How do I deal with the outside world when I have germaphobia and don't really like outside?

Comments

• immutable@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  My spouse has this exact same thing, the thing that worked for them is OCD therapy.

  OCD therapy is a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure therapy, and occupational therapy (which despite the name is more just about strategies to use for practical things like going to the store, out to a cafe, etc)

  It hasn’t been easy but they’ve been keeping at it and it’s really helped them in a way nothing else has.

  There are very few problems so large that they can’t be solved, but that doesn’t mean the solutions aren’t big and scary themselves. It’s easy to say “go get therapy” but I know that the reality of doing so is difficult. I’ve seen it now first hand how hard it is, but it’s worth it.

  The phone call to discuss whether or not they can help is free, NOCD

  Take care of yourself, you deserve it.

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  • TheButtonJustSpins@infosec.pub ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    On top of this, medications like Sertraline help with OCD. (You’ll probably want both until you’re steady, not just therapy or meds.)

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  • eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    A BIG thing about OCD is that LMFT’s (your standard therapist) can’t diagnose it! You need to see a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis.

    It’s made a huge difference for multiple people in my family once the first one of us got diagnosed.

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• MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You’re describing OCD.

  OCD is treatable, so I’d work towards getting a formal diagnosis and begin treatment.

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• wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I have been wearing a P100, 3M 6000-series half-face respirator everywhere I go in public for the last 5 years (genuinely far more comfortable than any other mask I’ve ever worn). I have particularly compelling reasons why I feel this is necessary. In my experience, it’s an effective measure, and I literally teach high school 8 hours a day with it on. In my experience, the trick is this:

  • What the other people around you think of you is absolutely meaningless. Doesn’t matter. Ignore them.
  • if someone wants you somewhere badly enough to demand you go out of your comfort zone, then they want you there badly enough to be brought out of their own comfort zone by having Darth Fucking Vader show up.
  • People who look at you weird are not people you want to be around. People who ask you why you are wearing it are worth a brief explanation, and the simple fact is, nobody really gives enough of a shit for it to matter.
  • I have gotten very good at not inhaling when I don’t have my respirator up, so I’ll take it off momentarily to explain the situation to anyone who asks, and they are, 19 times out of 20, immediately understanding and we both go on with our days.
  • You have to make your own threat model. For me, I’m to the point where I’ll downgrade to an N-95 in my therapist’s office (since we’re 1-on-1 and nobody else has been in that room for 15 minutes) and when I go to a triannual game night at a friend’s house, because i know they’re all vaccinated, and I trust them to tell me if they’re sick.
  • Outside of some place like Japan, where societal pressure has led to an actual culture of hygiene, propriety, and basic consideration of others, you simply cannot assume that people give a flying fuck about their effects on the people around them. In a million ways, from cutting in line or on the highway, to playing music or a phone call on speaker on public transit, to the myriad externalities of the way they live, they inconvenience you and others around them. This is, unfortunately, normalised throughout most of the world, and bad hygiene surrounding infectious disease is just another part of that. Unlike playing music on a bus, however, poor infectious disease hygiene can lead to someone else’s death. You have to decide the precise level of risk and investment you’re willing to accept, and fuck anyone who disagrees with you. They can either deal with your non-negotiables or not. Set a clear fucking boundary. Rather than demanding that they act in accordance with your whims, judge by their past actions how they fit into your threat model and inform them of your new criteria by which you feel safe to engage with them and the world.

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  • swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s not my bag, but you do you boo!

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    • wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Oh, it’s DEFINITELY not for everyone, but as something wildly outside the norm (unless you’re in a fallout game) I think it serves to prove a point: whatever the OP needs to do to feel safe enough to engage with society, they should do, but the onus is on them. They have to set and communicate boundaries. They can’t assume that people will change how they live their lives for them. If that means that they look like a batman villain when they go to the grocery store? Well, turns out everybody else has their own problems, and nobody really cares. If they can find a solution that makes them feel like they can engage with society in a healthy way, then they should go all-in.

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• Tujio@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Same, dude. Gave myself surface germaphobia during a plague that turns out doesn’t really transmit via surfaces. I’ve made lots of rituals over the years about the objects that I touch. Hand sanitizer everywhere, cell phone sanitizer, gloves, etc. Went a little too far for a while, now I’m also trying to crawl back into normalcy.

  Biggest positive change I’ve made recently is this: if I’m not eating finger food, what the fuck does it matter if my hands are dirty? I’ve got my cell phone in my hand right now, I’m touching the TV remote, I’ve got a can of beer. Not freaking out. I’m gonna scrub my hands like a surgeon before I eat this bag of chips, but right now? Fine.

  Still got some hangups about doorknobs and sink handles, but I’m miles better than I was a few years ago.

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• Talos@sopuli.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  So sorry. Please see a therapist if you can afford it, this sounds like a big deal.

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• scytale@piefed.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I’m a bit of a germaphobe as well. I bring a small bottle of isopropyl alcohol and tissue/wipes so I can do quick wipes of surfaces I’ll get in contact with for a significant period of time (i.e. restaurant seat/table, office desk, movie theater headrest if not wearing a hoodie, etc.).

  I pull long door handles at the bottom because it’s the least likely to have been touched by lots of people or use my shoulder or foot to push open doors.

  I keep hand sanitizer handy as well. I sometimes have to stop myself because I instinctively grab it out of my pocket after shaking someone’s hand, and I don’t want to look rude so will only sanitize out of sight.

  I don’t feel paranoid at all because it’s routine to me and I can live my life normally without it being a hassle. Just take minor steps to make yourself feel a little more comfortable, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

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• Wolf314159@startrek.website ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

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