Azzu
@Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Creator of LULs (a script which helps links to point to your instance)
Come say hi here or over at twitch.tv/AzzuriteTV :) I like getting to know more people :)
Play games with me: steamcommunity.com/id/azzu
- Comment on I would like to play a calm game 2 weeks ago:
Suuuuper confused no one mentioned “Tge Witness” yet. Probably the best calm game of our time.
- Comment on When traffic comes to a standstill, drivers instantly shift left and right to create a Rettungsgasse, an emergency corridor right down the middle, so ambulances 2 weeks ago:
Buuut if they’re going the speed limit, how are you supposed to overtake them anyway?
- Comment on When traffic comes to a standstill, drivers instantly shift left and right to create a Rettungsgasse, an emergency corridor right down the middle, so ambulances 2 weeks ago:
Do you see 2 lines inside the empty space? No? Then it’s not two lanes being kept free. Everyone is just at the very edge of their own lane. Sometimes lanes are just wide.
- Comment on lmao 2 weeks ago:
It’s more likely an advertising department somewhere.
- Comment on Why is Lemmy "Language" so confusing? 2 weeks ago:
Why is it stupid to give people the option to only see posts that explicitly selected a language?
The only stupid thing here imo is the UI and how it’s explained, it shouldn’t be part of a multiselect together with the rest of the languages.
- Comment on 3 weeks ago:
Liberals vs leftists
- Comment on Babe wake up, new Linux exploit just dropped! 3 weeks ago:
7.0.4 kernel has the fix
- Comment on Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk? 3 weeks ago:
So yeah I am not black, but you said elsewhere that that kind of opinion is still fine.
And also, if you want, you do not have to bring ethnicity into it at all, in my opinion. This can just be handled like any kind of “family disapproval”. Of course some people are sensitive to racism based issues, but I think it’s not actually that relevant in this question/situation.
In my personal opinion, people value family, and “approval of other humans” in general entirely too much. I understand that family is an important survival mechanism of our species and thus ingrained in our psyche to care about, but in some situations, family bonds are just a straight detriment to one’s life.
For example, if your family causes(/d) huge emotional pain and trauma, which prevents you from properly functioning in society, even if there is the potential safety net of “my family takes care of me while I’m in trouble” (i.e. idk, losing your home and needing a place to sleep) severely loses its value if the result is more pain and dysfunction accompanying it.
This is just to illustrate my general thinking.
Now with regards to situations you mentioned, I would just say “fuck em”. In my opinion, there’s no need to associate with a family that’s not even yours. If your partner insists on it, I would find another partner. With my current partner (who is also Asian), neither she nor I have contact to our families, so it’s not an issue anyway, but in general, there should ideally never be any “requirements” to be fulfilled. If I say no to my partner on something, that’s it, same as when she does it, that’s it for me.
Maybe I’m just extremely lucky or I’m very tolerant, but I think you should have a partner that you like as a human in general, whose whole set of worldviews align with your own. If a partner were to try to force me to interact with their racist family, I fundamentally disagree with that and I would dislike that person so much as to not be able to be with them.
I generally don’t think you can change humans very much, so all of this kind of “attempting to conform to a set of expectations” is moot and shouldn’t be done.
So to summarize this, I think family ties are not that important, and having to confront annoying situations is not necessary, as a loving partner that cares about you would not force that on you. This kind of attitude might leave you without a partner, but it also leaves you free to get a partner who you’re actually compatible with and don’t need to care about stupid family views.
- Comment on Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk? 3 weeks ago:
So I’m personally really struggling because there are no paragraphs. The text itself is completely fine, I think. But when paragraphs are missing, I’m just unable to focus on the text for long and extract meaning from it.
Usually, you try to group closely related sentences together in a paragraph. It’s a bit of an art but uuuusually relatively obvious. So for example, when I start reading your post, the first group I could identify was the “preamble of stating your intention”, which is
I’m a Black man in the Pacific Northwest, and I’ve been thinking about interracial dating, especially Black men dating Asian women. I want to be clear: I’m not here to attack Asian people, Asian women, Black women, white people, or anyone else. I’m asking because I’m genuinely trying to understand the conversation better.
Then it continues with some personal experiences, each of which deserve its own paragraph:
I’ve dated Asian women before, including a Vietnamese woman I still think highly of because she was mature, open-minded, and not racist. I was young then and my intentions were different then.
I was offered to marry an Asian woman but I declined; The person of interest behaved one way in front of her parents, another way around her friends and a different way around my friends, and overall she treated me like I was an experiment. I side eyed her a lot.
Then it gets hard for me, because it seems you make a generic statement about your preferences/thoughts:
My interest is not based on stereotypes or fetishizing. I’m attracted to different kinds of women, and I try to see people as individuals.
Which sounds like a separate set of statements which should stand apart from the rest, because then you go into another section about online discourse, but you start with a “But”, which sounds like the statements are related. I did not understand at first what you liking women in a certain way has to do with online discourse that says asian women like white men over black men.
I think I understand now after taking this long time dissecting it, but that’s kinda what I mean, I had to do that dissecting now which I would have to do much less/none of if the statements were nicely grouped by paragraphs.
I hope that was clear :)
I will offer you my opinion about the actual content in another comment.
- Comment on Black men dating Asian women: where is the real conversation about racism, family pressure, and emotional risk? 3 weeks ago:
Hello, I had a hard time reading your post. May I give specific feedback about your writing? If you don’t, completely fine, just ignore this comment :)
- Comment on Anyone feeling like doesn't belong anywhere? 5 weeks ago:
I’ve lived in one country all my life and don’t feel like I belong anywhere, so I can’t really help you there :D
I don’t really care that much though, I’m personally just fine “belonging” to a few specific people I know, no matter where they are.
