volvoxvsmarla
@volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee
- Comment on I am sick of seeing the rich and powerful on my screen. Where are all the TV shows about normal people? 2 days ago:
I adored superstore. I love how I think back of the show and nothing comes to mind because everything was painfully ordinary.
- Comment on Fixed: Celebrity Inquiries Season 2 Episode 4 2 days ago:
Favorite affects the booty too. Well thought through graphic
- Comment on What would this list look like for your generation? 5 days ago:
I will proceed to check out the national anthem of Djibouti and the state anthem of Mississippi. I might be back with some questions.
- Comment on What's the point in getting married? 1 week ago:
People have already pointed out the legal and financial aspects. But I also want to address the philosophical aspect of your question, which I think you had in mind. And I think the answer I would give you is this one:
Marriage has the meaning that you assign to it.
I strongly believe that if we got rid of any legal and financial benefits of marriage, even if we made it explicitly illegal, there would still be a bunch (or even a lot) of people who would get married.
I would compare it to a house fire. If my house was burning (and there were no living beings in it) and I could save 5 things, what would I save? What would you save? I would take, for example, my favorite soft toy from when I was a kid, and my old box filled with diaries. Is this worth any money? No. Does it have any value? To me, it does. To you, it doesn’t. Maybe you are a very rational person that isn’t attached to anything (or to nothing material) and you would indeed make the smartest choices, saving your passport and documents and money. Maybe you would save a small gift that someone important has given you. Maybe you would save the first guitar you ever bought. You save whatever has value and meaning to you. And these things have solely the meaning and value that you have attached to it.
Likewise, people have different value and meaning attached to marriage. If you look at it from a rational, logical side - it has its legal and financial perks and benefits and if they weren’t there, getting married would make no sense. But things don’t have to make sense. The meaning we assign to rituals, things, concepts, aren’t necessarily rational. They are, however, deeply personal.
So, as a side note, please beware of ridiculing people for their views on marriage or weddings, just like you wouldn’t want to ridicule or belittle someone for other things that mean a lot to them. Always sharing the last piece of bread. Always giving a coin to a homeless person. Having a breakfast for 30 minutes every morning. A good night kiss on the nose from their partner. Drawing a dick in the first snow of the winter. Some things mean a lot to people even if they do not rationally make sense.
In the case of marriage, of course, some of the meaning comes from culture, history, and tradition. Marriage might have had different purposes than it has now, and surely the origins weren’t that romantic. (Not saying, however, that marriage has to be romantic.) But it is there. It is important to some people simply because they have, at some point in their life, decided it is important for some reasons, rational or irrational, social, cultural, and hopefully personal too. To them, it makes sense, it has meaning, it has value. And whatever marriage or a wedding ceremony mean - you decide.
So the question you should be asking is not whether or not you should get married, it is what marriage means to you. Does it have any benefit or value in your eyes? Are the legal benefits enough for you to get married? What is your stance on divorce? Do you feel like you would get “closer together” with your partner? Would you feel it would make things harder to separate? There are a ton on questions like these that you can ask yourself, I hope you get the jist. There are not right or wrong answers. The only thing that is important is that the meaning you assign to marriage is (about) the same as the meaning your partner assigns to marriage. You can both not care about a spiritual meaning, but just get married for the benefits. You can both be a type of “whatever happens, we don’t get divorced, til death do us part”. You can be “we’ll keep reevaluating whether we still belong together”. You can also be “we get married because we have children and this is practical”. Or “we get married because I am hot and you are rich and when one of us loses their asset we split”. Or “we just want a fancy huge ass party to show our love in this very moment and celebrate it with our friends and whatever comes afterwards is secondary”. It doesn’t matter what your view is, it matters that you guys agree.
- Comment on Which actor did not have a single bad film? 4 weeks ago:
Tbh I struggle to come up with an actual good and not just mediocre movie that Tom Hanks was in.
Adding to the trash list: Incredibly loud and extremely close. They massacred the book.
- Comment on Which actor did not have a single bad film? 4 weeks ago:
He is in this abomination of a book adaptation for Incredibly loud and extremely close.
- Comment on Which actor did not have a single bad film? 4 weeks ago:
I’m sorry but… Most of them? Especially since it’s his performance that has become poor. He is playing himself more and more. A similar thing happened to Johnny Depp. Look at both of them in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and then at stuff like Great Gatsby, Wolf of Wall Street, Shutter’s Island, Django / Willy Wonka, Pirates of the Carribean, Shadows, Transcendence. The acting and characters are so similar and they don’t give an effort anymore (or try to, and absolutely overdo it).
