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Submitted 9 months ago by 6H2Od9XeDu@feddit.de to [deleted]
Comments
gdog05@lemmy.world 9 months ago
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Works every time!
ExLisper@linux.community 9 months ago
Just say “Sorry, I have some urgent work to do. We’ll talk later”. People don’t care, no one will think you’re an asshole. You can say it right after ‘hello’ or after quick exchange. I mostly avoid talking to people at work. I have my ANC headphones, sit at my desk and do my job/browse lemmy most of the time. But when people need help with something I do it fast and without needless bureaucracy so a lot of people know me as a reliable guy. After all it’s work. Be polite, be professional, do your job and you’ll be fine. And if you meet someone who’s fun to talk to have lunch with them from time to time.
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Here’s a Midwestern trick for you. Find a lull in the conversation, then use the word “Welp!” and then press your lips together into that flat emoji face 😐. Generally that’s all you need to say to indicate, “regretfully, I need to move on from this interaction now”, and both parties can give their requisite goodbyes before dispersing. If that didn’t get the hint across, throw in a “Alright, well, I’m gonna let you get back to it”, which obviously sounds nicer than “you need to release me from the conversation chokehold you’ve got me in and let me get back to it”, but means the same thing. If they keep talking after that, then they’re the asshole and you can now directly shut down the conversation without the stigma. But don’t forget to apologize for needing to do something other than entertain them and ask their permission to do otherwise, and then thank them when they grant your reprieve. Something like, “Sorry, if it’s alright, I really need to buckle down on this. Can we chat later? Thank you!”
This submissive, conflict-avoidance, time-management solution technique is brought to you courtesy of generations of the painfully polite and non-confrontational interacting with the overly friendly and chatty that defines the culture and the history of the Midwest. In Indiana, that’s as much a daily fixture of our way of life as riding past corn fields stretched to the horizon, the joy of confirming from their license plate that the shitty driver is indeed a Buckeye, and a general obsession with basketball.
fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention.
People that like you are more likely to help you. If you tell them to fuck off they’re not going to like you, and they’re not going to help you. And they make just make your life worse depending on how much of an ass you are. They’re probably trying to talk to you because they see you (presumably) looking miserable and want to be nice.
It’s a means to an end.
If that’s your only view of jobs you’ll probably never find one that will make you happy. Have you considered finding a different job that you’d actually enjoy? You’re much more likely to enjoy talking to your co workers when you’re surrounded by likeminded people.
6H2Od9XeDu@feddit.de 9 months ago
[deleted]elephantium@lemmy.world 9 months ago
are you claiming your job makes you happy? Why don’t you do it for free?
No, turn this around. Everyone needs a way to pay the bills. But there are lots of ways to pay them. Lots of different jobs.
Would you rather work at a job where you’re happy or where you’re miserable?
A lot of people find their jobs easier if they’re on friendly terms with their coworkers.
Please note, this is not the same as being close friends with your coworkers.
fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.world 9 months ago
in what fantasy land do you live where jobs are supposed to make you happy?
It’s not a fantasy, it’s my current job right now.
Why don’t you do it for free?
You could argue I do with all the overtime I do. Granted that overtime leads to getting more raises so I don’t know if that qualifies.
Is your job your whole identity?
The opposite, I made my hobbies my job. I love fucking around with computers so I got a job fucking around with computers.
Find a job you love, and find a job filled with people who will love you back. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. You may need to move, you may need to go back to school. And worst of all, you may need to schmooze. Nepotism and cronyism gets jobs. Having a large network of people you associate with, and know what you want is probably the biggest key to getting the job of your dream.
Blaze@discuss.tchncs.de 9 months ago
The world is made by extroverts.
So do extroverts think, but introverts can definitely live their lives in a different way.
What do you say to stop conversation organically?
I just tell them that I have to go. It doesn’t have to be rude, that’s just the way life is. The intonation of your voice can change the perception of the message too
6H2Od9XeDu@feddit.de 9 months ago
[deleted]richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one 9 months ago
Work is not high school. A few instances of you getting your phone and saying “Do you mind repeating that while I record you, so I can discuss with HR how you’re creating a hostile environment?” should at least curb some of those attempts at bullying.
Blaze@discuss.tchncs.de 9 months ago
Sorry to hear
Atin@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I talk about stuff that holds no interest to them.
Pounddc1@lemm.ee 9 months ago
HMU on telegram if you got verified Id.me let hit $100k upwards and split @pounddc1
Beefytootz@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Short answers work best. "oh hey do you have any plans this weekend? “Yes.” Conversation over. Someone asks you how you are, your answer is “fine, thank you” and you move along. You’re polite and you’ve satisfied all they’ve given you. It won’t work all the time, there are some people who are more interested in talking at you instead of with you. For those, I recommend starting the conversation with an exit. “Oh hey, I’d love to chat, but I only have a couple minutes.” You can now walk away pretty much whenever and it’s not like you didn’t tell them, it was the first thing you said.
Boozilla@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Be friendly but super boring. Fuzzy gray rock.
As others have said, they just want to talk about themselves, humble brag, and make sure you’re not a “creep”. Best way is to let them get it out if their system…but bore them at the same time. More art than science, but with practice you’ll get it.
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It sounds from your post and your replies here that you resent people trying to be friendly.
Typical jobs pay for your time, not your work product (which is an entirely separate conversation) and it would be mind numbing to try to work straight for 8 hours at a time. Workers are expected to take breaks, and humans are social creatures. Knowing a little bit about the person next to you fosters trust and empathy, two things that encourage cooperation and productivity.
If you care about your coworker, you will help them when they ask. If you care about all of your coworkers, you’ll work harder for the company that employs all of you. This is a fundamental aspect of the employer/employee relationship.
It also helps pass the time. Pleasant social interactions are fun and entertaining for most people. A lot of people also know how it feels to be left out, and try to include outsiders if they think someone might be feeling lonely.
Conversely, working next to someone cam be m pop liserable and distracting when that person is a mystery, is silent or unpleasant, or somehow makes people feel uncomfortable.
Your coworkers are showing an interes in you because they want to make their day more bearable and also make you to feel included. If you don’t like it, you should say so and explain yourself. Chances are, they will understand that you don’t enjoy social interactions and leave you alone without creating any animosity. Most people understand what an introvert is. “I don’t like talking about myself,” is a perfectly reasonable thing to say.
“You talking to me keeps me here longer than I want to be,” is rude, arrogant, and will make people actively dislike you.
Recognize that their interest in you is a kindness, at least from their perspective, and to treat it like a burden is an insult.