Comment on Daily Discussion Thread đľđśđś Monday, 25 November, 2024
Duenan@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨months⊠ago
I have a problem with overthinking about things and events that occur or may occur as a result of something.
Itâs definitely one of the things that gives me a great amount of stress and anxiety.
I keep thinking about things and the possibilities and sometimes bad or unpleasant things that happen stay in my mind for quite awhile.
I donât quite know how to handle those feelings and what I should do.
Itâs been suggested that I just move past things and forget, or distract myself to take my mind off of things or I be more stubborn about my own feelings and harden up?
Thereâs been other things, like for example I followed all the steps and did things as soon as I realised or possible and I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasnât my fault but still it bothers me. (That was what I was stressing about)
Thereâs possibly more to come in the future as the problem hasnât come close to be resolved and I hope I donât keep thinking about what might happen.
Apologies for the rant.
I still get blamed for not doing it soon enough and copped some barbed words, I know it wasnât my fault but still it bothers me.
what would bother me is not my performance but the person blaming me , thatâs where I would put my focus
a mature and nice person doesnât blame others for events out their control
+++++
It took me so long to start thinking like this but my last boss woke me up to this fact. I have such infinitely better managers now and I could almost laugh at how hard I tried to please unreasonable people.
I think I used to be like that too. I would feel terribly puzzled as I objectively knew I was doing ok. Itâs so hard to accept that other people might not be truthful and might even be mean. I think mean people rely on that.
And itâs not naivete when we are in situations where we should reasonably expect to trust people to be good, to think itâs naivete is blaming the victim. I wouldnât trust a stranger but people I know or work with, then I should be able to.
The blame is on them for exploiting a work relationship.
I know heâs an asshole but it doesnât really make me feel any better about it sometimes.
same
Sounds like real event OCD. Whatâs worse is when you did do something objectively NQR, but you canât move on from it and you spiral over the potential consequences.
It is a fresh hell.
Some aspects of it seems to describe me.
I do get hung up about events that make me feel crap or if I treat someone badly but in some ways I make peace with it that I have a conscience and knowingly think about my actions and recognise what to treat and be treated appropriately.
Pilk@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨months⊠ago
This is very human behaviour, totally normal.
What helps me with this specifically is saying âWhat if it all works out?â or the similar inverse of whatever your worry is. âI might fuck up my interview and say something dumbâ becomes âWhat if we get on so well, they toss out their questions and we just start chatting like old friends?â
Itâs not like đď¸ woowoo positive ⨠mantras â¨and manifestation stuff. Itâs literally tricking you brain to make good chemicals instead of bad ones.
Duenan@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨months⊠ago
For awhile I spent some time with just a movie on in the background and I was scrolling through some happy posts.
Then I distracted myself with some food and a few rounds of Balatro.
Looking for something else to do for a bit then Iâll head to bed.
I think itâs just a bunch of bad stuff happening lately all at once thatâs making me feel overwhelmed.