Brainsploosh
@Brainsploosh@lemmy.world
- Comment on I want a boyfriend, but I feel like I don't deserve to have one, and I keep alternating between those two thoughts which is making me feel confused. Is this normal? 2 days ago:
First of all, I’m impressed you’re reaching out for other perspectives. It’s far too easy to get stuck with your thoughts beating down on yourself.
Something therapists often train you to ask is “are there external reasons for those thoughts?”, as thoughts come and go much of their own volition, that’s just how brains do. Sometimes there’s good reason for thoughts, a lot of the time it’s just “what-ifs”.
It sounds to me that there are multiple layers to your story. Saying you feel like you don’t deserve someone as well as the ruminating self doubt sounds over such a long time sounds like Major Depression. It’s a nasty thing that makes a lot of other things harder, medication and therapy usually make things easier so that you have the resources to affect whatever else you’d like to affect.
If medical attention isn’t available where you’re at, you’re still gonna have to adress those issues, it’s just going to be harder. You will need a way to get out of ruts, set strengthening habits, build and use a support network, and learn to manage the depression. Again, all to free up resources to address the rest.
A lot happens within us when we lose a partner, and even more when we survive one. Maybe some of the self doubt comes from that, maybe from how you were coping, maybe from feeling down for an extended time, maybe something else. Therapists are trained in talking through these things, but journalling and talking to friends can also help. One tool is to aim to understand your feelings and with compassion accept that you felt and did as best you could, you can easily find others.
As for the sexuality thing - depression does weird things both to self image, libido, and sexuality. I had a bit similar experience to your’s where I found no attraction or lust, but as I got better a lot came back (and some things changed).
On the off chance that it’s actually not just depression messing, I’ll mention that sexuality is a complex thing and it’s common to have thoughts and feelings about it, just as it changes and develops with time, people, situations, etc.
It’s entirely possible to be attracted and sexrepulsed, sometimes it’s helpful to split attraction for different aspects. You could be aesthetically attracted to someone who appeals on looks, or you could be romantically attracted to someone you’d like to court (or be courted by), beyond sexually attracted by someone you want to share bodyparts with you, some people will tick multiple attractions (including ones not mentioned here). With some forethought and clear communication, it’s entirely possible to build long term relationships around all combinations of these, and crucially without one or more of these.
I would agree that genitals are gross and weird, but then again I like doing stuff to them on people I’d like to share pleasure with. As someone else mentioned, I would never enjoy handling my own genitals the way others seem to enjoy immensely, and vice versa. Beyond basic hygiene (wash with water, let dry, keep clean of litter), that’s just how genitals are.
Then there’s also contrasts between being repulsed by the thought, not understanding, and not wanting to stimulate such genitals. All are valid, and with a little insight you might live happily with where you’re comfortable. If the thought of someone handling your genitals repulses you, maybe don’t do that and make sure to choose a partner that accepts that. If you don’t want to stimulate someone with similar genitals, you’re encouraged not to, it’s common enough to be called “straight”. If you don’t understand but you’re fine with someone enjoying your genitals, choose someone you enjoy enjoying you.
In the spirit of pride month you might have access to resources for the terms ace/asexual, aro/aromantic, gray/graysexual, RA/relationship anarchy, heterosexuality, situational sexuality, reproductive health.
- Comment on I want a boyfriend, but I feel like I don't deserve to have one, and I keep alternating between those two thoughts which is making me feel confused. Is this normal? 2 days ago:
Could it be vitamin D from the sun?
- Comment on It's not supposed to make sense... 6 days ago:
Thank you for your answer!
Maybe I’m too dense, but what happens with other quantum states that aren’t position/velocity based? I’m thinking things like when we collapse spin, e.g. in entangled particles.
I’ve heard that entangled particles are “one use”, I’d assume they can be restored and possibly re-entangled, but how?
- Comment on It's not supposed to make sense... 6 days ago:
Honest question: what happens afterwards? When we’ve stopped observing, does it reassemble into it’s superpositive form? Are we depleting quantum states somehow?
- Comment on Wise words 1 week ago:
You can say stupid on Lemmy
- Comment on Got some more folks?? 2 weeks ago:
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick
- Comment on Papa I'm scared 4 weeks ago:
“You are what you eat” the Blue Fairy’s wisdom echoed, as Pinocchios gaze turned towards the elementary school.
- Comment on Father Whose Son Was Shot by Cincinnati Police Hits Deputy With Car, Killing Him 1 month ago:
Of course there’s tragedy all around in this situation, this is neither the first or last example of dysfunctional law enforcement.
In a first step, maybe the son was in a stolen vehicle. Maybe they were running away. Neither is an offence tied with a death penalty, and especially not without trial. What if they’d been kidnapped or coerced?
Now to the tricky part, with media telling of people disappearing in the streets, or just increasing violence, being armed isn’t unreasonable. And possibly even legal. Not subject to the death penalty, and not without trial.
If they were running away, they’re not endangering the police - why were they killed? Not in enforcing the law, not in self defence.
