What you need to do is put you first. Your needs come first. Your accessibility comes first. Your comfort comes first. Be strong. We love you. â¤ď¸
Comment on Discussion Thread đ Monday 14 September 2026
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
My heart hurts.
Iâm not angry. I was never angry. Iâm justâŚso sad. I wish I had understood.
This whole time Iâve been terrified of making a mistake and locking myself into a mortgage on an apartment that wasnât the right one - I intended for this to be my home for the rest of my life, or at least for the next twenty years. I was so stressed about the possibility of picking wrong, and turns out I made a huge mistake right from the first because I hadnât understood the nature of the agreement or hence the search.
I donât know what exactly what would be different if I HAD understood, but Iâd have set my hopes somewhere different and not be grieving them now
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
The only stuff I can afford on a revised budget without their help is shitty student dogboxes, smaller and darker than I have now.
I need to move. My neighbours are unhinged. But I canât afford to do it.
What am I going to do?
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Re-set, re-group and go forward. This you can do. If itâs just you, then is the cbd an absolute must? Would something in WMelb or Docklands or even North Melbourne be sufficiently close/convenient for you? I understand that good pt is non-negotiable, as are lifts/accessibility. You might even like to look at Footscray or Kensington (which is a lot nicer than it used to be) as the pt is so good. Talk to @catfish about Maribyrnong. The new metro tunnel is a bit of a game changer re pt and Iâm not sure itâs effect has made it into real estate prices yet.
SituationCake@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
There are many options within a 10 to 20min commute to the city. Have a look at train line suburbs, you get more distance for the same amount of transport time than tram or bus. And many of the inner areas have fantastic cafes, ammenities, street vibe etc. I honestly prefer the inner suburbs vibe compared to cbd vibe. But if thatâs not your thing, then having an easy commute means you will still have great access. Renting elsewhere will hopefully solve the problem of dodgy neighbours, and give breathing time to figure out your next steps. If you find you absolutely hate being out of the cbd, then you can always move back.
Catfish@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
I would have been using the new tunnel at the old house for a 10 minute total commute, but not here unfortunately. Both tram routes are currently the high step sort, though that is to change very, very shortly. Bits of Maribyrnong are super hilly, bits are likely uninsurable against flooding. Kensington or WestMelb might be good if you stick near the 402 route. Itâs low floor and has at least 1 daily scooter user. Avoid the apartments at Foots Hopkins/whitehall. I ramble âŚ
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
West Melbourne and North Melbourne are areas I was already looking under the original plan - rhe most recent frontrunner for me when I thought I was doing a guest room was a two bedroom weâd viewed in West Melbourne. Iâd be willing to live there. Happily so
Iâd consider Docklands, but hadnât previously been looking there. The idea got nixed under the original plan because Docklands apartments tend to have quite small bedrooms (which didnât suit my parents). If itâs just me, I may look again.
I work in the CBD (Spring St area) as well as currently living here, so I WOULD like to stay within the âcan get into the centre quicklyâ kind of range. Being in the middle opens up a LOT of autonomy and independence for me. I like the area very much, I just donât like my current neighbours!
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
What I would do is take the money from my parents, find an apartment that suited me, get my siblings on board and sell it to my parents like a champion real estate agent. What a great location, itâs safe, youâll love it here, we need to hurry on this because itâs not raining apartments at the moment etc.
StudChud@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Oh Iâm so mad for you, your parents did you dirty on this. Iâm so sorry, Alamut, you deserve better đ
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Itâs my fault. I didnât understand the offer, but assumed I knew.
Thatâs on me
SituationCake@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
No itâs absolutely not. Their conditions werenât communicated. How were you to know? Please donât feel like this is your fault.
StudChud@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
No. They should have explained it better, but regardless itâs a dumb fucking stipulation that is being used to control your actions. Do not ever blame yourself for them not explaining their expectations. They offered to âhelpâ, they ought to have made it clear what they expected in return; which isnât help but a transaction.
Youâre not to blame for expecting to be able to utilise the entire home considering youâll be living in it 24/7 for 20+ years. Theyâre to blame for expecting you to have a hotel room for them, but not be able to clean or maintain that space for yourself or for them. Itâs a stupid stipulation, and theyâre stupid and disrespectful for making it a transaction under the guise of generosity. It isnât generous or kind to expect something that fucked up in return.
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
This is not your fault. This is not your fault. This is not your fault. Without clear communication, you could never have known.
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
My personal view is that some rage is entirely justified in this situation. My view only, but I think you were misled, possibly accidentally, but still misled. I also think that your family suffered a rush of blood to their collective heads when the process started, and their expectations altered in consequence as they realised all the various possibilities available. But imo they are primarily thinking of their own needs/wants, and I think yours got lost along the way.
Now, however, you are in receipt of much more accurate information and can go forward armed with that.
I do think that your family needs to consider whether or not they actually need to buy a dedicated apartment for their own use. One that has nothing to do with you and which fits their needs perfectly. You can even help them search for it. You can still offer hospitality as and when required if that suits you, but if they are going to be that picky about the space they need then they need to understand the consequences and costs - to you as well as them.
Your needs come first here. After all, you are going to be living in the space full time and your needs should be the priority imo.
This might be a bit cheeky, but you could ask if they will let you have a locked room, for your own exclusive use, at their house in Mornington. Because I bet they will refuse because âitâs their houseâ. This might bring home to them exactly what they are asking you for.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
I will never be able to afford the kind of home I want.
That was the appeal of it for me. The extra money meant I could stretch to âa comfortable apartmentâ rather than âa student shitbox with no kitchen or natural lightâ
I thought provision and use of a guest room was a fair exchange for being able to buy and live in something nicer. So I agreedâŚ
âŚbut itâs not a guest room.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
They have a guest room which I use.
My understanding of what I was providing them came largely from what they provide me - the guest room they set up has their art on the walls and a few useful items (a small ladder etc) in the wardrobe, which is about the level of use I imagined.
I imagined some bookshelves and a chair in one corner so I could sit in there and read. Thatâs all.
I didnât want to LIVE in it. Iâd have a perfectly good bedroom and bathroom of my own. I just want to be able to put some of my more neutral belongings in it, so the space isnât completely useless to me when theyâre not present to use it.
Apparently that was not the agreement. I was explicitly told âitâs not a guest room. We donât want your art or your books in our spaceâ
âŚwhich is quite different to what I understood the situation to be.
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
If they want a space thatâs theirs and theirs alone, they should be purchasing that - and not expecting you to be part of that arrangement. Are they going to share âtheirâ space with your sister and her kids??? Because if so, then they are lying to themselves about the space being their space only. And the cleanliness argument falls apart when kids are involved - trust me on this.
If they only need a dedicated space occasionally, then this is what specialist medical AirBNB is for. Sort of Ronald McDonald House, but the adult version. Yes, this is available.