Impractical_Island
@Impractical_Island@lemmy.world
- Comment on California just passed a law forcing mandatory DRM in 3D printers 2 days ago:
Shit, now how will I manufacture illegal sex toys and sex toy accessories in a covert, anonymous fashion? Woe us me…
- Comment on Those darn immigrants and pinkos. 4 days ago:
If only the Earth was real, because if it was, we would be in a lotta trouble. Fuck. I can’t imagine what life is like for all the ignorant people out there who don’t know basic metaphysics.
- Comment on Theft 1 week ago:
It said centipedes, bro. I know the internet I helped make. I take full responsibility for Chrischan, and if all of the collective parties punishment against me can be directed into proportional sizes to destroy my rectum, then we will collect those votes…and, oh look, it’s unanimous. God save the King, the bitch-ass he is!
- Comment on Theft 1 week ago:
I made this meme like ten years ago:
Do you get it? The police state is two thousand years old. The New Testament describes a decentralized autonomous organization of secret police at an eighth grade reading level. Epstein was a Mossad agent - so, a cop - and is thus alive because of that. We do something called pairing, which is a big part of how “the battle is won,” according to them dum dum Christians, and so Epstein was paired with Maxwell, and thus Epstein disappeared and there are many loose ends of parallel investigations that just go poof, as far as suspicion of rats in criminal networks go. Trump/Hunter Biden/Clintons are all cops. That’s how won the battle is. We don’t give evil a chance to reach power. But, I’m just some retard doing his counterintelligence job on the internet.
- Comment on Hypocrisy is their default setting 2 weeks ago:
Johnny Tremain never fucked here. I’m sorry you can’t get your money back. Go to Sears.
- Comment on Hypocrisy is their default setting 2 weeks ago:
Picard is a sexy bitch and I wish he would molest me like Riker does whorish dogs on Risa.
- Comment on Hypocrisy is their default setting 2 weeks ago:
Four ghosts. There were four ghosts.
- Comment on Scope 2 weeks ago:
I use my dickwrench to unlock safes. Just need a five speed actuator and a dickwrench becomes a real fucking whore as far as stealthy criminal apparatus’ go. Hey anyone know of any illegal hijinks going around town. I’m totally not a cop bro, and for proof, I’m will to let you pierce my dick, which is totally not my fetish.
- Comment on I just released my first fully free Android game: Wandering Alchemist (GPS walking game) 2 weeks ago:
By GPS enabled, does that mean this is like my fit bit and I can level up through masturbating rigorously? Asking for a friend.
- Comment on Skill Issue 😓 2 weeks ago:
This one time I quit my job as a dishwasher by writing a note saying a family member had been raped and I needed to sort my life out. I don’t know why I did that, but my God do I wanna smack my past self. I was a weird fucker. Broken too. But then again, I was the psycho dishwasher. Miracle dishwasher, sure, I got everything caught up from earlier in the day by 6pm no matter what. I’m a hard fucking worker. I had to be to survive my father. Major complexes in my psyche. But y’know, I bust my ass when I do things, and I had been contacted by the CIA pretending to be God on an acid trip, so I was consumed by the need to complete my mission, and that is how I became the 48th and 50th president of the United States. Fuck low level jobs, fucking scabootle this societal pyramid shit, bro. Ascend.
- Comment on Skill Issue 😓 2 weeks ago:
Nah, that’s free like the bag fries from Five Guys. That’s actually shit I love; little psychological tricks that manifest wealth for no reason besides [human condition]. Like, people disproportionately overvalue the free fries they throw in the bag, because they’re the fries they didn’t have to give you. That’s why my dick is ALWAYS whipped out between the hours of nine to five, and then during the night, I moonlight as a prostitute. I’m not good at it, but I really enjoy embarrassing myself in a slip on that corner.
- Comment on Skill Issue 😓 2 weeks ago:
Ok, well, in that case, I’ll take three mega bogus burgers with the twist melt nine times outta six, as well as a side of cheese fries, freaked not fried, and two cokes, one with cocaine in it the other diet, and if you could blend all that up and put it in my smoothie from this morning, I would be peaches, you crabcake dudzoltzer, you.
- Comment on Skill Issue 😓 2 weeks ago:
Nah, I’m allowed to do this, write funny comments on the internet, because I am the police, retard
- Comment on Skill Issue 😓 2 weeks ago:
In my restaurant, I make all my female employees withstand uncomfortable sexual advances from me. I have lawsuits out the ass!
