Background for myself, I was a viewer when Good Burger was a sketch on “All That,” a children’s sketch comedy show on Nickelodeon in the 90’s. It was basically Saturday night live for kids. They had this heavyset girl who sarcastically read the news like Chevy Chase and shit. It was pretty edgy for nine-year-olds. Good Burger wasn’t even the funniest sketch on the fucking show. All of the comedy revolved around Kel’s character talking like a white surfer/stoner guy…like Bill & Ted, also popular around the time. He misunderstood peoples orders in an adorable way…I’d like a shake so he would shake you. Great.

In 1997 I graduated high school and they released the movie that year… I guess it’s nostalgic and that’s why people remember it. Other 90s kids? Similar to SNL movies, it had cameos from a bunch of stars, and sort of a built-in audience, I guess, because of TV. I’m not sure if it went to theaters, but if it did, I don’t know who in the hell would watch it. Seems more like a VHS or Nickelodeon in the afternoon kind of thing.

For me, I don’t understand how they could squeeze anything longer than a seven minute sketch out of the concept. I guess he Keenan Thompson is funny, but even him I’ve never seen him be funny longer than a seven minute sketch. And Kel is kind of like Jason Mewes, a novelty and not really a comedian or actor. Cool that he’s still around, like the Chinese kid from Indiana Jones.

OK then. Doesn’t make sense to me that this movie was made or that anyone is in it or that anyone would want to watch it. But the Internet won’t stop trying to get me to see it. And it has like 67% critic rating on rotten tomatoes. Am I missing something? There are lots of fantastic movies that barely have 67%.