignoring. 1. I don’t want, not I don’t. I need to eat, I don’t need to fuck a sex worker. 2. I said especially something like sex work, highlighting that I have a different set of rules for different kinds of stuff.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 1 week ago
That’s why there are escorts, but I see your point.