There’s plenty of reason for a relative to feel injustice has been done. And it’s well known the police systematically avoid and deflect correcting such misjustice, as well as harass those seeking that.
It’s not a far reach to take matters in your own hands, especially in your grief finding you’ve lost what to live for.
Mind you, if the police were doing their job properly, they wouldn’t neither feel the need to shoot-to-kill, nor would they be targeted by vigilante retaliation.
- Comment on Could wastewater plant simply heat up water past 500C to decompose all chemicals and output clean water? 1 month ago:
Raising water temperature from 10 to 500 degrees requires about 500 calories/mm3. That’s 2 MJ/litre, meaning if you want to heat 1 liter/second you need 2 MW with perfect insulation, so a power plant of say 10 MW.
A post industrial world citizen could probably get by on 200 l/day (US averages about 300/day. That needs 2 kW/person/day.
Total global energy production is about 630 EJ which averages out at about 12 TW.
Meaning if the whole global energy production went to treat water in that way, we have enough clean water for about 6 million people.
- Comment on this is art 2 months ago:
This is actually hilarious. It’s an absurdist parody on a parody of absurdism.
Which makes it meta-absurd 🤣
- Comment on I'll give 100% when I work for a co-op that is equally owned by all the workers. 3 months ago:
Oh don’t get me wrong, it’s a thoroughly unjust system. That is just their argument for perpetuating it. (I could definitely have phrased it better)
And I also believe it’s rigged.
Which means that the only way to win is to break the rules, or play a different game, which sounds more ominous than intended. But I do believe we need to do away with capitalism, or the very least capitalists. Either the $1 billion “you win” cap, or just a wholly different way of economic organisation. Other options are available, but few are as civil.
- Comment on I'll give 100% when I work for a co-op that is equally owned by all the workers. 3 months ago:
Agreed. It’s very hard to beat the system from within. And their arguments only make sense within it.
Now if only there was a way to break the system… 🤔
- Comment on I'll give 100% when I work for a co-op that is equally owned by all the workers. 3 months ago:
I mean, the counter-argument is that nothing is stopping you from creating such a co-op today. You not doing it is seen as a point in favor of capitalism/ruling class.
Show them wrong?
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Why don’t realtors share their closing prices? Seems like a good marketing tactic - “look how much I can get you for this thing”.
You could also take a look at listing prices for land of different types. Or even just call realtors and say you’re interested in buying something similar to yours and ask what the range is for them.
You could probably also buy this data from a data broker for cheap.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Check sales listings for any sold property at that price?
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
I’ll suggest that the nazis and fanatics don’t get to express their nazi or fanatical views.
You can check out Popper’s Paradox/Paradox of Tolerance, which suggests that a tolerant society must counteract intolerance or it spreads to destroy all tolerance.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Great suggestion, I’ll put it near the top of the improbable pile.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
You’re not wrong, but I don’t see the relevance to the topic? Unless this is part of the public revolt?
Organising to protect immigrants in your area is admirable, but how do you get rid of the necessity to do that? You’ll have to replace the politicians, no?
And you’ll probably need to be revolution sized and well organised to be able to do that when they ignore any procedure or deal that doesn’t benefit them in the specific moment.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Don’t get sad - get organised?
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Remember your information diet guidelines!
Limit social media intake, read with an eye towards bias and agenda, and verify all news with independent sources.
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Don’t get sad - great angry
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
Or Mexico tbh, wait until the civil war is spent and watch the cartels roll in
- Comment on [deleted] 4 months ago:
I see basically three ways out:
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Democrats/someones sane win overwhelming majority for long enough to harden procedures, cement effective enforcement, and subversion proof the whole system, while not succumbing to their own corruption. Seems incredibly unlikely.
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Autocracy and/or persecution of political rivals, where dissenters “fall out windows” a lot or the legislative body is replaced, until stability reforms and new norms can be reintroduced. Seems most likely currently, and has several contemporary examples.
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Revolt, public and/or military, throwing out all the politicians and imposing exile or lynching of the offending politicians. Seems improbable, and especially to unite enough to throw out all the bad behaviour. Also will lead to a junta, civil strife and/or provisional government which come with their own slew of issues and corruption.
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The Republicans grow a sense of decorum to protect the less privileged party. I can’t imagine this happening without basically a GOP-internal pogrom under a strongman, but Republican conservatism pulls a strongman in the opposite direction. Unless perhaps they’re some kind of upstanding teocrat perhaps?
This is all wild and slightly saddening speculation, please feel free to suggest other paths!
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- Comment on How do I realistically get out of the US? 4 months ago:
Getting a student visa is easy and an excellent way to both get valid credentials and a feel for the local culture.
As to where you should go depends on what you’re interested in, you’ll almost certainly be able to make a home wherever, so pick something that seems interesting and go (you can always use your mandated vacation days to explore the rest of EU).
For language, in almost all the major cities people will be able to speak English, although typically you’ll want to learn the local language sooner rather than later for social reasons.
