shawn1122
@shawn1122@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on She only wanted the ring bros 3 weeks ago:
I get where you’re coming through and I’ve personally gone through many of the feelings you’re describing. As men we sometimes feel that physical intimacy is how our partners communicate to us our ‘value’ in a way. Some of that is toxic cultural norms but there is also just fundamental differences in how intimacy is perceived between men and women in long term relationships.
As you’ve aptly stated, the difference is men often feel that sex is part of how they are made to feel appreciated and valued while, in my opinion, women need to feel validated, appreciated and valued emotionally as a foundation upon which a desire for physical intimacy arises.
I am by no means diminishing the experience of men or trying to say its all on them. I have literally posed the questions that youve posed to the women in my life and while they understood where I was coming from it never fixed the rift. Only after I took the initiave to take interest in and prioritize their emotional security and trust in me did the dynamic change from a diminishing interest in intimacy and rare or infrequent initiation to the opposite of that.
I’m just speaking on my own experience, particularly regarding long term relationships. Hopefully it means something to someone out there.
- Comment on She only wanted the ring bros 3 weeks ago:
I hear what you’re saying but I’d say that not all women are like that and these conversations are really meant for someone you’re prepared to have a deep commitment with, not necessarily early on in a relationship. There are a ton of toxic attachment patterns and cultural norms on our society that are challenging to navigate but those tend to matter less as a relationship evolves into a long term one.
- Comment on She only wanted the ring bros 3 weeks ago:
It is not always the mans fault but men don’t have the same needs when it comes to maintaining a long term sexual relationship.
Women generally need to feel a sense of emotional security, trust and connection for a long term relationship to thrive, especially in the bedroom. Men would like this too, but they don’t necessarily need it to continue a sexual relationship.
Unfortunately in many (perhaps most) relationships women do feel that a disproportionate share of household and childcare duties fall on them, which erodes at those core foundations of a healthy long term relationship.
Is it all on men to work this out? No. But if they want to take an active approach to maintaining the health of their relationship, meeting their partners emotional needs has the highest likelihood is doing that and keeping the bedroom alive.
- Comment on Shart of The Deal 4 weeks ago:
Agree that Mossadegh was imperfect but, in the eyes of many, Western meddling was one direct cause of the Mullah regime and the hipocrisy of claiming to stand for democracy while installing autocratic puppets around the world is all too apparent.
- Comment on Shart of The Deal 4 weeks ago:
Agreed thanks for the insights.
- Comment on Shart of The Deal 4 weeks ago:
This seems like an inaccurate representation of Iranian history so please feel free to elaborate. Sure Iran was an autocracy in 678 BC, not sure how that’s relevant to today, but Iran’s democracy was overthrown by Western powers when it tried to nationalize its oil. The West then installed an autocrat representing their interests until the revolution in 79.
- Comment on Shart of The Deal 4 weeks ago:
One can imagine that being told “a civilization will die tonight” will act as motivation for them to get one.
- Comment on Shart of The Deal 4 weeks ago:
It’s not just about how useful the dollar is to Iran, it’s about making it less useful to other countries also.
If Iranian oil is back on the market there will be a lot of interested buyers. If it’s only sold in yuan or crypto.
The petrodollar wasn’t going to last forever youre right but there are many parties interested in ending it sooner than later.
- Comment on [deleted] 5 weeks ago:
Always good to have standards.
- Comment on Why do some people with college degrees and an education, still act so fucking stupid? 5 weeks ago:
It’s even worse when you find out they’re not acting.
- Comment on Meanwhile in California 5 weeks ago:
For some reason this comment reminded me of that Cuban dude that retrofitted his car to run on coal because of American sanctions. What a world we live in.
- Comment on How to stop a parent from jumping into the nearest religious rabbit-hole to cope with a divorce? 5 weeks ago:
Spirituality is healthy when it isn’t exclusionary. Unfortunately it so often manifests that way.
Dont quote scripture at them. Approaching an emotional challenge with a logical solution is never well received. The other side just assumes you don’t understand them.
It what context are they lecturing? Is it due to people they’re directly interacting with or social media?
- Comment on I am an American. I used to be proud of my country. Now it feels like a turd circling the drain. Is there anything going on behind the scene that America is actually doing good in? 1 month ago:
This is true wisdom.
- Comment on For Iranians, Bombing of Gas Field Worsens Already Dire Energy Crisis 1 month ago:
Up the escalation ladder we go, as instigated by Israel. They’ve already bombed Qatar’s LNG plant which is the biggest in the world.
- Comment on Happy 17th of March 1 month ago:
You’re absolutely right, the scale of the transatlantic slave trade was greater than ever before seen in human history.