- Comment on 🤔 Interesting 1 month ago:
Sorry, lost some blood to my brain for a second when I was thinking of small land mammals.
- Comment on 🤔 Interesting 1 month ago:
I never had a license for having a big dick til they made it a requirement requestement that make it do what it as it do be it for cuz that’s what it be.
- Comment on Yay, sponsored emojis! 1 month ago:
Man, I bet you can’t tell me what tf to do boy. Nor can I tell you to investigate. No one fucking investigates. I do one stretch of comments at a time and most people are so chuckle happy they don’t even know God’s a unified field of consciousness that arose from the supersymmetry of the ever-present, eternal emptiness to then fold in and on Itself across eleven dimensions to form a topological matrix that acts as a monadic nodal communication system, let alone I teach this in my educational (f)art project, but retard over here is “fully convinced,” so why don’t I mention how much I love feet and leave it at that.
- Comment on Yay, sponsored emojis! 1 month ago:
I could put those balls in my ass abd I still wouldn’t get a pallbearer outta my marriage. Did I spell that right. Hope I did. Wouldn’t want to be wrong on yhr intenert
- Comment on Do you think that Edward Snowden is a hero? 1 month ago:
He’s a spy, obviously
- Comment on Supermarkets destroy food if it doesn't sell. We can always feed the world. We just don't. 1 month ago:
When I’m president, I’m going to spend every dicking dollar on education, so the masses understand that a single person doesn’t make as much difference to 360M people as those 360M We the People do to themselves.
My twelfth grade English teacher told me the machines are broken, they just don’t know they’re broken, so the bigger machine made of machines grinds on. There’s a scene in the matrix about this, how the average person is so dependent on the matrix they will fight to defend it.
What truly is possible to the human form? Society is 1776 updated to 2026. What if we just started fresh, what would we make and be then? Would it be 1776 2.0, or something else entirely? I think of democracy afforded in the modern day where only a republic was good enough before with the communication potential available then.
- Comment on Instead we got a trillion dollar man 2 months ago:
More than free college: education. Everyone has a piece of the puzzle. By sharing your knowledge and wisdom skillfully, you help eliminate poverty and crime. Certainly, the system should be fixed, but we all need to help the lowest among us the ways we can. We cannot offload responsibility to this agency, this person, this state. The individual is the source of will in reality, and thus where good will is born.
- Comment on Pizza 🌟 2 months ago:
Because who would waste good caviar on you?
My mom would.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
But rly
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
No its this:
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
But wait…is this…
- Comment on wat 2 months ago:
Tell that to the Hat Man
- Comment on wat 2 months ago:
Not unless you donate some seed money to my church. It will come back to you, and then you pay twice as much and then I pay half. And then you, a vulnerable population, gain faith in the process and give more and more and I give less and less but this is just friendly educational propaganda from your friendly neighborhood juggler and CIA spook.
- Comment on wat 2 months ago:
You can explain but don’t but criticize you are idoltarer and are in degenerate dharma like all Christians nowadays
- Comment on Anyone get this? 2 months ago:
I don’t adore anyone, but I try not to think ill of people, either. The self is the lens we see the world through, so if we’re always giving credence to the negative within us, that is what grows and what we see more of.
- Comment on The rich convinced us that taxing them is too complicated but everyday people can be taxed pretty easily 2 months ago:
No it reads like someone who stares at goats wrote it, being as naturally counterintelligent as I be n are, but you got that cultural reference, yea?
Here lemme give you a guided reading quiz to help facilitate your education, cuz that’s what I’m about, education:
Question 1: Who do I work for?
A) Some agency that starts with the letter F
B) The CIA
C) The Illuminati, that decentralized autonomous organization of secret police described in the New Testament at an eighth grade reading level
D) Some unnamed organization that stares at goats
E) All of the above
Question 2: What is my job?
A) Cop
B) Counterintelligence
C) Education (our best crime deterrent)
D) Professional goat-starer
E) All of the above
Question 3: What is a one “Donald Trump?”
A) President of the United States
B) A pedophile, by normative definition of the word
C) A cop
D) A distraction
E) All of the above
Question 4: What do you live in and are a part of?
A) A police state
B) A decentralized autonomous organization (society)
C) The Empire of the Sacred Heart
D) A topological matrix
E) All of the above
Question 5: In 2000-7000 of your own words, which is what I write everyday, tell me what you think of feet.
