Comment on How to move a sofa
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
Can we not romanticize american truck culture? Those people’s heads are already swollen enough without telling them everyone around them relies on their condescension to help.
Sure, there might be a few decent people out there who have trucks, but they’re not the majority of truck owners. They’re also more likely to help their friends and family, maybe a friend of a friend, but hardly a stranger.
And if you’re viewed as an outsider or unliked? Forget it, you’re SOL.
Also, this expectation that everyone “just knows”, without being told, is unrealistic. It is real, in that people do expect that. And perhaps most normies do “just know.” But the social rejects, the neurodivergents, the new neighbors who just moved to this state, etc.? Life is made far more challenging to these people as a direct result of that expectation that everyone should “just know” without being told.
First of all this is a shitpost community.
When I moved states, we introduced ourselves to the neighbor and they offered to mow our lawn cause we didn’t have a mower yet. Gave em a bottle of wine, chill neighbors all the way until they moved out.
Most people are decent, even more than the 80/20 rule.
You’re really only acknowledging that you’re part of an in-group that can move to a new neighborhood and be immediately accepted. Not everyone enjoys that privilege, and you pretending that your experience disproves that only highlights the erasure.
It doesn’t disprove what you’re saying. I’m saying that coming into a shitpost community where the vibe is supposed to be fun and communicating negatively might be a symptom of not being able to communicate positively irl.
It can be hard and I’m sorry if it is for you, but would do expect from people? Good vibes are contagious
“Good vibes” and toxic positivity are tools of fascism. I can’t talk about climate change around people cause they’d think I’m being a debby-downer.
Same thing with wealth disparity, poverty, starvation, disability, disease, conflict, displacements, etc. Can’t talk about these issues, serious problems in the world, cause everyone’s like “dude, good vibes only.” Can’t talk about corruption and fascism itself because people don’t want that “negativity.”
Maybe I’m cynical, but it’s not without good reason. Maybe if the world held space for more cynicism then we could actually start working on some of the problems we face. But no. Can’t have that. Good vibes, dude.
If I need to keep my mouth shut about all the bad things going on in the world in order to be accepted by others, then I’d honestly rather be an outcast…
Thing is, like you say, they’re willing to help a friend of a friend, but frankly the bar for a friend is pretty low for a lot of people. As someone who’s also neurodivergent and has had approximately three friends on average for most of my life, but recently moved to America and so had a full reset, I’ve been reminded that the majority of people like to think they’re good people, even if they have questionable beliefs or cut you off in traffic or whatever, and thay extends to helping out people that they know.
Given I’ve been in the country a month, have autism, and live out of the city, I’m still fairly confident if I needed a neighbor to take me to hospital, or someone to help me move a couch, or whatever else, I could find them even through work or the neighborhood pretty quickly, as it just takes one connection to flip a switch in people’s brains from “fuck that guy” to “they’re in my tribe, I’ll help them”
as it just takes one connection to flip a switch in people’s brains from “fuck that guy” to "they’re in my tribe, I’ll help them
That’s the thing, not everybody has that connection, and the people who lack it tend to be invisible in these kinds of situations, and there’s always a lot of overt hostility directed towards those people whenever they point out that they don’t have this thing that everyone else seems to be pretending that everyone has, which is community support.
It’s great that you feel like you connect and have the support you need, but that doesn’t justify the erasure of people who don’t have that.
Yeah, I completely agree, but it also doesn’t mean that the people who don’t have that connection to you suddenly aren’t willing to help their community, it just means that you have trouble integrating into communities, which is very valid and I can completely relate and understand, as that’s kind of how being neurodivergent works.
As much as it sucks to hear, it’s absolutely an “it’s not them, it’s you” situation, and I’ve been in the same position, and still do get in the same position, where I’m feeling out of place, unsure what to do and unwelcome, and very sensitive to confirmations of that, which is part of at least my experience of being autistic, but I’ve learnt that a lot of the times you don’t actually have to pick up on social cues or whatever to make connections, as most people aren’t even that invested anyway, and to most people talking to someone, even if they’re weird, is better than talking to nobody. You may say “but everyone’s already got friends they’re always with” but even that’s just an autistic lens over it, as you’re just noticing when other people are having conversations but not you. And it doesn’t have to be everyone. Like you said yourself, being a friend of a friend goes a long way, so if you just have a few connections with people who are friendlier or more similar to you, then that just gets you into circles. You won’t exactly be neurotypical all of a sudden, but it definitely helps with feeling less different or isolated.
I do have trouble integrating into communities, that’s the whole point. That people like me experience erasure. Even now, as I point out that people like me exist, most replies I’m getting have been combative in trying to double down on that erasure.
Like, can we not just acknowledge that there are people who slip through the cracks of society and as a result face challenges that most people never even have to think about or consider? Things that most people view as so easy and simple, that suddenly aren’t so easy and simple when you have no friends or community.
But no, people don’t like that reminder, so they’re hostile towards it, which only reinforces the marginalization and erasure of people like me…
There are two kinds of truck.
The first is an oversized showpiece that’s sparkling clean, has brand new tires, and not a single scratch. You need a stepladder to get in to drive, and it has never seen a day of work in its life. The driver is, invariably, a selfish jerk who wants the working-class status of having a truck, but no inclination to use it for its given purpose. They need a little sedan, but they want to take up space and feel important. This is what is known as a ‘pavement princess’. This is a bad truck.
The second can be any year, but is usually a little on the old side. The owner has had their hands in every part of the engine, or is on a first-name basis with their mechanic. It is covered in well-earned scars, and the owner is a person like Kevin. This is a good truck.
As the maintainer of an ’02 community s10, I appreciate recognizing the distinction.
bees@sh.itjust.works 1 week ago
Yeah fuck Americans! I hate all of them tbh, even the supposed “good” ones. Every single one is a pig and deserves to die. They should really learn to be more tolerant and not to hate people based on one characteristic that they think tells me everything they need to know about a person
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 week ago
Dude, I’m an american myself, and having grown up surrounded by americans I think I can say that it’s not always sunshine and rainbows like it’s depicted in the post.
The people around me who drive trucks are the biggest assholes for miles. Rolling coal, denying climate change, flying trump flags, shining high beams in your rearview mirror. Pretending this isn’t a real pattern and a serious issue isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Sure, there are exceptions. Some people who drive trucks are nice people. They usually drive smaller, older, more beat-up and well-used trucks. But then again, lots of assholes drive those too. As for the big, shiny new trucks that never leave the pavement, there’s a reason people say they’re compensating for something. They’re more likely to run over a cyclist than they are to help you move a couch.