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What is a good, healthy, unhurtful, socially positive way to express anger?

⁨52⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Dr_Satan@lemm.ee⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

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  • Croquette@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What works for me :

    1. I remove myself from the situation that caused the anger.

    2. I let myself live the anger for a minute or two, or a bit more if needed.

    3. When the anger is gone, I identify what emotion is the cause of anger. Anger is 99% a reaction to a negative emotion.

    4. I say outloud to myself the reason of my anger. Otherwise, I feel like the anger is pent-up.

    5. If my anger was directed at someone, I apologize and explain why I was angry.

    6. Finally, I reflect on the situation and the emotions I experienced. Sometimes it’s 30 seconds, sometimes it’s a few days, depending on the gravity of the situation. By understanding what caused the negative emotions, I can handle it better in the future.

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    • tygerprints@kbin.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Usually with regard to the 3rd step, I realize it's a series of smaller frustrations that have led up to the huge angry outburst. One or two things go wrong, OK I can usually handle it. But after that, get outta the way because I'm like an exploding nuclear warhead. I've driven off more than one friend and roommate with my 0 to suddenly 100 rage.

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      • Croquette@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        This is why it is important to learn to identify the smaller frustrations to stop them from building up. Smaller frustrations are easier to deal with, so it is a good idea to take a minute or two to just deal with them right when they happen. It will stop most of the bigger outbursts.

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  • thezeesystem@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Kill pixels and destroy the pixelated worlds of video games and then create a paradise in it.

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  • joneskind@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Swearing. This is the purpose of bad words.

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  • fluidrock78@lemm.ee ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Weaponized positivity.

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    • idiomaddict@feddit.de ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Hello fellow service worker

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  • 1984@lemmy.today ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    This is a question that should be asked and learned in school. Maybe then we wouldn’t have so many broken people.

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    • Cinner@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Ever notice how no schools have any emotional intelligence lessons whatsoever?

      I don’t remember it being a thing when I was a kid but both my kids have had classes that teach these things.

      I also remember I was having issues with a kid in school and the school counselor sat us down and talked to us about anger and emotions, etc. I think we had a short daily session for a few weeks. This was in the 90s.

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      • 1984@lemmy.today ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Yeah I think we had it also, but today’s kids don’t seem to have it anymore…

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  • BumbleBeeButt@lemmy.zip ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Exercise and drag racing.

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    • FenrirIII@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Plant a tree. Lots of work to dig a hole.

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  • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Image

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  • Deestan@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Punk rock karaoke

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  • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I go break bottles behind the WaWa.

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  • ChunkMcHorkle@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Get some time and space to yourself, 10 to 30 minutes, depending on the complexity of the situation. Think about exactly who/what you are angry with, and why (including yourself*). Don’t worry about solving it, just get it front and center in your mind. Pile up a huge number of couch cushions. Beat the ever livin’ fuck out of them with your fists and feet until you break down or wear yourself out. Repeat as necessary.

    *Note: One of the reasons some emotional things never die is because we try to solve them without including ourselves from the equation: we see forgiveness is needed but we don’t include ourselves, for example, or guilt needs addressing but we don’t want to measure our own part in it because someone else’s betrayal was so overwhelming, thus it’s almost unbearable to think of the self as participatory in that destruction. Yet those are examples of exactly the kind of inner situation that keep us stuck in unhealthy emotional patterns. If you really want to get out of an emotional trap, including anger that doesn’t quit, and you think you’ve tried everything, try specifically looking for exactly what you don’t want to see about your own part in it.

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  • bruhbeans@lemmy.ml ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Mutual aid. Helping people directly defuses a lot.

    Weightlifting. Squatting is like screaming into a pillow but with gainz.

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  • ABCDE@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Kicking a football, you can hit it as hard as you can at the goal and it’s more acceptable than at a person directly.

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  • DarkGamer@kbin.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Punching a punching bag, or a pillow.

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  • BrerChicken@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Have you considered playing the drums?

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  • 1984@lemmy.today ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Ok some examples that makes me angry:

    • People being mean to animals

    • People who don’t care about others (plays loud music, talks loudly on phone in public places etc).

    • People who treat others badly because they look good and think they are better because of it

    I think the right response to this is to get angry. Not saying its helping, but getting angry at someone is perfectly fine sometimes.

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  • small44@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sport

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  • mods_are_assholes@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Protesting, peacefully

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  • tygerprints@kbin.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    These "isms and phobias" are used as excuses to rationalize violence, but really they are just excuses based on irrationality and on hurtful stereotypes.

    So if you're angry about someone or some group of people, the way you handle it positively is to use that energy to lift up people.

    Instead of being negative and downward, trying to stomp on other people like they are bugs, what about trying to get to where you can help someone who is struggling. Doesn't have to be a person of the group you hate, but anyone who needs a helping hand.

    Think of it this way, the person you're really mostly hurting when you're out of control angry, is yourself. All that energy expended on bitterness and stress - why not instead use it to go out and be proactive with people. The world is a stupid place, so - go flip it the bird by helping someone out.

    It sounds weird I know. I'm usually a pretty angry reactive person. At the store yesterday, a lady was buying like eight cartons of soda, so I asked her if I could help her with loading them into her car. She was a little unsure at first but then was really grateful for the help.

    It's a tiny thing. But I felt good, in a way. Sure it's not going to change the world, but it's better than putting more dents and dings in it.

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  • Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨9⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    1. Consider what it is and why it made you angry

    2. Think about ways to avoid that issue/reason again

    2.5. If that reason is a person, figure out if there’s anything you can reasonably do to change the situation which caused the anger

    1. If you can make changes, make them. If not, don’t fret over it and continue your day with the full understanding that you’ve done all you can and it isn’t worth any more of your time.
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