Why do I push people away if I'm so lonely?

Comments

• Battle_Masker@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨26⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  trauma perhaps? I’ve talked about certain things that have happened to me in the past and people are like “yo wtf,” and turns out those aren’t normal things to happen. Also I’ve seen trauma resources describe certain behaviors that I know that I do.

  point is, look into local support groups if you can’t find therapists

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• Grail@multiverse.soulism.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  You’re lonely because you push people away

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• Rudwark@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You are afraid of being abandoned again.

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  • nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    How does one overcome this fear?

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    • hydrashok@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      I would recommend starting by joining a group around a topic you’re interested in. Local climbing club or anime group or sports enthusiasts or gaming clan or whatever. Something in person. Use that group to practice social skills and learn body cues with topics you’re already familiar and confident with, and that in turn will help you branch out to other topics when you’re ready with the same level of communication.

      It is a learned skill, and it takes time, but if you never take the time to learn it, then it will always feel foreign to you. Does that make sense? Like so many things in life, you have to get past the fear to get to the reward. That can be difficult, and you might get hurt when you put yourself out there, but I believe if you keep with it, and you’re determined to make a change, you can absolutely overcome anything and find a social group that complements you.

      Good luck, friend. You can do it. We believe in you.

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    • Oka@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Practice.

      Surround yourself with people, when one of them clicks more, let then in your inner circle little by little.

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• disregardable@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Hopelessness protects you from disappointment.

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• pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  I’ve had eras of my life like that. I thought I was being antisocial, but it turned out the people I was surrounded with were just exhaustingly petty. Then my situation changed who I had surrounding me, and suddenly I was a social butterfly.

  It is wise to look inward, and work on ourselves, because we are the only ones we can change.

  But it is also wise to give ourselves a break, because it might just be the situation that sucks.

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• HurricaneLiz@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “Better the devil I know…”

  Familiarity’s a tough rutt to get out of, just gotta keep trying 💜

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• Maeve@kbin.earth ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  Check out attachment theory and styles.

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• dogbert@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Our reality is based on frequencies. When you identify yourself as “lonely” and ascribe that to your personality, you are literally broadcasting those frequencies into reality, and the universe matches it.

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