If you know Spanish go Barcelona, beautiful city, vibrant in both culture and industry, and with values not too shockingly different to the US. For more info, either visit the Spanish consulate nearest you or look up their online presence.
If you want to keep to English, consider Ireland, they’ve also had a booming IT industry for all the giants needing a foot in the EU.
Mostly you can’t go wrong anywhere in the EU. Biggest culture shock would probably be the Nordics or Slavic countries, but not necessarily in a bad way.
All of them have tons of info about student visas at each university, the degrees are standardised throughout the EU and most universities are good, and typically outstanding in a couple areas.
For more info you just contact their international coordinator, or their closest consulate.Most countries also have dedicated Web pages that outline the process, steps, and how you move toward permanent residence and citizenship if you’d want that.
Moving is typically the hard part, but if you start as a student, you’ll have a lot prepared for you (student accommodations, stipends, social activities, part-time job offers, recruitment fairs, incubators, etc.)
- Comment on Can enough solar pannels decrease the global temps? 5 months ago:
Yes, if the panels were in outer orbit, and mostly powering things outside our planet.
A little simplified energy cannot be destroyed only change form, each time it changes it loses a little bit to energy. Over time that means all energy will become heat.
So the only way to not heat up the earth with energy is to either make sure it doesn’t get to earth, or that we let it out.
Orbital solar cells could keep enough light from reaching earth to cool it, but releasing the energy dirtside would mostly cancel that out. So, we cover the earth orbit with panels and use them to fuel space things.
All of this requires more tech, a lot of resources and time to prepare though. And also a feasible way to store and use that energy in space. Maybe we shoot batteries at a moon base or orbital mining operation?
- Comment on When leftists say "landlord are parasites" or similar dislike of landlords, do they also mean the people that own like a couple of houses as an investment, or only the big landlords? 6 months ago:
I’ve already covered this earlier in the thread
- Comment on When leftists say "landlord are parasites" or similar dislike of landlords, do they also mean the people that own like a couple of houses as an investment, or only the big landlords? 6 months ago:
Profit, price pressures, inflation are not necessarily meaningful terms in a different system.
What exactly do you mean by that?
In a circular or planned economy, those aren’t really significant measures, neither in a subsistence living context. Which are strategies that have housed all of humanity until the last few hundred years.
In a post-capitalist economy, we might be able to provide the human necessities without exploitation. I don’t know how, but I know it’s not through more capitalism.
Homes have been built for many thousands of years longer than we’ve had those as concepts.
If you include cedar bark as a major construction material then sure. Not knocking cedar bark here - it’s great. But not quite the same investment in time or durability.
As mentioned in the last reply, the Palace of Knossos, as well as the Petra were marvels of craftsmanship and engineering, staggering investments, and have stood for over 2000 years. Would probably have survived longer if maintained properly.
The pyramids, the Mausoleum of Halicarnassos, the Taj Mahal, all are landmark (literally) feats for the contemporary technology and societies.
You comparing them with modern construction methods necessitated by capitalism, and with modern technology seems an unfair comparison, as well as circular reasoning.
- Comment on When leftists say "landlord are parasites" or similar dislike of landlords, do they also mean the people that own like a couple of houses as an investment, or only the big landlords? 6 months ago:
Profit, price pressures, inflation are not necessarily meaningful terms in a different system.
Homes have been built for many thousands of years longer than we’ve had those as concepts.
- Comment on When leftists say "landlord are parasites" or similar dislike of landlords, do they also mean the people that own like a couple of houses as an investment, or only the big landlords? 6 months ago:
Agreed.
But also in multiresidential complexes, condos, and palaces for thousands of people.
The world will indeed be different if we have different priorities. Capitalism requires high density to sustain the economic engine, other systems do not.
Under capitalism, capitalisming harder is indeed the only solution. I don’t know how to get you to be able to imagine something without assuming capitalism, but humanity and society did indeed thrive even without it.
- Comment on When leftists say "landlord are parasites" or similar dislike of landlords, do they also mean the people that own like a couple of houses as an investment, or only the big landlords? 6 months ago:
My point is, if you read “aunt” as “landlord”, my comment is not about the landlords as much as the system.
Without landlords, we’d not have a housing crisis. There would be enough housing for everyone, we have plenty of resources and land to build them. The US, not to mention the world, is still big enough for everyone to have their own plot of land and housing.
How did people live before Capitalism? I’ve read that housing existed before even banking was invented. Somehow there wasn’t a housing crisis back then, until/unless we had exploitation.
You’re not wrong in what you’re saying though. The basic difference of perspective between you and I, I believe, is that you’re viewing this from inside the capitalist system, where landlords do indeed provide a function. But if we’d not have capitalism, we’d still have housing, and with less value extraction/parasitism.
As for the obscure anecdote, let’s instead use the simile of marketing. They add no value to you as a consumer, and if there weren’t so many marketers finding what you need would be easier and cheaper (as there would be no marketing cost). For the capitalist they add value, for the rest of us they’re an ever increasing drain on resources - a parasite.