Comment on Gotta shit the right way

toothpaste_sandwich@thebrainbin.org ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

• Klear@piefed.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Willing your pants away takes concentration.

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• dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  He is mad because his toilet is hooked up to a dryer vent and she’s furious because, for some reason, her toilet uses electricity instead of water. Both sound like smelly affairs.

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  • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    And both shit their pants and are wondering why it isn’t in the toilet.

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• Abyssian@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  How else do you force it out at quick as possible? Takes concentration. You need to close your mouth and push out with your poo muscles while simultaneously trying to force air out of your closed mouth. As illustrated this advanced shitting can make your entire face turn very read, then get super pale. It’s because all of the toxins are leaving with the poo.

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  • ickplant@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Pretty sure my step son used this tutorial, he passed out on the toilet once.

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    • Abyssian@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Glad to hear he’s trying to keep up with the latest medical advances in shitting. ^^

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  • Winter_Oven@piefed.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    aneurysm speedrun any %

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    • Abyssian@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You misspelled it, the brochure I got says it’s called “Analeurysm”, and is the certified medical practice of releasing all the toxins your body otherwise pulls from the air through osmosis and accumulates for no real reason through your anus.

      I heard about from the health blogger who sells me snake oil wellness shakes. To be honest, I was a bit skeptical at first, but I asked my Chiropractor when I took my 6 week old infant child in for the adjustment of the newborn, soft, still malleable and forming bones in his back that he’d told me the week before all babies need so they don’t develop crickets and he assured me that Analeurysm is 100% legit and even hooked me up with the brochure at a discount.

      I try to always follow the latest medical science, and Chiropractors are legally allowed to call themselves doctors, so we can all be sure they know their medical science and are all straight shooters who can be trusted al your infant’s spine, the latest breakthroughs in shitting, and all of our money. 👍

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