For more context, here are a few paragraphs first detailing how this has happened to, followed by an explanation of the problems I’m finding with clothing and the advice I’m looking for. I also recently created a TikTok @snack_nicholson as an easy way to show some of what I’m currently working with and the issues I’m facing (and after hiding away, it has felt cathartic to share my unique experience, daily struggles, and hopefully my transformation back, if anyone is interested in supporting me there).

BACKSTORY:

This is what happens when you let bad lifestyle choices after big life changes (cross-country move; demanding, new, sedentary office job; breakup) go totally unchecked—a weight gain of 140 pounds.  With a difficult schedule, working 6 days a week with long hours at a desk; not making time for exercise anymore; relying on the comped daily lunches, stocked office pantry, and fast food for meals; and struggling with the new stress, my weight rapidly spiraled out of control. And unfortunately, I turned a blind-eye and let this go unchecked for way too long. 

I never imagined that at just 32-years-old (or any age, really) I’d be lugging around a 69.5-inch belly, which doctors have determined has collected almost all of the fat due to rare & bizarre genetics for hyper-abdominal fat accumulation and hormonal side-effects (elevated cortisol and prolactin levels, some fluid retention). They’ve done plenty of tests to rule out any other issues, and have settled on this conclusion—though they have never seen anything this extreme in someone my age before. 

As this transformation has progressed, even my primary care doctors have started using pregnancy-based references to chart and communicate the growth of my abdomen—visually and functionally. In their own notes, they’ve labeled me as currently the equivalent of being “overdue with quintuplets,”purely based on measurement and shape. While it’s strange and sometimes humiliating to hear, I understand why: my belly is not only massive in girth, but projecting forward in such a pronounced way that typical obesity terms don’t really capture it anymore.

And it’s not just the size—it’s everything that comes with it. I’ve had to completely alter how I sleep, usually propping myself up with pillows because lying flat leaves me breathless or in pain. I deal with constant indigestion, reflux, and hip or lower back strain from how front-heavy I’ve become. Even walking short distances is a challenge, and bending over is sometimes nearly impossible. On top of that, I face regular stares, questions, and awkward encounters from strangers who either assume I’m carrying something under my shirt—or just can’t look away from how extreme my belly has become.

CLOTHING STRUGGLES:

Managing my life with these proportions has become nearly impossible, as every movement is difficult, people react and comment on my unusual shape constantly, and especially that no off-the-rack clothes fit me from anywhere. Having a belly this round in girth and disproportionate to the rest of my body means that at my current size, it is nearly impossible to find shirts that fit me correctly at all. On top of that, even after much discussion with my boss about my peculiar situation, we are required to wear button-down shirts at work and for client meetings, meaning that I still need to source options to meet those guidelines (and am hoping to find better solutions that what I’m doing now, making due with the biggest options I have that won’t burst during my day and wearing an undershirt beneath them).

Even most Big & Tall stores only carry waist sizes up to 60-64" max; shirt sizes to 5XL, meant to accommodate a belly circumference of 60-65" max, but even that’s pushing it; and the cut of these shirts assume more distributed mass, not a highly-round, centered belly like this meaning the belly will still pull taut and the arms and chest will fit super loosely (accommodating width, not projection).

I’ve also grown so quickly that keeping up with anything that does somewhat fit me has been hard, and I always feel like I’m playing catch-up at least a size behind. Even in moments of extreme desperation considering gender-neutral maternity clothing, these sizes usually only go up to 4XL max, which would already be too small for me, let alone the cut being for a smaller, more feminine frame. Even finding basic workout or casual clothes has been nearly impossible, which is especially frustrating now that I’m trying to be more active and make changes.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening and I’d appreciate any advice at all on where to look and turn to find clothes that don’t continue to overemphasize what’s happened to me and make me more comfortable throughout my day. I’m feeling that the biggest and maybe only suggestion is going to be custom tailoring, but that will get expensive, unless I rely on just a small set of shirts always.