Comment on Anon questions the epidemic
doingthestuff@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
As if married men or men who have had sex at least once can’t be lonely. “You got your dick wet 20 years ago, what’s the problem?!”
Dudes don’t have friends. That’s the epidemic.
Dudes make friends with each other so damn easy it’s a meme for a reason.
Like women have to simultaneously live in a world where you call us all catty bitches who compete with each order but also you all have no fucking friends and can’t make any and boohoo. Pick a fucking lane!
Cause friendship is surface level. Try talking about your feelings to one of them and see how quickly you feel alienated.
And it’s not sunshine on other side either in their defense. I’ve been in kind of an all women group once, it was genuinely a suffocating experience. Like there are just so many mannerisms and subtle etiquettes you need to pick up, it’s almost harder to talk your mind in all women setting than in all men.
And who’s you? I don’t think either OP or the commenter is the person calling women catty bitches. Everyone’s experience is different, and its better if you give it back to those who called you a catty bitch rather than a random dude on the internet.
It’s a fool who believes that the circumstantial “friends” you make because you happen to be in the same place at the same time are true, ride or die, listen to your problems, give good advice friends.
The former you can make practically anywhere you go, like you said, it’s a meme. The latter are tough, maybe a couple in your whole life kind of encounters. The former will fill a room and you won’t be alone, the latter will take up one seat and you won’t feel lonely. Quantity vs quality.
Exactly.
The problem is quality not quantity.
If you meet and bang a trillion people off of tinder (and ya I get it there are not 1 trillion humans) but you never emotionally connect with ANY of them there is NO WAY IN HELLLLL you have a better quality of life than a random person who met one person on tinder, completely connectef with that one person from tinder emotionally, and spent the rest of their life with that one tinder partner.
Any human who isnt a deranged megalomaniac would trade an infinite number of acquaintances, associates, and fake friends for one random stranger they met in a public washroom who is way older than them but who understannds and connects with their beliefs and their liifestyle completely.
This is why billionaires and politically connected jerks tend to have so many ‘associates’ , they know a gal that knows a couple guys that can ‘take care of business’ or ‘take out a target’ for you or them, and rarely do they ever have that small , quiet group of true friends.
trump is probably the most powerful man on the planet thanks to his nuclear arsenal…how many true friends do you think he has based on the people youve seen him meet over the years?..
You’re being very reductive. I don’t know who called you a catty bitch but chances are it wasn’t every man who’s ever complained about being lonely.
So when you throw it in men’s faces and say pick a lane, you’re kinda doing the same thing that some men do when after encountering one or two golddiggers they make sweeping generalizations like “women only want men for their money.”
Men can be lonely. Men can also be assholes. But when you try to invalidate some men’s loneliness because some men are assholes, that’s a problem. And that tendency to generalize is one of the big contributing factors to male loneliness today.
Also, I’ve heard women call each other catty bitches, so don’t pretend that’s something only men do. The men you’ve heard say it might even have been repeating what they heard from other women.
Dudes don’t have friends.
I’ve got plenty of dude friends. And they’ve got friends of their own.
Clubs are full of dudes. Rec leagues are full of dudes. Schools are full of dudes. They’re all hanging out and making friends with one another.
It’s real, it’s happening.
But theres still a sizeable pprtion of men dying from deaths of despair ESPECIALLY in middle age. Why is that?
Have you ever stopped to ask these specific men why they have such shit quality of life that theyd rather kill themselves with food and substances? It probanly has somethjng to do with the fact that they havve so few friends and now that their spouse is divorcored from them or dead they have NOBODY to conmect with cause making friends as a middle aged man or a middle aged single dad is excruciatingly hard.
What you see in clubs and school or on the street isnt super relevant if the data that we are observing shows us something else!
Why is that?
Well, they’re living longer, for starters. Historically, a bunch would already be dead, so they won’t be around to be sad.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
They don’t have friends. And even if they have friends, where’s the love? Everybody is doing their own thing. Even a married man can feel loneliness, and if they do, it’s good to start a conversation.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Yeah, can you imagine living in a house with a glass wall full of strangers? And you feel like the last member of your species?