Comment on How do I deal with children following me around in video games?

• YoFrodo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You might just need to be more honest and direct. Something like “thanks for the invite but i want to go solo today”

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  • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWPhg_eyv1s

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• Dookieman12@piefed.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You’re relying on children to interpret social cues as if they’re an adult. They’re not mature enough for that. You have to be direct and tell them “no”, which can be done without being mean.

  Try saying, “No thanks, I don’t want to do that. I’m playing solo tonight.” If you never want to play with them, just say, “Thanks for the invite, but I prefer to play solo.”

  If they won’t accept “no” for an answer, use the in-game report features to report them for harassing you and/or block them. It will (hopefully) teach them a valuable lesson.

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• gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Drawing boundaries for people who have no connection to you besides playing the same MMO isn’t “mean”. It’s simply drawing boundaries.

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• Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I think you should try stating your wishes, and then sticking with them. It worked for me before, when I was also struggling with a similar thing, thought it was needy grownups, instead of kids.

  If you say things like “not right now”, “I’m doing x currently”, “I can’t because I’m busy”, this signals to them that they need to wait, and you will be available later. And as they get impatient they will ask you again. This isn’t what you want.

  If you say “sorry, today I would like to play alone” they will possibly be more disappointed that they don’t get you at all, but at least they will know not to expect your availability and they can hopefully make their own fun. It’s sort of like ripping off the band-aid. It’s more uncomfortable for you to say it this way, and will hurt them more to hear, but it’s better for everyone involved in the long run.

  I used to be evasive with my adult gaming friends, like “I’m not sure I’ll be online today” and “I might come on later”, sometimes while hiding my steam and discord status and playing alone. But it had the same effect you’re describing. These days I just tell them, “Sorry I’m too tired”, or “Sorry I feel like playing a single player game today”. It’s miles better, and I don’t have to keep lying.

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  • XiELEd@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I see, you’re right and this sounds reasonable. Thank you a lot!

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• Azzu@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You’re supposed to be “mean” (it’s not mean at all) in this case.

  Tell them to stop following you around or talking to you, nicely, exactly once.

  Then, if they don’t comply, you are probably dealing with a troll who enjoys annoying people. Children especially are prone to that. You have to stop doing anything interesting for a bit, just go afk, make a tea or whatever, and wait until they get bored and move on. Then you can resume playing.

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