(Sorry I somehow incorporated a Johnny Depp rant in a critic of DiCaprio, their story of decline is just too similar to me. And Gilbert Grape is an amazing movie.)
- Comment on What’s your favourite international, non-Anglo/English series? 4 weeks ago:
I still quote Dark on a daily basis so this one I guess
- Comment on Please dont feed the creatures 🪱 5 weeks ago:
First it was hanging, now it’s shooting. Make up your mind. It might help to first get your head out of your ass though.
- Comment on Please dont feed the creatures 🪱 5 weeks ago:
I’m a parent too, and here are my thoughts on this. I would rather knowingly live next to a pedophile - someone who outs themselves and goes to therapy - than not knowing about whether or not my neighbor has ever had such tendencies. I wouldn’t forbid them from having contact with my child, if they are sure it is not too hard for them, and obviously, keep them supervised. (I have barely ever left my child with another adult outside of the kindergarten setting though.) As was commented above, pedophilia is a valid and incredibly unfortunate, isolating and lonely sexual orientation and a disorder that can be treated, if not “cured”. I wholeheartedly agree with what you said about society’s hostile mentality driving people into the shadows and keeping them from seeking help.
I also want to point out that the majority of minor sex offenders (sorry I can’t remember the correct term, English isn’t my first language) has no pedophilic tendencies. A lot of sexual assault happens not because of attraction but because of power, dominance, violence, control. It’s something so important to keep in mind. Your local pedo might be the nicest and most harmless guy, while some other, heterosexual and “normal” oriented person in your neighborhood might have actually assaulted a child. Not having pedophilic tendencies does not mean a person won’t commit pedophilic acts.
In a way, my heart goes out to pedophiles. I can’t imagine how incredibly lonely it must be to have a desire for intimacy only with people who you will never, under any circumstances, be allowed to touch. You will never be able to act on your desires. You will never be allowed to live like yourself, be yourself fully. This must be hell. Even without the witch hunt. The least we can do as a society is to offer all the help and support we can get.
(It goes without saying - fuck all sexual offenders.)
- Comment on You better say "Thank You"! 1 month ago:
Oh then try falafels. Jesus I can’t bring myself to make falafels or something similar at home because you literally fry it in oil and you need to do that in order for the raw legumes to be not toxic.
- Comment on You better say "Thank You"! 1 month ago:
Legumes like beans, lentils, peas, hummus, chickpeas, Oats, quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat, whole wheat products, Tofu in its various forms, including silk tofu as egg replacement in pancakes, Other “meat substitutes” like seitan or sunflower seed mince, Nuts, nut butters, nut flour, Dairy products such as cottage cheese, joghurt, Soy milk
I mean for real, eggs are super unnecessary for a protein rich or healthy diet. I would argue that unless you literally want to treat yourself with a sunny side up or an omelette you shouldn’t be using eggs at all. I like eggs, but a dozen lasts us (family of 3) a month easily.
- Comment on dear republicans, what's the point of alienating every single ally of the US? 1 month ago:
Yeah now try being absolutely unknowledgeable when it comes to tech and very much into makeup, skincare, 90 day fiance and parenting content. Lemmy, it’s been nice, but after one and a half years I started lurking to Reddit every once in a while again.
- Comment on Has no soul 2 months ago:
I would honestly be interested in meeting him.
- Comment on Maybe tomorrow 2 months ago:
For me it’s the other way around. That pizza is looking at me replacing the finished pea package yet again for months and months on end.
- Comment on So, is the USA screwed? 2 months ago:
I’m afraid you won’t have time. It will take minutes. And I’m not even sure it would be announced.
- Comment on So, is the USA screwed? 2 months ago:
So, in the best case scenario, the US as we know it is done and, after a hard fall and hitting rock bottom, will emerge as a country that is less of a capitalist hellhole. Ideally, in the process, other countries will find more independence from the USA, be it trade wise or security wise.
The more realistic scenario is that everything will stay the same/similar and just get slightly worse all the time but every other country will still suck up to the USA and everything gets a little worse. Oh yeah and climate change will fuck everyone up the ass.
The worst case scenario, I would argue, is that this ends in the destruction of the world via nuclear war within less than an hour. This is what I am scared of the most.
