Submitted 3 weeks ago by anthony@lemmings.world to [deleted]
Ok, so I don’t feel much sexual attraction to others, but if we’re close enough and they’re very special to me, I won’t mind having sex with them and am pretty open to doing it regardless of feeling attraction or anything like that. The attraction is there, but it feels different.
Sounds like demisexual, which is a subset of asexuality.
Everyone else is already covering the topic of the usefulness of labels, so I’m not going to bother getting into that.
What you're describing is very similar to how I feel, and I describe myself as grey-ace. I feel some sort of sexual or sexual-adjacent attraction, and don't mind sex with my partner since it can be fun and feels good for both of us. but I'd be 100% okay with never having sex again, and I have no desire for it other than when my partner is in the mood.
but xxce2AAb (other commenter) is spot on. labels are nice because they help you find community and describe your experiences in ways that are healthy instead of "weird" or "broken", but they're not necessary to fit into and are entirely a personal decision of what labels you feel like describes you best, or whether you bother using labels at all ^^
you're just you, and that's awesome
What you sound like is…
NORMAL
Demisexual. You've described it right out of the gate.
You should add your age for context. You’re either a normal adolescent/young adult figuring shit out like all of us have to. Or you can consider yourself part of the spectrum, maybe in aceflux. You can do that at any age to be fair. I would just wait until maybe ~25 before you make your own identity ruling here. And keep in mind stuff changes over time still even after you’ve reached that age, maybe just at a slower pace.
In the end, you do you. I would recommend honesty with your partners. They could be pretty pissed when they find out by accident that you’ve been more like holding your proverbial nose to enable intercourse.
Very hard to judge with that context. Not minding sounds just like non-sex repulsed asexual. (going off the fact that you don’t seem to be implying wanting to do so, and haven’t said anything along the lines of “wanting to”.
IE the real question is would you enjoy having sex with someone, and/or do you even have romantic feelings.
ace is a huge crazy spectrum, but what I generally hear about is
aromantic - IE do not feel romantic attraction
asexual - does not feel a desire to have sex.
sex repulsed - (this does not appear to apply to you, that’s when you are actually sickened when confronted with sex).
So without full more detailed view on you, unless your tone of “I don’t mind” is different than what I think of when I hear that. (IE I don’t mind emptying the dishwasher, or taking out the trash).
xxce2AAb@feddit.dk 3 weeks ago
I honestly don’t know, but does it really matter? You like what you like, and when you like it. There’s no need to pigeon-hole everything.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Mr Rodgers obviously never covered topics of sexual spectrums. If he had, I feel like your answer is very in line with what he’d say.
Which, is a compliment. Anytime you can invoke the spirit of someone I hold as highly as Mr Rodgers, it’s a good thing.
xxce2AAb@feddit.dk 3 weeks ago
That is incredibly high praise indeed. Thank you.
nullpotential@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
People get way too bogged down with labels.
Labels are just the a general guidelines for explanation. Also, the more specific a label gets the less useful it becomes.