Wrong! The woman should have the responsibility of preventing children. It’s her body.
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Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks agoYou could get a vasectomy…
three@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
The woman should be ABLE and ALLOWED to protect herself against pregnancy, yes, but the responsibility isn’t all hers. Every unwanted pregnancy starts with sperm. Her ovum was just sitting there, innocently drifting down the fallopian tube, staying inside her body.
Any man who doesn’t accept his full responsibility for preventing pregnancy, or for the consequences of a pregnancy occurring, is a shit.
Female-centered methods that are invasive like IUDs or rely on hormones like the Pill have common side effects like intense pain, personality changes, increased stroke and heart attack risk. The only reason women tolerate them is because the consequences of pregnancy are higher for them. The side effects of vasectomy are temporary pain and bruising, and sperm granuloma. Sperm quality diminishes quite slowly and sperm can be frozen beforehand, so it’s still possible to father a wanted child.
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My guy I am 23. I kinda want kids at a later date.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
…really?
looks around world
…why?
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I dunno. Things might change. I also don’t wanna grow old alone.
TheBat@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Why are you expecting your kids to be your caretakers?
And what if they move to another country for work? You’re still growing old alone.
Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 3 weeks ago
As someone who isn’t going to have kids and doesn’t want them, I still get the growing old alone concern.
It’s not that I would have wanted children to take care of me, but that I don’t trust the social safety system in the U.S.
Even if things are going well, it’s still a terrifying proposition. My first job ever was as a dietary aid at a mid-level retirement home, and while some of the people there were thriving (namely the folks who somehow managed to go into the home with their partners), the majority were a study of what happens when the ability to live exceeds the will. It was a formative experience.
And why I’m in therapy and desperately scared that between neurodivergence and trauma, that I’m not going to be one of those really social old people with friends everywhere that care for them and keep them company. Although I think it’s not a given that kids will automatically be there for you as you age, I can see the appeal of doing what you can to hedge your bets. It’s a terrifying world out there, and we only have each other.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Look into freezing sperm now while you’re young and it’s squirmy and spermy and healthy. Then you can get the snip (or the no-snip method) and when you do want kids you won’t be ruining your sex life with scheduled sessions. She can get inseminated when the ultrasound shows an ovum is waiting and it’ll have a better chance of conception. Go in with her if you can and she’s comfortable with that. Just as you will for the birth.
swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
“Ruining your sex life with scheduled sessions”? Oh no I have to fuck a lot, woe is me
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
It sounds like fun but having gone through it for a couple of years, it’s not. There’s times of abstinence and times when it’s all about impregnation, not spontaneity or fun. She’s constantly watching her cycle, and every period is extra depressing. And that’s not counting any infertility treatments like hormones fucking with emotions. Our now-adult offspring are amazing and I’m glad we did it, but it wasn’t just “fuck a lot.”
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think I can live with using condoms to be completely honest. I do intend to get a vasectomy after I either have kids or decide that I don’t want them.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Condoms are cool, all the ladies love a man who uses condoms.