- Comment on Working below minimum wage to save the planet 2 months ago:
Everyone here fixing stuff with 3D printers while I am here struggling how to sew up wool silk leggings in a way that keeps them elastic and fighting for my life with darning
- Comment on my version is better 2 months ago:
I’ve always heard promises promises give an end to those promises in the bridge of Lady Gaga’s Pokerface
- Comment on Can you eat soap for acid reflux? 2 months ago:
I wouldn’t eat soap simply because it’s amphiphilic, which is why, well, it makes good soap. The molecules have a hydrophilic and a lipophilic side and this will much rather soap off and severely damage the lining of your digestive route, potentially and probably also resulting in dangerous foaming.
If you take the most simple soap that’s just like potassium ions and negatively charged fatty acid residues, I’m not 100% sure but I doubt that the fatty acids want to accept a proton because they are rather stable when negatively charged, hence they won’t work well to buffer the stomach acid. And again, by the time that the fatty acid thinks about accepting a proton or not it will most likely be soaping up your cells’ membranes.
- Comment on Just think about it 3 months ago:
It never made sense to me. You spent 1 hour of your 24 hours a day doing something you would not do for fun. Your 1 hour is just as long as my 1 hour. Both of us sacrifice the same amount of free time out of our lives doing something we’d rather not do. Why should we be paid differently?
If anything, the higher ranking the job, the more it allows for chatting with colleagues, going out for lunch, taking coffee breaks. You get much more “fun time” than labor intense workers do. Shouldn’t you be paid less? There is an added benefit in your job to begin with. The luxury of being able to sit and get coffee when you want to is already quite a blast tbh.
- Comment on Is it wrong to not have a disabled child solely to avoid forcing the child to suffer their whole life? 3 months ago:
That’s kinda sweet… I think
- Comment on Choosing pink is chaotic evil? 3 months ago:
Nah, I don’t like weed or any of the other options
- Comment on Choosing pink is chaotic evil? 3 months ago:
I’d take yellow because nothing would change
- Comment on When they tell you "oh of course it's safe" they are lying 3 months ago:
On a sadder note, there are a lot of instances of men forcing themselves on their partners who just gave birth. Some nurses do catch them trying to make love in the hospital. But it’s usually… not exactly the new mom’s idea to do it. Not sure why you would want to bang a torn, soft, expanded, bleeding treasure cave to begin with but ok.
- Comment on If God is all powerful and created human. How come God in endowed with human emotions? Shouldn't he or she be beyond that? 4 months ago:
JFC, thank you. I was going insane with the replies in this thread and you seem to be the only one who actually has any understanding of religion. You’re my favorite agnostic person ever.
- Comment on Trying to retain your sanity while married 4 months ago:
I have actually thought it might be misinterpreted because it’s vague in that sentence - no, I don’t mean that the guy thinks the hotel sucks. He still doesn’t care. But his wife thinks it sucks and she is solely responsible for her choice. In a partnership.
Most likely, when confronted with her dislike, he would not be comforting her like “honey, it’s ok, you picked a nice hotel, I don’t think it’s bad at all”, but just be like “look, it doesn’t matter, we’ll just sleep here”. Basically invalidating her feelings and experiences.
The point I am trying to make is: if you are in a committed relationship you sometimes have to care, have an opinion, help with decisions, even if it was something that you usually don’t care about. But saying “I don’t care about the outcome of something that you care about” is definitely neither kind nor loving and devastating in the long run.
- Comment on Trying to retain your sanity while married 4 months ago:
Could it be because decision making is hard and you end up telling your partner that you a) don’t care about what they care about b) leave them hanging when they might need help to decide c) they end up having decision fatigue because you don’t have an opinion? Sometimes, a consultation or just a talk about something one tries to make a decision on feels good, doing it all by yourself sucks.
Let’s say you don’t care what hotel she books. She ends up doing all the research on hotels. Presents you with it, pros and cons. You still say you don’t care. Ok, so now the burden of choice is solely on her. You guys arrive, the hotel sucks. Can’t you see that this is frustrating in a different way than if the two of you decided on the hotel together?
- Comment on ROFL 4 months ago:
I once broke up with someone because he couldn’t stop using ^^ after every sentence even in the middle of a serious discussion/argument
- Comment on Why do Americans always presume that everyone speaks English 4 months ago:
Go from Wales, Alaska near the Bering Strait to the southern tip of Florida. You have traveled 4,580 miles (7,370 km) in 14 states and provinces. At no point were you not in a jurisdiction that was predominantly English speaking.
Laughs in Russian