Yeah but if you stop to talk to a random woman thereâs a non zero chance that you end up in jail and accused of sexual assault
Comment on The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" đł
coolie4@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠agoI make a point of stopping random male presenting strangers (Iâm cis het male, randomly stopping women to complement them is not a realistic option)
Iâm settled down now, but not too long ago I had a lot of great results that started with approaching women on the street. Thereâs definitely a specific way to do it, because Iâve seen a lot of wannabe pickup artists completely disrespecting women, and thatâs not it.
Women are people too. If you can talk to a random man, you can talk to a random woman. You literally start off exactly the same and only start escalating if they seem like theyâre enjoying the interaction.
Feyr@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
blarghly@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Please provide an example of an average guy trying to strike up a respectful conversation with a random girl and going to jail for it. Literally any example. Just one.
coolie4@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
And this is kind of the point I was trying to make. The pendulum has swung so far the other direction that the messaging makes many men think they are not allowed to talk to women at all. This just adds to the divisions.
blarghly@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
I certainly agree with you there. I think this is a big part of why young men are increasingly moving to right wing spaces. If you look at right wing messaging towards young men, a lot of it centers around their romantic lives. Why? Because that is their pain point. And the right gives them an achievable, believable path to get what they want: get jacked, get rich, be a leader, talk to a lot of women but ignore negative responses. Then add in some casual misogyny to stroke their bruised egos.
The leftâs advice for menâs romantic woes, on the other hand, couldnt be less appealing. Donât do X. Donât do Y. This is easy, whatâs wrong with you? If you donât have a satisfying romantic life, you must be a misogynistic piece of shit. If women arenât interested in you, then just accept it.
The effect is that the left tends to only attract the most depressed, self hating, and socially anxious men, while the remainder either check out politically or move to the right.
SirSamuel@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
đ¤
a. Did you not read the parenthetical?
b. Not likely, but there are high odds they will be at best uncomfortable and at worst panicked, depending on which flavor of harassment and assault theyâve experienced before
c. Get help, friend. Or at least touch grass. People are people, and women arenât alien creatures out to get you
d. If this is a troll, well played ^^
ivanafterall@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
No.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
Itâs not 2014, the world is now the Handmaiden tale.
SirSamuel@lemmy.world â¨2⊠â¨weeks⊠ago
This particular style is kinda confrontational, generally starting with a firm âExcuse me, sirâ or âHey Chiefâ
Also Iâm an obese middle aged balding white guy. Once i get a little older and my beard gets whiter Iâll have a little more leeway. Iâm aware of the inherent power differential that exists with some people because of my appearance alone. I donât obsess over it, Iâm just cognizant of it. My goal is to make people, especially people that may not always get a positive reaction from their outward appearance, feel a little better about themselves. But also just everyone, really. I want to be positive
That being said, I was in a Home Depot the other day and passed a woman that had a sweet piece of art worked into her undercut. She had her braids pulled to the opposite side of her head to show it off. As I approached her on my way somewhere else we made eye contact. I took the opportunity to smile big with my eyes and a little with my mouth, tap the side of my head, and say âThatâs freakin awesome. Love it!â The response was immediate, genuine, and super positive. In two seconds I was past her, moving on with my life. It was a good moment. A life made of these is a good life.
So yeah, if the situation is right, Iâm an equal opportunity complementer. Iâm also happily married, so itâs not like itâs a ploy. But I have a skin condition that prevents me from wearing a ring most of the time, and, again, Iâm aware of the dynamics of my appearance. Anyway, youâre right women are people too, just people that have a 1 in 4 chance of having been abused/assaulted in a way I never have been, by âpeopleâ the same gender as me. So Iâm cautious of making them uncomfortable while just trying to live their lives
You couldnât know that from my comment tho, itâs all good. Love you and hope you have a great day đ