Gregg Phillips was in charge of the emergency response agency’s largest division and had come under scrutiny for a series of bizarre claims.
He teleported to a waffle house? Pfttt. I went to college in the south. That’s just called a friday night.
FEMA Official Who Claimed He Once Teleported to a Waffle House Is Leaving
Submitted 4 weeks ago by silence7@slrpnk.net to nyt_gift_articles@sopuli.xyz
Comments
ZeroCool@piefed.ca 4 weeks ago
DougHolland@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
FEMA should offer this man a raise and try to keep him. Teleportation could be a valuable tool in an emergency!
Naz@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
But what if he really did teleport?
I know Occam’s Razor and all, but imagine an an interdimensional entity just messing with random people, teleporting them around.
No reports come out of it because everyone’s too scared to be made fun of or institutionalized. 🤔
You could go around doing crazy things with impunity using a portal gun
silence7@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
They interviewed the Waffle House waitress who didn’t see him arrive that way. I can promise you, nobody is going to institutionalize a Waffle House Waitress because they saw come crazy shit
Naz@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Ah. Well, that completely blows my hypothesis out of the water. If the waitress says he shambled in drunk, then we’re back to the boring and most likely case.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
Dude we’ve all teleported to a Waffle House, it’s usually how you end up in that haven for the drunk.
Treczoks@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Leaving for a “holiday” in an institution with padded rooms?
GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
Another of the greatest hits is “walking the Appalachian Trail.”
klu9@piefed.social 4 weeks ago
How? On foot? Or… you know, the other way he does it?
inari@piefed.zip 4 weeks ago
You’re giving this way more thought than he did
Mirshe@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
He claims he was driving around late at night with his kids, then suddenly was at a Waffle House 50 miles away in the parking lot. It’s a very typical “hi I’m an alcoholic” AA-style story, and I’ve heard it tons from various people in my life as “this is when I knew I had a drinking problem”.