Somewhere between 1 in 5 to 1 in 6 died on the journey alone.
One needs to also be aware that slavery as practiced by modern Western colonial empires was even more cruel than how slavery was practiced traditionally even dating back to antiquity.
In most of the world historically slavery was often contingent and there were several pathways to manumission (freedom). It was not an inherited status by default (partus sequiter ventrum).
The Western colonial empires very much perceived the entire world according to a race based caste system where Europeans were the highest caste and those of African descent were the lowest. Complexion defined your worth as a person. They spread this worldview globally, which has poisoned so many minds, and the world is still recovering from it to this day.
America adopted and upheld this race based caste system until the civil rights act passed in the 1960s (within the lifetimes of many of parents/grandparents). During the American era of slavery, slaves had no legal rights. They did not have personhood. Children of slaves were automatically also slaves from birth. Slaves could be grieviously injured or killed with impunity. They were seen as property, or livestock.
This is not how slavery was practiced historically around the world.
In fact, even ancient Greece and Rome (both of which thrived on slavery) had more legal protections and pathways to freedom. Slavery was not race based. In many cases, they had earnings and could eventually buy their freedom. In Rome they could be set free by an owner and become Roman citizens.
None of this is taught in American history likely because the ruling class worries it would hurt the average person’s national pride and their ability to exert control over them. But the truth is no society can improve without honestly reflecting on their past so I hope there will be some that read this and learn.
- Comment on Happy 17th of March 1 month ago:
I don’t think anyone is arguing that on a global scale though colonial/Western powers did decimate Africa and continue to engage in neocolonialism there.
But if we’re talking about American history we need to be transparent about the fact that this was a nation that was an apartheid state until about half a century ago and the consequences of that reverberate to the present day.
- Comment on send thoughts and peer review 1 month ago:
Not mutually exclusive though I can understand how the West’s experience has led them to that conclusion.
Though there are many scientists in the West that are religious.
One has to understand that the purpose of prayer and community isn’t necessarily to improve material circumstances.
- Comment on Unconventional strategy. 1 month ago:
When you’re persecution complex is so robust you reanimate the Old Testament despite being a “secular” nation.
- Comment on Every single time. 2 months ago:
Melania is that you?
- Comment on Real Height 📏 2 months ago:
I think you touched on how social pressure can make it toxic.
By no means advocating for a change in how we define adulthood but a recent paper looking at topographical turning points in the brain identified adolescence as extending from 9 to 32 years of age which explains a lot in my view.
- Comment on Game over 2 months ago:
Might be a good time to learn about the curry leaf.
- Comment on Real Height 📏 2 months ago:
Most people don’t really know what they want until they’ve had their perspective is broadened.
Filtering people out based on specific physical attributes is wild in my opinion. So glad I found my partner before that became ‘normal’.
That being said I’m speaking for full fledged adults. We have research now that suggests adolesence extends to age 32. I wouldn’t be suprised if people in their 20s were trying to optimize ear or nipple size in their search for a partner, just from my memory of living through that age.
- Comment on Stereotyping is wrong. 2 months ago:
If we’re going off election results it would be two thirds of white men and more than half of white women.
- Comment on Stereotyping is wrong. 2 months ago:
For which party and why?
- Comment on Anon disrespects their elders 2 months ago:
This must be devastating for the Switch which also happens to be nearly tied for best selling console of all time.
- Comment on Why does most American's give shit to the French when if not for them we would have lost the revolution? 2 months ago:
France has no US military bases on its soil and has refused to be entirely vassalized by the US unlike most of the rest of Europe. It’s one of few Western countries that has managed to maintain strategic autonomy in the face of US hegemony. Refusal to participate in the war in Iraq is an example of this, while countries like the UK followed blindly like a good little lap dog.
- Comment on Japan cancels cherry blossom festival over complaints of tourists littering and ‘defecating’ in yards 2 months ago:
The article makes the claim that homes have been broken into.
- Comment on Japan cancels cherry blossom festival over complaints of tourists littering and ‘defecating’ in yards 2 months ago:
Great insight.
- Comment on Japan cancels cherry blossom festival over complaints of tourists littering and ‘defecating’ in yards 2 months ago:
Being accustomed to bad infrastructure means they won’t use good infrastructure if it’s right in front of them? That’s an interesting assumption to make of those of lesser means.
Yes, I can see that being a problem. But it comes back to Japanese infrastructure not having the capacity so I’m glad they’re doing the responsible thing by shutting it down. Hopefully they can come up with a solution so that businesses that see a lot of revenue due to this festival don’t get hit too hard.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
If you talk to locals, yes, this is the stereotype.