- Comment on What was the stupidest form of US defaultism you've encountered in real life whilst they're abroad? 5 weeks ago:
You did not notice that both of your examples have nothing to do with “US defaultism” but just normal properties of shitty humans?
I’ve heard Britons and Singaporeans speak like this about English, and I’ve even heard people whose language is not even the “world language” like Germans or Italians speak like that.
Same with the currency thing, I’ve seen people do that same thing with Euros and Yen.
This is not a US-specific thing, it’s just a privileged/narcissistic/patriot human thing.
- Comment on Land where 1 month ago:
Sounds good at first, it’s just that they splash down in water at 7.5m/s.
- Comment on Germany already told its workers to ditch four-day weeks and work-life balance—now the government wants to cut their pay for calling in sick too 1 month ago:
They don’t really care that much, they’re being paid for this, once they’re paid, they don’t care what comes after.
- Comment on Why are prop, non functioning guns way more expensive than airsoft guns? 1 month ago:
I would assume a decent amount also comes down to marketing. Airsoft guns are used by teenagers or just not seen as important to spend money on, while if you are idk, someone making a movie or whatever, you have more money to spend and thus the same/similar thing can be sold for more.
- Comment on Why is it that when the graphics driver freaks out in your browser when watching a video, the page always turns this specific shade of green? 1 month ago:
That doesn’t really answer the question though. Obviously it’s the side effect of some kind of glitch, but why is it always this green, why not orange or blue
- Comment on they say we never really touch something because our electrons repel.. so how does something like dirt stay on my hands when it's not really touching my hands? 1 month ago:
I recently made this comment. This post reminds me again of that :D
- Comment on The Sounds of Silence 1 month ago:
I’m not sure if “have to” is true. I’m sure they could refuse.
- Comment on Thanks to Artemis II mission, Kerbal Space Program records a highest concurrent player count since 1.0 release 1 month ago:
I actually learned about Artemis 2 because I was engaged in a KSP RealismOverhaul community that talked about it, so the other way around for me lol
But I definitely built a SLS+Orion
- Comment on Is it the American way to complain about the US, or is it that other countries aren't worth complaining about? 1 month ago:
What language do you think Japanese or Spanish people complain about their country in? How often do you visit places where these languages are spoken?
- Comment on It hurts. 1 month ago:
Lucerne
Or literally every city in Europe
- Comment on How do you fight abandonment issues when people keep abandoning you 2 months ago:
What helped me was roughly two beliefs:
- That “worth” is not necessary, life is/humans are entirely fine existing without any concept of it
- There are other people equally “unworthy” as me (or more) and I’d tell them it’s fine, so why wouldn’t I extend the same to me?
- Comment on What are some good, populated multiplayer games that have a free-for-all mode? 2 months ago:
Beyond All Reason regularly fills up FFA lobbies.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
The whole concept of “degenerate” is irrelevant. It’s a way to control behavior of other people via shame. It is irrelevant what you do as long as you don’t hurt anyone else with it.
- Comment on How do slugs not get eaten? 2 months ago:
Just to be a little more detailed than other answers:
Like they said, they get eaten a lot, but they also reproduce a lot more. Think about something like dust in a room. Dust has no chance against your cleaning, when you wipe off a surface, the dust is gone. Same if something decides to eat the slug, the slug is eaten.
But when you clean a room, do you always clean absolutely everywhere? Did you clean the dust from the top of the lamps? The dust from below the carpet? While you were off cleaning one side of the room, didn’t some new dust already settle on the surfaces you just cleaned? And so on.
So yes, you’re absolutely correct in everything you say. But defending yourself is not necessary when there’s just so much of your species that they can’t all get eaten at the same time.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
You’re online, so I would research ways to actually leave the country. I can’t help you with that, because I have no knowledge in that regard, but I’m sure there must be ways, it’ll not be easy though. I hope you’ll find a way.
- Comment on What happens to flies when you let them fly out the window of a car at 75 mph? 2 months ago:
My assumption is that they’d just be swept off with the wind and nothing else happening to them. But it depends if they hit the side of the car/the window frame once they go out, if they do, I assume it would end like the ones on my windshield, i.e. splat, if not, they just get accelerated to wind speed and once they are accelerated, it’s just like flying through 0 mph wind, even if relatively, they’re going 75 mph.
- Comment on So say, someone lives in an English speaking country and wanna see a movie in the threaters but they struggle to understand English, how are they supposed to watch it? 2 months ago:
I know it’s hard, I also have lots of experience getting over fears. I was myself extremely socially afraid and afraid of all kinds of things in a less severe manner.
I have an Singaporean girlfriend right now who is similar, who I’m helping through it as well.
Believe me, I know the struggle. It’s so unbelievably hard to do things you’re afraid of and the main problem is that it all happens inside your head. All the effort you’re putting in is basically invisible to an outsider. They might push you because they don’t see how much you’re already doing, which just makes it worse because you start feeling like you should be doing more, and then on top of feeling afraid you also feel like shit because you do “so little”, which is not little at all.
You can do it, I believe in you :D if you want any more words, I’m here, I don’t wanna ramble on and on lol
- Comment on So say, someone lives in an English speaking country and wanna see a movie in the threaters but they struggle to understand English, how are they supposed to watch it? 2 months ago:
The separation anxiety doesn’t go away if you don’t separate sometimes.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
🤣👍