Comment on The cashier said "hello" instead of "hi" 😳

SirSamuel@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

• coolie4@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I make a point of stopping random male presenting strangers (I’m cis het male, randomly stopping women to complement them is not a realistic option)

  I’m settled down now, but not too long ago I had a lot of great results that started with approaching women on the street. There’s definitely a specific way to do it, because I’ve seen a lot of wannabe pickup artists completely disrespecting women, and that’s not it.

  Women are people too. If you can talk to a random man, you can talk to a random woman. You literally start off exactly the same and only start escalating if they seem like they’re enjoying the interaction.

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  • SirSamuel@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This particular style is kinda confrontational, generally starting with a firm “Excuse me, sir” or “Hey Chief”

    Also I’m an obese middle aged balding white guy. Once i get a little older and my beard gets whiter I’ll have a little more leeway. I’m aware of the inherent power differential that exists with some people because of my appearance alone. I don’t obsess over it, I’m just cognizant of it. My goal is to make people, especially people that may not always get a positive reaction from their outward appearance, feel a little better about themselves. But also just everyone, really. I want to be positive

    That being said, I was in a Home Depot the other day and passed a woman that had a sweet piece of art worked into her undercut. She had her braids pulled to the opposite side of her head to show it off. As I approached her on my way somewhere else we made eye contact. I took the opportunity to smile big with my eyes and a little with my mouth, tap the side of my head, and say “That’s freakin awesome. Love it!” The response was immediate, genuine, and super positive. In two seconds I was past her, moving on with my life. It was a good moment. A life made of these is a good life.

    So yeah, if the situation is right, I’m an equal opportunity complementer. I’m also happily married, so it’s not like it’s a ploy. But I have a skin condition that prevents me from wearing a ring most of the time, and, again, I’m aware of the dynamics of my appearance. Anyway, you’re right women are people too, just people that have a 1 in 4 chance of having been abused/assaulted in a way I never have been, by “people” the same gender as me. So I’m cautious of making them uncomfortable while just trying to live their lives

    You couldn’t know that from my comment tho, it’s all good. Love you and hope you have a great day 😊

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  • Feyr@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Yeah but if you stop to talk to a random woman there’s a non zero chance that you end up in jail and accused of sexual assault

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    • blarghly@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Please provide an example of an average guy trying to strike up a respectful conversation with a random girl and going to jail for it. Literally any example. Just one.

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      • coolie4@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        And this is kind of the point I was trying to make. The pendulum has swung so far the other direction that the messaging makes many men think they are not allowed to talk to women at all. This just adds to the divisions.

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    • SirSamuel@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      🤔

      a. Did you not read the parenthetical?

      b. Not likely, but there are high odds they will be at best uncomfortable and at worst panicked, depending on which flavor of harassment and assault they’ve experienced before

      c. Get help, friend. Or at least touch grass. People are people, and women aren’t alien creatures out to get you

      d. If this is a troll, well played ^^

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No.

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s not 2014, the world is now the Handmaiden tale.

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