So you’re shitting on them for doing the right thing? Or am I misinterpreting
Comment on Anon pregames
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“It wouldn’t be right to rape you, you have a boyfriend,” is about what I expect from a 4Channer.
Soulg@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
His reasoning for not sleeping with her was that she had a boyfriend, so it, “wouldn’t be right.” But that girl was so drunk that sleeping with her would have been rape. He did the right thing, but his reasoning was clearly wrong, and implies that if she didn’t have a boyfriend he would have slept with her, even though she could not consent.
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 months ago
He’s describing what he said, not his thoughts or motivations.
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Yeah, and I’m going to assume that what he said are his thoughts and motivations, since there is literally no evidence to assume otherwise.
Jax@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I can see what you’re saying, but you are making some assumptions and that’s entirely due to OP being an unreliable narrator.
Throwing up usually purges a lot of the alcohol from your system. OP makes no mention of throwing up themselves, and I’m assuming they were drinking too. That means there’s a solid chance there’s more alcohol in OPs system than hers. You do understand that consent works both ways, yes?
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Holy shit, I was going to respond that the first sentence about how there’s no reason to think that OP’s thoughts are different than his words, but GOD DAMN do we need to address the second half of this comment.
So, first of foremost, vomiting will not purge alcohol from your system. If you are drinking so heavily that you’ve thrown up, you are already experiencing alcohol poisoning. Your body is purging your stomach to prevent you from metabolizing any more of the poison, but it’s not removing any of the alcohol that’s already in your bloodstream. Eating bread won’t absorb alcohol, drinking black coffee won’t sober you up; there is only one thing in the world that will remove alcohol from your system, and that is time.
Secondly, you are right, consent works both ways. If the OP had been the one that was throwing up, and the girl had taken advantage of him, then that also would have been rape. But that wasn’t what happened; one person was so drunk she was throwing up, had to be put to bed, and clearly couldn’t consent. The other person was not throwing up, was capable enough to caretake this person, and could get himself home safely. There is zero chance the poster was drunker than the girl.
I tended bar for over ten years, so please take this advice; if you see someone is noticeably drunk, do not sleep with them. If you find yourself in a position where you think, “This person seems drunk, but I’m a little drunk too, so it’s probably OK,” you are already showing reasoning and logic (and therefore ability to consent), and the other person may not be able to do the same.
There is a line between two adults who are attracted to each other using alcohol as a social lubricant and someone who is too drunk to know what they’re doing coming on to you, and I know that line can be blurry when you’re younger. I promise you, as you get older, you’ll have more experience, better instincts, the people around you will stop drinking to excess, and that line will get less blurry. Until then, err on the side of caution, and if there is even the slightest question as to whether someone is too drunk to consent, do not sleep with them.
bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
On an empty stomach, blood alcohol concentration peaks about one hour after consumption, depending on the amount drunk
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC543875/
So unless the girl threw up within an hour (give or take) after drinkinging, throwing up won’t do much.
match@pawb.social 2 months ago
The last temptation is the greatest treason / to do the right deed, for the wrong reason
warbond@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Personally I don’t give a shit why somebody does the right thing
Chewget@lemm.ee 2 months ago
For real. Just do the right thing
kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
Or maybe what he expected was most likely to let a drunk girl let him go?
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s a fair expectation, but it doesn’t change the fact that he only didn’t sleep with her because she had a boyfriend, not because she was so drunk sleeping with her would have been rape.
Doom@ttrpg.network 2 months ago
Wrong as fuck she is not too drunk to consent what the fuck lol
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
LOL, exactly the shit I’m talking about. Imagine thinking it’s OK to have sex with a girl who just drank so much she puked. I thought thinking like this died out in the 80s, but i guess the kids are back on date rape.
Doom@ttrpg.network 2 months ago
or I’m an adult I’ve drank and live in the real world not the Internet like this fuckin opinion. Throwing up from drinking doesn’t indicate intoxication level, they pregamed she drank too fast and then tried to have sex with him.
Her trying to have sex with him says she’s not too drunk. Like what the fuck? I’ve thrown up from a single shot of tequila because it doesn’t sit well with me, if I mix too much sugar and alcohol I’ll puke. Am I too drunk to consent off one shot of tequila? Grow up
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
LOL, you’re not an adult. Adults don’t throw up from drinking.
Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If you were in that situation, would you say “no, I would be raping you”? The boyfriend excuse is a much more tactful way to get yourself out of the situation.
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
No it’s not. “Hey, I really like you, but you’ve had too much to drink and this wouldn’t be right. If you feel this way tomorrow, let me know,” is a perfectly acceptable answer. Hell, I’ve given that answer before. It’s certainly not less tactful than, “You have a boyfriend and what you’re doing is wrong.” And yeah, cheating on your boyfriend is bad, but not as bad as rape, which this would have been.
Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Keep in mind, you’re telling this to a blackout horny drunk person. In honesty, it doesn’t matter what you actually say.
pjwestin@lemmy.world 2 months ago
OK, so if it doesn’t matter what he said, why lie? You’re kinda invalidating your initial point here.