I need some relationship advice. I suggested 125% but my wife won’t budge from 10%. Is this normal? How did it go when you had this conversation with your romantic partner?
What a business degree does to a mf
Relationship advice?
Submitted 9 months ago by christian@lemmy.ml to [deleted]
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/8c815f91-ef91-4353-b324-8da68b5341fe.jpeg
Comments
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 9 months ago
Flumpkin@slrpnk.net 9 months ago
He’s an autodidact. Not sure why it matters, but I just thought “of course he is”.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I honestly enjoy seeing people like this with batshit insane but logically consistent views. Makes things much more fun
Fawxhox@lemmy.world 9 months ago
As an autistic dude, I feel like I know that it’s weird too say, but I also feel like it makes sense. Like it’s hard to quantify x% better, but I’m sure there is a number, for me at least, where if someone is that much better and would date me, I’d do it. It’s not romantic to say, but it’s true. And I’ve been dumped for other people twice so the same must have been true for them.
It just feels like one of the thousands of unspoken rules you’re not allowed to talk about out of politeness. But honestly I would like to know that number for my SO.
Flumpkin@slrpnk.net 9 months ago
If you’re curious about an alternative view, I suggest The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. Relationships are about growing your own and the others natural abilities, something you do and not about trading something you have. The OP post is a materialistic view and a belief in inequality. YMMV.
pachrist@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Tell me you’re a 44 year old man with a Messiah complex who spends his Friday nights trolling college bars for girls his estranged daughter’s age without telling me.
harry_balzac@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m pretty sure the ROI for relationships with people who quantify abstractions is in the negative.
silentTeee@lemmy.sdf.org 9 months ago
They are. Which is why these people go for FWB…if they can even get that
nifty@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I understand why someone would say this, it’s just acknowledging your own shortcomings in a way and realizing that you can’t be everything that someone might want. But so what? If someone is willing to do this math with you, then they’re not really appreciative of you as person. Imperfect is fine, insecure is not.
Asafum@feddit.nl 9 months ago
I have had this easy with one simple trick: be naturally worse than literally any other person out there and you’ll never need to worry about someone trading up because they won’t take you to begin with!
Checkmate logic dude!
Ekybio@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I find the quantification of very emotional topics not very helpfull in the long run:
What counts as “10% better”?
Do you know if the number, should it even exist, stays consistent? Or that you got the “correct one”?
My advice:
Find out what you seek out in a relathionship, what you want to avoid, and then talk about it.
Because “10% better” could just mean the other guy is driving more carefull with the family-car, doesnt chew with an open mouth or shaves more often.
ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 months ago
This seems to be the whole point. Neg the other person and make them question their own worth. "Oh, no! I'd better keep them happy. Is THAT GUY 10% better than me!?"