Comment on How to move a sofa

• JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  This is the kind of stuff to bring up in therapy, not with strangers on the Internet.

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    If people can only discuss systemic issues in therapy, then we’re all fucked.

    Do you say the same thing to women or people of color when they talk about sexism or racism? Gay or trans people when they talk about homophobia or transphobia?

    Why is ableism any different to you?

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• NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  You don’t have to keep your mouth shut about the bad things going on in the world to be nice to people.

  The same way an ongoing climate collapse, the rise of real fascism in america (not just ‘being friendly’ to people as you say) multiple wars and multiple capital G genocides does not mean you’ve got to be shitty to everyone around you just because they’re not perfectly aligned with the way you speak.

  Maybe try to take a minute and instead of reading everything in bad faith by instantly thinking the worst of someone who you know nothing about based purely on an internet comment, use the phrase “Dont make perfect the enemy of good.”

  If you want to stay a self imposed outast, that’s fine too. But remember nobody is making it out alive if everyone tries to make it alone.

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    I didn’t say “just being friendly” makes a person a fascist. What I’m saying is that even fascists can “just be friendly” to the people they accept, and they often do. This is part of what allows fascism to perpetuate.

    Someone could be casually sexist or viciously racist, but if they’re nice enough to the people in their community, people will say “he’s just a great guy,” because he’s nice to the people who they think matter. They have a word for it. They call them “good ole boys.”

    I’m telling you my personal experience from living among these people and yet everyone seems to be in denial that this could be the case. But I bet a large proportion of them know an aunt or an uncle or a family friend who’s a narcissist or a fascist, but other people don’t see through that disguise because they’re nice to the ones who “matter.” I bet most people here have some experience of not being allowed to call those people out because their friends and family will come to the person’s defense and dismiss any criticism.

    I’m telling you this happens on a larger scale, and the glorification of these “Kevins” is inextricably tied to it. Maybe not every Kevin with a truck is like that, but I’m telling you a lot of them are.

    Also, on a more personal note:

    If you want to stay a self imposed outcast

    Fuck you for implying this is some sort of choice I’m making. I’ve been coping with ostracization and rejection my whole life, and you want to assume I’m doing it to myself for some inexplicable reason?

    That’s a fucking “what was she wearing” moment.

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    • NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

      I’m not saying it’s an inexplicable reason.

      Im saying that you’re making a lot of assumptions about people that are harming your ability to connect and learn the truth about them by jumping straight to “You’re a fascist/ableist/[insert a label that allows you to maintain your supposed moral high ground by not engaging in converssation.]”

      Your attitude of assuming fascism based on one drop of ignorance, either through their poor upbringing, susceptibility/exposure to propaganda or through, in this post for example, their choice to drive a truck, is part of what’s causing your social life harm.

      Now, to clarify; I am in no way suggesting that you need to make nice with actual fascists. I’m saying you should treat people with differing opinions like human fucking beings, because judging people based on your own assumptions about the miniscule amounts of information you can garner by a short interaction IS some fascist shit.

      I, to suffer from being a neurodivergent and more often than not, being an antisocial person, but what I do is actually talk to people like they’re actual people, instead of painting then with a wide brush by labelling them.

      I have genuinely changed someone’s mind on what’s going on in Gaza by actually talking to them about it, instead of shutting down any form of communication and cutting them out, because I KNEW they weren’t actually a racist, but instead were a product of the absolutely monumental propaganda campaign that is modern mass media and social media manipulation.

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      • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

        I didn’t call anyone here a fascist, all I did was point out the uncomfortable parallels with this romanticization of truck culture to certain attitudes in society that enable fascism.

        I also never said that everyone who drives a truck is a fascist. I only said that a lot of them are, and that a lot of people in their communities would call them great guys, because they’re willing to help out their neighbors. But a lot of time, their willingness to help ends there. And there’s a dark side to this “good ole boy” attitude where no one cares how you treat outsiders as long as you help out your in-group.

        And if you don’t see the connection that this in-group/out-group dichotomy and the “good ole boy” culture that so often accompanies that “truck guy” have with fascism, I don’t know how else to explain it.

        But even if I try explaining further you’ll probably just lean harder on strawmen by claiming I said everyone who drives a truck is a fascist, even though I very clearly said that’s not the case…

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• BigDiction@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  this is a shitpost community

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  • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

    And I think this post is shit, so there you go!

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