Comment on Anon tries to manipulate Tinder
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Can women message people on Tinder they haven’t matched with?
And if this was effective wouldn’t it lower all women’s Elo scores? Unless he only ignored one group and catfished everybody else. Sounds like a lot of work.
dai@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
No, only tinder premium can do so IIRC.
Bumble? From memory women can only message first, men must wait to be messaged before they can.
BugleFingers@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Bumble is moving away from having women message first as apparently it was too much of a burden for the women on that app (According to npr.org/…/bumble-dating-apps-women-opening-moves )
Understandable as I find having to generate an opener hard too. Kinda a shame though as the point was to give them a place to have some more control with the interactions.
ICastFist@programming.dev 5 weeks ago
As a man who would often get matches but rarely get so much as a “hi” to allow the conversation to start (i’d say only 1/8 of the matches would say anything in the 24h), I really wonder why. A number of women apparently never read that they were supposed to send a message first when using bumble (I did hear that more than once on the app), but others? Why?
BugleFingers@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Well, although I’m not so sure about bumble, I know women on tinder have a volume problem, a few friends have shown me the number of matches and current conversations and wow, it’s actually absurd. I could not maintain that many interactions either. So perhaps if not an issue with formulating an opener there’s just too many matches to reasonably get through them?
That makes me actually wonder if a match limit would be a worthwhile feature on some of these. Just a stray shower thought
Cethin@lemmy.zip 4 weeks ago
As I guess a reasonably attractive man, as the other person mentions, it’s probably a volume problem. I end up not messaging a lot of matches just out of apathy. If I don’t think their profile is interesting enough, I often just won’t message. I’m sure this is at least 10x worse for most women.
Cethin@lemmy.zip 5 weeks ago
Yeah, the old Bumble model was better (in my opinion as a man). It creates incentive to have an interesting profile with stuff people can comment on. The newer “opening move” thing incentivizes generic responses. Bumble (in my experience) still has women message first far more often than Tinder though. You may just have to wait and not message immediately.
Creating an opening message is only really difficult if someone has a generic boring profile, so if it’s an issue for anyone maybe that’s why.
BugleFingers@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
I agree it was a better model. I’ve never found it easy to begin a conversation even with someone who has a good profile. I just struggle with the formulation of an opener. Way easier in person IMO, though a good profile makes a conversation continuation much easier.
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 weeks ago
Wasn’t that the whole point of bumble?
BugleFingers@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Yeah, pretty much haha, otherwise its just tinder. I used it briefly a while back and usually the first message would be “.” so that I could start the actual conversation. So I supposed it’s never been all that different to begin with
Dkarma@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Ppl in this thread so pathetic they can’t say “hello”??
Epic
Cethin@lemmy.zip 4 weeks ago
If the best you can do is say hello, that’s pretty pethetic.
The complaint is that Bumble had something that made it unique: that women sent the first message. On other services anyone can message first, but 99.9% of the time that ends up being the man, which is fine but having something attempt to switch that up was cool. Bumble removing this makes it more like everything else.
TheBat@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Women ☕