so i know labels are overrated, some may say, and all that, but my sister thinks it’s interesting to find out. it may change as she’s a young teen, but she’s never had a crush, as she says. in fact, as well, she’s never had a sexual desire or libido, which my dad said is “abnormal as most teens are wanting to have sex”, even though it’s clearly ok to not want to and everyone is different.
i said she’s probably aroace but i’m not too sure (i myself am a lesbian romantically on the ace spectrum). today, she said if a guy were to flirt with her or be/do something generally what people who like men would consider attractive, she wouldn’t find it attractive, though she does find guy singers and actors hot. however, she saw a girl wearing attractive clothing recently and found her really pretty and attractive, though she wouldn’t date her.
she says she would be happy to date someone without doing romantic things and isn’t interested in kissing, but anything beyond a platonic life partner situation is a no for her. one of my partners (i’m poly) is a platonic partner (masc nb), and they felt the same way, no kissing but a platonic life partner situation is ok, and they’re aroace, so i told her it was very similar to them. again, she has never felt romantic or sexual attraction towards someone, and while she does appreciate their beauty, she doesn’t wanna date them or anything like that and is only ok with a platonic life partner situation without doing romantic things like kissing.
is aroace a good term? we’re trying to help her figure out her sexuality and you can’t say for sure, but there could be a good starting point.
Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 hour ago
Based on information provided, aroace is a functional descriptor.
That being said early teens is a highly transformational time for people. Some change would not be unexpected.
rebeccapatriciastar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 hour ago
thanks!
Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 59 minutes ago
I feel obligated to point out that while the label fits, it shouldn’t be a defining personality point.
People often get caught with labels they put there themselves or they were given by others. It’s important to be separate enough from them that you are not constrained by them. If they care enough about finding a label to fit for now, I hope they will continue checking in with themselves on occasion to check if the label still fits.
Much like the feeling of ‘if people are going to call me a villain, I might as well be a villain’. It happens (sometimes quite subtly) for most labels people choose to live by.